- Posted 5 months ago by ninteenthchance
- last comment
- 1 year ago
This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life…I have been engaged all of three weeks though and already my family are taking over.
Please Note: really I don’t have a leg to stand on here because my family are paying for most of the wedding. The only things they are not paying for is the dress (that’s me) Church, cars, flowers, rings, grog at reception (that’s FH) – so this is just a rant post
I come from a family that are OBSESSED with what people think of them. I have a little bit of it in me but I try to stay away from that kind of thinking.
All I want to do is be married…that’s it.
I’ve been engaged for 3 weeks now and already we’ve set a date (which I put my foot down and fought for because they wanted me to wait an extra 12 months) for 22 Feb 2014 fair enough
They’ve contacted the church and asked for a minister they want
They’re getting ready to put a deposit down on the reception
We already have the dress
They are making lists of who to invite
This is all well and good but now after a letter from my FMIL congratulating me and stating that she can’t wait to meet me next Feb when I travel there, which I thought was really nice, they are now conviced that she is trying to take over the wedding when she has neither said anything about it or even had an imput (because she lives in a different country).
Then my FH said that he wanted his brother (who is 20) to be his best man. They are ok with that because he is tall. When put on the spot my FH said that he wanted his youngest brother (who will be 14 at the wedding) to be the second groomsman because that is who he is close to.
Well my family have now chucked a fit. This is not even a concrete decision! But no FH can’t have his youngest brother because he’s too young and too short and it will be bad for the bridesmaid.
Who are they to tell him who he can have as a groomsman (is there a thing that I’m missing?!)
Next order of business is bridesmaids. I don’t have any close girlfriends that I really even want as a bridesmaid – my cousin who was going to be my bridesmaid had a falling out with the family and is no longer welcome in our lives or house.
I don’t really want ANY bridesmaids but I’m being forced to choose some otherwise the photos will look stupid. I agreed to one and as soon as that happened they said they wanted two (for the record I’m not even sure the girls I’m planning on asking will say yes)
I know I don’t have much say in all this because I am not paying for much (we are doing the traditional monetary split) but honestly, am I being unreasonable here?
Then we get to the point, that I don’t even really care, because I have known for years that this was going to happen, I would have no say in my own wedding so I didn’t really think about it too much, but I care for my FH and I want him to be able to pick who he wants.
then I get asked today what FH is most excited about – I have not asked him this to his face so I just went off the things he’s been talking about and what I know he is like.
So I said at first, he is most excited about being married – my nan instantly took that to mean he only cares about sex which is NOT true. He is excited to be able to call me his wife, to spend the rest of his life with me. She said that that’s not good enough.
A couple of hours later I said to her that he is most excited about designing the wedding rings (which he is really excited about because we’ve already talked about it several times and again today) and she said that that still wasn’t good enough.
So I exasperately said well I’ll just ask him then “no, don’t ask him, stupid girl. Why would you do something like that, you can’t ask him that” is the answer I got.
WTF do they want from me??!!
I couldn’t really give a damn about ONE DAY. Yes I want to wear a pretty dress and dance and say my vows in a church, but it’s one fricking day! I just want my life with my husband to start!!!
And to think that my family wants us to move in with them after we’re married so that we don’t have to pay for rent – they say – I know it’s truly because they don’t want me living 20kms away (we live in Sydney city). And they will also want to control where we buy our future house!
I love my family and everything they do for me and I could never elope because that would destroy our relationship. They are too good to me and I know I sound like a whiny brat but honestly, I’m a person that doesn’t stress about things and it’s them bitching about every little detail that is putting me on edge