(Closed) I’ve never been the center of attention…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

Oh, I totally get feeling this way! My worries about being the center of attention accounted for, at least in part, my original desire to elope. But hang in there! It does get better!

First of all, are you having a bridal shower? Because those are a great opportunity to get a feel for being the center of attention. I was actually more worried about the shower than the wedding because I had to do it alone. But it helped to remember that everyone was there for me because they loved me and wanted to celebrate my upcoming marriage. And that really set me at ease and made the whole experience more wonderful.

As for the wedding, I cannot stress this enough: focus on your new husband. Seriously. When you think about all the people around you, watching you, focusing on you, it’s easy to start stressing and worrying and forget what the day is really about: you and your hubby. Keep him close by your side as much as possible. Hold his hand and stop to look into his eyes every now and then. Whisper “I love you” and remember that you’re doing this with him. You’re not alone–you’re in it together. And even if there are a lot of other people around you, when you focus on him, you will hardly remember or worry about any of them.

And lastly, if you have more than 20 people at your wedding, odds are that most of the night, they won’t be 100% focused on you. They’ll be chatting with other guests. They’ll be finding their tables and getting drinks. They’ll be dancing with their own SOs or hitting up the photo booth. Yes, you’ll still be the center of attention, but it’s not like all your guests will be lined up to scrutinize your every move. They’re there to celebrate and have a great time, so don’t worry about them being there for you on your big day!

Most of all, just relax and enjoy your day. You’ll love it! πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

The ceremony’s easy because that’s just between you, your FI and the person officiating, and the guests have to sit there and shut up. For the rest of the wedding, always travel around the room with a drink in your hand – it gives you something to do with your hands so you don’t feel as conspicuous. Escape whenever you can for a bit of a breather.

Your guests will do most of the talking for you (ours gushed on and on about every little thing), so as long as you can produce a winning smile and a gracious thank you whenever it’s called for, you’ll be fine. It’s “thank you” autopilot, really. At my wedding, people could have told me that Lady Gaga was riding on a moose outside the window and I probably would have beamed and said, “Thank you so much!” People won’t expect much else from you, they know it’s overwhelming.

Post # 5
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@agirlwithdreams7: I can 100% relate to you.  No one ever cared much about me and things going on in my life.  Little to no friends (I swear I’m not a loser!) and all those other things you mentioned. I am so nervous about the big day and it’s a year away.  I feel like I am going to shy away so I hope the drinks will loosen me up a bit!

I wish I had advice, but I am always here if you need someone to talk to!

Post # 6
Member
3801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve always been a quiet person, with a few friends, but growing up I played a lot of instruments and was a gymnast, so I have a lot of confidence performing something, but I find myself getting scared when I think of walking down an asile and reciting vows in front of a lot of people. I think this is a totally normal feeling that you are having. I actually have gotten so scared when I think about our wedding that I feel like I could faint! We actually talked about having immediate family only at our ceremony b/c I was that scared.

If anyday is the day to be the center of attention, it is your wedding day. You will look your best and you are marrying someone you love more than anyone else! I’m sure most brides have some sort of anxiety. Just try to remember that although people might not have given you a ton of attention before, at your wedding, it will be different. People are there BECAUSE they are excited and happy for you. I bet once the party gets started and you realize this, you will be comfortable and have a great time.

 

Post # 7
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m the same way but I’m actually excited to be the center of attention on this one day of my life.  People will (hopefully) be thinking positive and in good moods.  Plus, during the ceremony, you will be focused on your FI most likely.

Post # 8
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I was MOH for one of my best friends who is very similar in character to what you are describing about herself…as nervous as she was, when the day came she just kind of naturally went into “Bride-mode”

I asked her later how she felt and told her how great she was- social, gracious, etc. She told me that there is something about the energy of that day- the adrenaline, the nerves…and you just kind of adapt.

I hope its this way for you. πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am terrified to be the center of attention at my shower and wedding!  I hate large crowds and we are planning on 140 people!!  I really wanted to elope (I was even willing to bring our immediate families) but FH said how upset everyone would be.

My plan is to keep a slight buzz going for the shower and reception (I’ll have to suck it up for the ceremony).  A little alcohol helps me out….

Post # 11
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@agirlwithdreams7: I’m sure you (and FI) will handle everything beautifully.

My FI is super shy too but we had a huge engagement party and he did well. He just adapted.

Post # 12
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I was really worried about this too, but you know what? Aside from your photographer (even that’s a maybe; ours took plenty of guest photos as we requested), no one else is going to be spending the majority of their time looking at you. Honestly. Parasol is totally correct.

You and your new husband will be the center of the party, but not necessarily the center of attention, and certainly not 100% of the time. People will be meeting up with old friends and relatives at your wedding, and most of their time, they won’t be with you, they’ll be hanging out with their own groups and tables.

I really hope your wedding day is everything you hoped for and more. Ours really was, and all my fears about everyone staring at me just disappeared when I realized they were all really happy for us and excited to share the day with us.

Post # 13
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee

I know exactly how you feel….I almost want to just elope so I don’t have to be in front of everyone. So we’re just having close family/friends. I know I’ll still be nervous, but I figure I’m going to be so focused on my fiancé it won’t matter as much. 

I’m sure you’ll be fine!!! Try to enjoy it πŸ™‚ Focus on him. That always calms me down…just being around him. 

Post # 14
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

First of all, I think you are so super cute for posting this.

Secondly, I know that you’re scared to death to have all eyes on you and it is going to feel a little awkward. However, your friends and family are so happy and excited for you. Especially because the spotlight is never on you, let this day be about you and your FI. It is perfectly okay to have your one day to shine. Believe me, you will be happy you did. (coming from experience)

It was very hard to step back and allow people to “stare” at us all day, however it felt good for us to have come this far.

Post # 16
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

LOL..I know how you feel. I’m almost always akward at family get togethers when there are people I haven’t seen in a long time. Pretty much, the idea of being asked alot of questions congratulated and complimented all day long sounds like my personal hell….but marriage deserves recognition, so I’ll just have to face it and hope for the best!

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