(Closed) I’ve never felt so angry about my beliefs on marraige before.

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Well I can understand where your anger comes from! I get sort of indignant about divorce when its brought up around me because I’m in the thick of thinking about marriage and weddings everyday. It crushes me to think about divorce but it is a scary thing to think about.

Post # 4
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’ve told my Fiance this many, many times that once I’m married…that’s it. The only way I would divorce someone is if they were unfaithful to me. If my Fiance did something that annoyed me, I would talk about it rather then push it deep down inside so i can have something to be mad about.

Post # 5
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

It’s impossible to truly judge what when wrong in a marriage unless you were in it, though. Usually there’s more to the story – and though divorce is always hard on kids, so is having parents who hate each other and stick together “for them.” 

I understand getting upset about family issues, though. It is hard to see your loved ones hurting. 

Post # 7
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

While I understand it’s hard to watch everything unfold in front of your eyes, you did say you don’t actually know what issues your aunt and uncle were dealing with. I think it’s always good to remember in these situations that nobody ever knows what truly goes on inside a relationship, other than the two people involved. I know it’s hard, but I’d try not to get too emotionally involved in this one, because I’m sure it’s hard on everybody. 


Post # 8
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You absolutely need to keep in mind that no one but your aunt and uncle knows what went on between them.

This is something I don’t often share on here, but, I’ve been married before.  He ended up hitting me, and not just once, but many, many times.  Like, left bruises and gave me bloody noses hit me.  When I left, i did so without the support of anyone in my family, because no one believed that he would do something so horrible, and they all took his side.  I didn’t speak to them for months because they were still seeing him at family functions and everything else.  So I moved out of state, and only resumed contact with them when they cut him out. 

So, while I am sorry that you are upset, and I know it’s difficult to watch your family hurting, and even moreso, hurting each other, this is not an issue for you to side against your Aunt over.  I’m sure it’s not easy for her, to be away from one of her children, and I guarantee she knows that the rest of your family is whispering about her behind her back.  Stay out of it.  Give support where it’s needed, but don’t judge or condemn, because that doesn’t help anyone.  Not your Aunt, or Uncle, or their children.

Post # 11
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have witnessed first hand (friends) leave marriages when it seems like they could have been quite easily fixed- they just needed to relight that spark, I know this because these friends have told me all the problems etc… I do believe that too many people give up on their marriages too easily, without even an ounce of a fight, however, saying that- I do believe that some folk just aren’t meant to last, people change….sometimes people never truly knew their partner to begin with (especially if they rush marriage). People are complicated……we are odd creatures. 😛 I personally belive that you should do whatever it takes to fix a broken marriage, but if that fails I believe in going your separate ways, no point in beating a dead horse, right? Who wants to live a miserable existence in a boring, loveless marriage?

You clearly know the situation in regards to your Aunt/Uncle better than any of us here, but I have to agree with some others that you never know what goes on behind closed doors and maybe you’re not being told everything because you are the Niece. Maybe there is stuff you don’t know, maybe there’s not- whatever it is they obviously felt like it was not worth saving the marriage and that’s a very personal decision, not something that everyone may agree with, but at the end of the day they are adults and it’s their business. The children are a whole other story….personally I would have stayed in the same town so I would never have been apart from any of my children, but that’s just me, buta again….we don’t know the whole picture with your Aunt/Uncle.

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