Post # 1
I don’t even care about having a wedding anymore!
I’ve been lurking and posting here and there for a while, but I thought I would come out of the woodwork. I’ve been with my boyfriend for seven years (we are high school sweethearts, but we are right at that age where more recently everyone has started getting engaged, married, and pregnant). I’ve probably been “waiting” for about three years. In the beginning a dreamed up about a million different wedding possibilities.
I will say that I am lucky because I know he wants to marry me and I know that he has been doing everything in his power to make that happen. The reason we’ve been waiting so long to make it “official” is a complicated story that basically boils down to money. His parents have been struggling financially due to lay offs and he has put his life on hold to help support them.
Waiting is still hard though, and I’m at the point where I just want to be married to him. It’s going to take everything I have not to beg him to run to the courthouse with me the minute he “officially” pops the question!
Anyone else wait so long that they couldn’t bear the thought of waiting/planning for a year before getting married?
Post # 3
Have you discussed with your SO how long you expect to be engaged before you get married? Does he also know that you would be ok with going to the courthouse? Maybe part of the reason he’s waiting to propose is because he thinks you want a big wedding, and he knows that’s not really possible right now.
I’ve always wanted a smaller wedding, but SO actually wants a bigger wedding. Talking about it is key. You just want to be on the same page.
Post # 4
Trust me, we’ve discussed EVERYTHING, including eloping. It’s hard not to after being together for so long! Haha.
We’re actually waiting to make it “official” (which I guess is just a formality for everyone else’s sake) because we want his parents to be completely financially independent. We can’t afford to support ourselves as a married couple (with me in grad school and working part time) while still trying to help his parents. He is basically paying their mortgage right now, so he is living at home to be able to do that. Once they can manage themselves (which will be sooner than later, hopefully, since his mother just got a second job) we will be able to finally tie the knot!
It’s just pretty amazing how much my idea of a “dream wedding” has changed since I started ‘waiting.’ I used to think I would regret it if I didn’t have it all- the cake, the dress, the pictures, the flowers… and now the only requirement I have is that at the end of the day we go home to the same place! The sad thing is, that should have been my attitude from day one, whether I ended up having a big wedding or not!
Post # 5
Trust me i know how you feel. All i can say is maybe you can ask him to get you a less expensive ring so he can propose sooner?
goodluck and hang in there xoxox
Post # 6
I commend you for being so patient! IF I had to wait 7 years and my SO was supporting his parents, I think I would pay for my own ring!!! Sad, I know. Haha. But it is OUR money after all, so I wouldn’t be opposed to it if it gets us there quicker.
And I am like you, I do not need a huge wedding. I think I could elope. It is he who wants the lavish destination wedding with all of his family. I think reality will hit him when we see the cost and I can talk him into eloping.
We’ve only been together a little over 3 years, and if I don’t have a ring before we reach 3, I am out!
Post # 7
Good girl! I don’t know what I would think after 3 years must less 7 years! I would have knocked him out and carried him to the courthouse HAHA.
I think you have an AWESOME guy for him wanting to help his parents like that, what a sweetie for sure! I think it’s also great that he wants to make everything “right” before he proposes to you. If you really think that you can have a small wedding (at this point, I understand… everything is SO expensive!) I say discuss it more and go for it. Do you live together now? You might as well make it official;) Good luck and keep us posted! 🙂
Post # 8
I think I am actually getting to that point of not caring about the wedding.. I just want the progress!
Maybe thats what triggers a guy to propose.. when the girlfriend seems to lose interest..? Haha – migggghttt work!
Post # 9
Whats the hurry? Is getting married going to change your relationship in any way? If it is then sure go and elope so that you can move out or do whatever you are waiting to do, if its not then just wait till everything is in order. A few extra years isn’t a big deal when you look at the bigger picture. Are you going to regret eloping in a few years when you are now able to afford the wedding you always wanted? Just saying.
I will be with my Fiance 7 years when we get married next year, we were highschool sweethearts too and I would have been more then fine waiting several more years before he proposed.
Post # 10
I am in the exact same position. I have been with my fiance for 7 years, who proposed in October, but similarly just to make it ‘official’. We have known for a few years that we wanted to get married but we were still a little young (we are both 22 now). It has got to the same point now though after looking at how much it would cost us, that I just feel like I’d rather scrap all the planning, saving, worrying about people getting upset because they don’t have an invite and just doing something very private!
After 7 years and having been together from the age of 15, I just want more than anything to be married, not to have a big wedding, but to be husband and wife. I am thinking about the possibility of getting married on holiday, although I am quite traditional and would like a church wedding. It’s tricky when you have a very large family! I don’t want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on one day, I’d rather spend it on the honeymoon! I don’t mind waiting up to 2 yrs to get married, but any longer than that seems a very long time!