Post # 1
Hello Bees! So, it’s just under 5 months until my wedding day and I’ve hit the preverbial wall! I’ve been able to manage it by working out, surrounding myself with positive people, and well… WINE! lol… But, today I just completely crashed! I’ve become sensitive to everything little request and starting to feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders! Unfortunately, my FI caught the ugly end of it! He forgot to take the trash out, and yeah… I lost it! The positive side (if there is one), is we never say things we can’t take back…and I’m sure he feels the stress I’m under, but I knew when we started this wedding planning process he’s not the type that’s into color swatches and roses over peonies, or any of that “girl stuff”…that’s my guy! A man’s man… He wants to know about the DJ, the venue (the view), and the food and beer selection (OF COURSE!!)… I’ve reminded myself to not constantly talk about the wedding to everyone around me, and to contain those silly moments of excitement..but there is a side of me that’s feeling isolated and alone!
Am I the only one to struggle or should I embrace the Bridezilla that was prone to rear it’s ugly head????
xx, Overwhelmed Aug 2013 Bride
Post # 3
Hey date twin! I think the isolation is a pretty common feeling–I’ve had it too. You can’t make people help you with wedding stuff, since it’s all about what the bride wants, but you definitely can ask for help with other things. Do you and your FI live together? (I guessed yes from your mentioning him taking out the trash.) If that’s the case, ask him to take charge of groceries, trash, and dishes (or whatever) for the next couple months, and hand him a list of those things to remind him. I’ll be honest, you will be doing 90% of the wedding planning, no matter how great a guy you have…but see if he’ll at least bear the brunt of the stuff he can handle. If you explain to him that he can either do these chores, OR take charge of the flowers, cake, decor, etc., he will happily take over the former (mine did!) Good luck!
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza
@gadgetgirl909: It happens to the best of us. I am a September bride (so not too much later than you) and recently realized how much I needed to actually get done still. It was driving me insane and I was feeling overwhelmed. I found that helped me was to make a list and organize it by when things needed to be done. It ended up being a LONG list, but I found having something in writing that I could cross off made everything seem more manageable. As far as your fiance, we have been trying to make all of our decision making processes fun. Almost doing them as date nights. We made dinner one night and sat down with a bottle of wine and decided on food. We went out and tasted cakes another day and grabbed tea at a cafe after to make a decision. We went venue hunting and then did some window shopping in the area. We went to the mall on a hunt for bridesmaids/groomsmen gift and turned it in to a competiion of who could find a better deal on something, etc. Turning each decision into a “date night” almost for the two of us reduced the stress levels for both of us and really helped getting the fiance involved.
So my advice is: relax, make a list, and turn to your fiance for support (that’s why you’re marrying him after all). And when all else fails, open a bottle of wine.
Post # 5
No no, you’re not alone! 🙂 I’m 39 days (eeek!) away from our wedding and I’ve had those moments of feeling my inner bridezilla trying to burst through. From the very beginning of the planning process, I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to let myself get too stressed out over stuff because I’ve been in weddings where the bride was AWFUL, but inevitably, it happens! In those moments, I’ve found that there are 1 of 2 things that I can do to help bring me back to normal: 1. Get alone and quiet and just start prioritizing my list of to-do’s. Once I’ve done so, I talk it out with my mom (who is my unofficial wedding planner!) and she helps calm me down by taking on some of the things on my neverending list and by always saying “Not a problem! We’ll get it done!” – she’s so precious! – or 2. Doing something that has absolutely NOTHING to do with our wedding! This usually involves time with my girlfriends, wine (I’m right there with you on that one!), working on our house, etc. Just anything to get my mind off of the planning for just a little bit.
There is definitely an isolation aspect to it because in a way, you are alone, but that is one of the reasons I spend so much time on here looking through threads and posting advice requests because on here I’m not alone at all! We’re all in the same boat. Deep breaths! 🙂 Everything will work out perfectly!
Post # 6
I hit this same “wall” on Sunday, and I just felt so frustrated, sad and alone. I actually don’t talk about my wedding to many people, mostly my FI. It’s a lot of stress, I’ve been going to the gym and drinking rum and cokes to get me through. I haven’t given in to my inner “bridezilla”. I actually have to fight with my mother to keep my costs down because she is insisting on spending more money on my wedding. At the end of my day I just needed a hug from my FI. It helped a lot!
Post # 7
I’ve had bridezilla hits the fan moments too. We are almost 4 months out and it’s quite terrifying to see how soon it is!
Hang in there!
Post # 8
Aug 17th and I don’t have a caterer. His parents are helping with it and they don’t get home till April – I AM FREAKIN OUT! eeeeeeeeep!
I feel like I can’t do anything till then so my wall is not even self imposed…
Post # 9
i’ve felt alone several times in planning my wedding, you aren’t alone!!
Post # 10
I think I’ve finally hit that wall too!! We’re 102 days until the wedding (OMG) and I’m full time student-teaching/finishing up my master’s degree in May (about a month before the wedding). With everything that I have to do between school AND the wedding, it’s really gotten to me in the last week or so that I have SO MUCH left to do.
I could have written that sentence about being sensitive to all the requests! I feel the same way and my fiance said to me today that he’s noticed whenever we talk about wedding stuff in the last two or so weeks, I’m always annoyed. I think that means I need to regroup and try to hand stuff off to people or just do what others have said and try to prioritize a little more. I think it’s hard when it starts to become all you or your family & friends talk about too. Could you hand something off for your family to do, or your bridesmaids??
Post # 11
Ladies, Thank you all!!! This has helped me in a major way. I almost let all this anxiety take away from the excitement I’m feeling. The FI is sooo amazing. Yesterday we did something fun…got in a little honeymoon shopping (for clothes, etc) and then had dinner! Nothing a good ole’ beer with your FI and some basketball. We also went to pick up our wedding bands! So, that definitely provided a much needed injection of the “fun stuff” and here I am…so excited all over again! What I came away with is that 1) not everyone will be nearly as excited about our wedding day as we will…and that’s totally fine! It’s our day. 2) as long as he’s at the end of the aisle, everything else is water under the bridge. If my wedding is half as good as my relationship, then I’m a happy girl!
“I want a marriage more beautiful than my wedding!”… (stolen from Pinterest)
Cheers to all the 2013 Brides… *esp the August ones*