Post # 1
I don’t know whether it’s just because I am married now that people expect I’m going to be popping out babies straight away but after being asked 3 times I feel like I need to wear a neon sign saying I’m not pregnant!! I’m not fat or anything I just have a little podge in the belly area, it doesn’t help when I am bloated or when it’s that time of the month. I don’t have a perfectly flat stomach! I just find it so rude for people to assume and come up and ask in their round about ways. The latest lady came up and whispered to me “should I be wishing you congratulations?” I just shook my head and said no and now I try to avoid her. There is no way I would do that to somebody! It’s pretty rude if you ask me! Now I second guess every morning what to wear and I’m constantly paranoid that I look fat! 🙁
Post # 2
aquastar: Ask them the same!
I’m sure you are beautiful! Wear what you like and makes you feel happy, and if anyone asks again, just say that you are uncomfortable with them askinig that, and you are offended by the assumption.
Or just call them fat and leave
Post # 3
aquastar: It is better than my coworker who pointed out that I gained weight. .. I gained all of 5 pounds, which took me from a 00 to 0. All I could say was “wow. That waa so rude I don’t know where to begin”
I’ve also got a lot of pregnancy questions because I’ve been at a lot of doctor appointments and have been in baggy clothes. I always respond “not yet. Maybe one day down the road”.
It feels so invasive of a question; but I try to think of the intent. Are they trying to be hurtful or just really excited for you? I also know when I called out a coworker’s pregnancy (or his wife’s pregnancy) before they were ready to announce, I felt awful. He was telling a funny story and I was like “oh, that’s not normal. Is she pregnant? ” His face said it all and I felt horribe. He gave me plenty of grief 6 weeks later when they announced. I didn’t mean to ask such a personal question. It just blurted outn
Post # 4
I would be mortified if I asked someone if they were pregnant and they weren’t… not that that makes it any less irritating for you!
This has happened to me over the past 6 weeks or so, no baby in there just a whole lot of ‘cheat day’s catching up to me!! I just try to ignore them and like OP said, think of their intent!
Post # 5
aquastar: Wear what you want’, don’t stress, just ignore people. I once left a job after 3.5 years and as I announced I was leaving TWO people asked me if I was going on MATERNITY LEAVE?!!?! Like, WTF??!!! I am a very average size and shape and there is no way someone would look at me and think I looked 8/9 months preggo. Very odd! So…. it could be worse. People could think you were AT THE FINAL STAGES!!!! 😉
Post # 6
I CANNOT BELIEVE that anyone would say that to you. I am stunned. WHO does that? I would NEVER go up to someone and ask if she was pregnant. Just….no. This would piss me off so much. I’m normally very meek and polite, but I think this would make me snap.
I’d probably say, “If I do become pregnant, I’ll let you all know when the time is right. Until then, it’s not your business, and please don’t ask.” And I’d add a silent “F you” in my head. This is just crazy!
Post # 7
I”ve had people do that to me as well – SO ANNOYING. Next time I would just look at them and reply ‘No – are you?’ Or ask them some other wildly inappropriate question.
Post # 8
I agree, it’s rude. I would approach this in a self depricating manner. Question: “Are you pregnant?” Answer: “No, I’m just fat.” But that’s just my personality, I’m self depricating and sarcastic.
Post # 9
Ha. People should know to have a VERY high threshold for asking if someone’s pregnant. I would only ask if I already knew the answer was yes or when they are very far along.
Post # 10
aquastar: I totally have had multiple people ask me the same! It’s been four months since our wedding and I haven’t gained any weight!
One situation, I had said “I’m really tired today.” And someone responded, “are you pregnant?” Wow, just wow.
The best response I’ve seen was a suggestion here on the bee. If someone asks “Are you pregnant?” Just say, “Oh, why do you ask?” And make them flounder for an answer. 🙂 They’ll learn quickly not to ask.
Post # 11
stillme: I know! How they think its not rude is beyond me!
Post # 12
MsBeer: omg they must be complete idiots!
Post # 13
That is completely rude! People need to mind their own business. I had people asking me about babies at our wedding, geez step off!
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2014 - The Meeting House/DoubleTree by Hilton
aquastar: Ahh that’s so rude! One of my friends told me that she gained weight after her wedding and people kept asking her when she was due, so I was really worried that it would happen to me. It hasn’t (and I’ve gained enough weight that they could ask lol), but we had champagne at work the other day and someone said something. I initially said no to the drink because it makes me sleepy, but after a few people gave me a look and someone asked me if there was a reason I wasn’t drinking, I had two glasses!
Post # 15
aquastar: I have lost count the number of times people have asked me if i’m pregnant, or when I am having a a baby since getting married. I’m pretty sure one day at work it was about ten times I got asked!! I’m slim, but sometimes when bloated I think “maybe I do look pregnant”!!! I don’t think though that it’s actually because we look pregnant, I think people just expect it as soon as you marry for some reason!! There are a few girls at my work who are preganat at the moment which makes it worse for me as I get the “so when are you having one?”!!! I often wonder how people feel who have trouble conceiving? Must be awful for them – who knows – I could even be one of them!