I've never been so happy and yet so sad. (vent)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3341 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Meh… My DH showed literally everyone the ring before he proposed (all of our friends and family). When I told people about the engagement everyone was like “oh yeah I know he told me!” He’s really bad at keeping secrets, so I guess it was his way to keep himself from telling me. The only people who didn’t already know I was engaged were my coworkers.

 

I would just try to let it go. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it now and bringing it up will taint a happy time. They are all probably just super excited! Try not to let it get you down!

 

and congratations!

 

Post # 4
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Yes you are.

Why do you think she told everyone and showed everyone the ring – BECAUSE SHE IS EXCITED FOR YOU! How nice to have in-laws who are bursting at the seems to tell everyone about you becoming a part of their family!

Perhaps it wasn’t how you envisioned telling everyone but it was nice all the same. They will be just as excited for you at your shower and the actual wedding. There will be time to gush over dresses and flowers and do all the other things that you are dieing to do. 

Plus, can you imagine them knowing that he was going to propose and then waiting for a week without any news?! How awful! They might have thought that you had said no! Much better that they find out the good news asap.

Let it go and enjoy surprising your own family with the news. 

Post # 5
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

When dh asked my parents for permission my mom got so excited she tried on my ring!

I would choose to focus on the positive:obviously his family loves you and is very excited for you. That’s a great thing! And congrats 🙂

Post # 6
Member
2305 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think it’s sweet that he was so excited that he told people about the proposal before it happened- everyone is excited for you!

You had a lovely proposal; I think you should try to let it go and just enjoy how happy everyone is on your behalf right now. 🙂

My proposal from DH was a total surprise in front of a TON of our friends and family, so literally EVERYONE knew about it before I did. My family knew, his family knew, all of our friends knew- I was literally the last person to find out. But it was so sweet that he wanted me to be able to share our proposal with my closest friends and loved ones.

Post # 7
Member
5204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

That was kind of lame of them to do, you shouldn’t go spreading other people’s news before they give you the go ahead.

But I’m sure it was well intentioned.  It’s a wonderful thing to have people who are excited for you.  Have a vent then let it go.

Post # 9
Member
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I understand you. When FI and I were talking about getting engaged, I told him not to tell everyone. He could obviously tell some (I wouldn’t expect him to keep it a complete secret) but that I wanted to tell people as well

A couple friends knew and his parents and my dad knew.

We got to make an announcement to my friends, my mom, and our brothers.

Luckily, no one he told blabbed about it. I would have been annoyed about it too.

Post # 10
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@DuckyPDuckerson:  His parents, sister, and BIL all guessed ahead of time because the ring was shipped to their house and he did a bad job pretending it was something else. My parents knew because he called my dad the night before to ask him first, and my dad texted my mom (she was at a cottage – seriously though what a thing to do via text) and told her. So like 6 people knew ahead of time, we visited both our parents and siblings that weekend, visited my grandparents to tell them, called our friends, told our coworkers on the Monday, and then posted it on Facebook. Everyone was very happy for us, and I don’t care that some people knew ahead of time. So, in summary, I do think you are overreacting a little.

Post # 11
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Everyone’s happy for you, don’t let this get to you. Just be happy and move on.

Post # 12
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

There are definitely worse problems to have than having a whole family of people who are so excited for you they can’t keep their mouths shut. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m assuming that you do still have your own people you can tell who don’t know and can be excited. A lot of our family knew, I think that’s pretty normal when a guy is close with his family! In fact we were on family vacation and my MIL carried my ring like the entire trip. They all were waiting for us when we got back to the hotel. Didn’t bother me at all.

Post # 14
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@DuckyPDuckerson:  Ya you’re overreacting but I would be the exact same way.  I really don’t like when people know things about me before I do! It just rubs me the wrong way.  Irrational maybe but that’s just the way I am! So ya you’re allowed to be a bit upset, but just keep it to yourself 🙂

And congratulations!!!!

 

 

Post # 15
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

My FH told my BFF exactly when he was going to ask. She was literally staring at her phone when I called.

He got to tell his family and friends. Did you get to tell yours?

I think telling my parents was the best!

Post # 16
Member
2895 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s a bit of an over reaction, but I understand where you are coming from.  He bought the ring with me in the room.  We told our parents and a few close friends right away, with the caviet of “we don’t have the ring yet, and we are not going to anounce our engagement until the ring is in.”   I wanted to start working on wedding planning because there were very few dates that worked for my family, and I knew the venue and church I wanted filled up fast.

My parents kept a secret.  My cousin even asked them durring the two weeks we asked them to keep it quiet, and they were “Oh, it may be coming soon.”

His parents told EVERYONE!  It really wasn’t a suprise anymore.  It was okay though, in the end.  Just not going to ask them to keep many big secrets in the future.

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