I've never given a blow job… Where to start (embarrassing &TMI)

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
602 posts
Busy bee

Ask him to help you. Go slowly. Talk to each other. Make jokes, laugh…

I was really scared to give my SO a blow job, even though it wasn’t my first time, I had to learn different tactics, cause each guy is different. Ask him what he likes. Don’t worry about not doing it right, and most of all, don’t feel guilty if you can’t get him to finish…

Post # 4
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Allyg:  Just tell him that you want to try it 🙂 Ask him to tell you what feels good and what doesnt, and dont be afraid to feel a little silly and laugh about things 🙂

 

I actually find it arousing for ME when I give HIM a bj. 😛 They are fun 😉

Post # 5
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

When my SO and I started dating I had never given one either. I was extremely nervous when it started coming up in conversation. We hadn’t had sex yet at the time, but he had gone down on me. I think the biggest thing was that if you aren’t comfortable you shouldn’t do it. There were so many times where I almost just sucked it up and did it because I knew he wanted it really badly. It took a few months of “almost” doing it, but one day I actually asked him if he wanted one and was able to comfortably do it. You should wait until YOU are comfortable with it. One day you probably will be. If not, maybe it just isn’t for you!

Post # 6
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Allyg:  I second what Orion’s said. Don’t be scared–I’m sure he’ll either be thrilled or he’s just not interested in them in the first place, which means you don’t have to worry about it!–and be open to suggestions from him. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
602 posts
Busy bee

@MrsRevolutionize:  +1 and thanks. =P

I mean, I was scared enough that I asked him if he would undress for me… I’d just seen him fully naked in the shower for the first time the day before (and this is pretty recent for me, too, extra scary), and he completely obliged with every little detail to keep me calm, and we just talked it through…

I found out that I didn’t even have to actually put his dick in my mouth because the most senitive part was lower down… convenient for me, cause I have a small mouth…

Post # 9
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee

@Orion:  THIS. +1.  Also, OP, I totally get you being nervous. I was also like that and even with my guy now it took me a while and I was a nervous wreck the first time we were together. Shivering and all. Just bad previous experiences and also just a nervous wreck because I know the few guys I’ve been with have been waaay more experimented than me. That doesn’t help with the feeling.  But see, maybe your SO would actually love being the first guy that you have tried that with.  Since he already knows, chances are he is not expecting you to be a professional at it hehe.  

Tell him you want to try but be honest and let him know you don’t even know where to start. That in itself will take a lot of pressure from you. Girl, there is no shame in not knowing.  It just means you haven’t experimented that part with anyone. If anything, it could make for a sweet, special memory for the two of you.  

Just a few tips… TMI warning

Keep teeth from scratching.

Testicles are super sensitive. Meaning, they are good for pleasure but need to be handled with care 😉 Soft caresses and licks are ok. Hard grabbing no no. 

The penis is pretty tough and normaly can handle pretty decent amounts of pressure and grabbing.  You can always use a combination of hand and oral.

Do not go too deep at first. It will probably make you gag and it might not be the best feeling for a first experience.  

And.. as hard as it sounds, try to relax, he will probably go nuts  (pun intended) just with the thought of you going out of your comfort zone and trying it. AND him being the first one. Men trip over this things sometimes lol

Good luck! There is nothing to be afraid of 🙂 

Post # 10
Member
17 posts
Newbee

What part of giving the blow job scares you? Taste, gag reflex, smell? Personally I never found it to be much of a big deal, as far as taste goes its skin. You dont have to you know….drink anything if you dont want to 

i do have a pretty strong gag reflex but you don’t have to go deep or anything either, just giving some playful licks can suffice. For things such as smell you can do it in the shower and they even have “baby” wipes for purposes like this too 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
602 posts
Busy bee

@Allyg:  Good luck! I’m sure it will turn out better than you expect. Just make sure he’s clean first, haha!

Post # 12
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Oh! Some practical tips for you:

I find it nicer to do it if he has just showered.. I have a very sensitive sense of smell I guess, so it couldnt hurt to somehow get him to take an evening shower before you try it.

Also, tell him to warn you (tap you on the head, etc) before he actually comes… Then you can choose what to do. I haven’t ever been able to work up the nerve to actually swallow (I’m scared I’d gag really badly..). I just back up so only the head is in my mouth and then spit into some convienent thingy somewhere nearby… 

He probably would also be just as happy if you just back off and let him come onto his chest or something. 😛

Post # 13
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Okay this post is so TMI but oh well the whole topic is so heres my advice!!!

The key to giving a good bj is teasing! Start kissing his neck then work back up to his lips, then his chest, work back up to his neck and lips, then kiss down to his stomach and back up to his chest, then down to his area, but don’t touch with hands, just your lips and kiss his area, then leave it and go back to his stomach/chest.  repeat his “area” again, etc.  Then start at the tip with your mouth and use that same technique until his entire penis is wet.  I won’t go into much detail after that, but I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it! 

Post # 14
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

Practice on your fingers, even though they’re smaller than a penis, you learn how to position your mouth and how much pressure to use. It will also help you figure out if you have a gag reflex and where it sets off. I don’t have a gag reflex unless I completely block my throat. Just remember that you’ll get better as you become more experienced. My SO hates when I ask him which parts he liked best. He just says, “you’re really good, I’ll just tell you if you do something really weird and I don’t like it. There are tons of techniques, try watching a youtube video or something of someone explaining with a dildo, I think I learned the most by watching a sex information party clip on Real Sex on HBO.

 

Post # 16
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Allyg:  I fully believe its impossible to be bad at giving head. There is no way.

I usually do a combination of oral/hand. It’s easier and gives my mouth and wrist a break. I don’t reccomend swallowing. It tastes terrible. Though I do it cause FI finds it hot. I also make sure he showers before. Just do lots a teasing, sucking licking and up and down movement on the penis and he will come. I guarantee it. Some guys like their balls cupped too, The male g spot is also really sensitive, it’s the spot right behind the balls, but not his ass lol. FI usually likes it when I apply pressure there at the same time.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors