Post # 1
Hello Bees. I have a conundrum.
The FI and I are playing for our wedding. Between his and my family they may gift us the DJ or flowers but not a huge contribution, and this is OK. I’m one of 4 daughters I never expected a free ride and that is fine. We’re not asking for money, they can give it to us if they bring it up. No problem.
SO… our idea is to have the wedding in the off season (January 2015) to cut down on costs. Hopefully the venues and vendors will give us a good deal because they’re not doing a lot in January. [Does everyone think this is true?]
Just to make this a little more difficult the guest list is WAY out of proportion; FYI I’m completely ok with that. Friends: 33, Brides Side: 35, Grooms Side: 74. And again THIS IS OK, I love that I’m marrying into a big family.
Now my FFIL has on several occasions brought up that “a lot” of people won’t come to a wedding in January. This really grinds my gears because it instantly makes me feel like I’m going to be standing alone in a ballroom with food spoiling around me. What I’m trying to figure out is, is he trying to push me around to get us to change our wedding date?
He is of course worried about his relatives. Most live in Florida. However were making sure that travel is well taken care of being it will be winter and I don’t want to risk other New Yorkers lives by putting people from Florida in cars and on roads in the winter (joking… mostly). SO the place we’re 80% sure we’re booking will pick them up from and drop them off at the airport (15-20 min away). [In writing this I realize that he may not know about the shuttle service.]
And maybe it would be ok if a few of them didn’t come. They make up more than Half of the guest list. Having 10-15 people from their side not come would be ok and help costs but if its going to be 30 people not coming then I would rather change the date :The Wedding is in 2015 and we haven’t booked yet. Also because we’re paying for it ourselves we can’t have it before that date (still saving money) so if we didn’t want it in winter we would have to wait until spring.
Pros to moving the date: – More time to save money.
– More people will come.
– We started dating in the spring so our invitations could say “Celebrating a decade together by getting Married!”
Cons to moving the date: – I may have just been bullied into moving my wedding date……
– I want to be married already, we’ve been together for 8 years engaged for 3 NOW! You mean I have to wait another 4 months uuuuuaaaaaaaa……
– Isn’t spring season for weddings again? And won’t costs go up?
Help! Do I go January or Spring?
Post # 3
@ImperialRed: You probably won’t save anything by having your wedding in the off-season, unless you’re getting married in the #1 wedding location in Albany.
I got married in the Finger Lakes Region (so like 2 hours from you), and with the exception of like 3 venues, prices stayed the same year-round.
That being said, if you want to have a winter wedding, have a winter wedding! People have travelled way farther in way worse weather to attend a wedding.
Post # 4
As a January bride, I can say that I have not gotten any discounts due to getting married in the off-season. But I will also say that no one has expressed that they wouldn’t be coming due to the time of year! We made sure to send our STDs early so that everyone could plan their vacation leave accordingly, and it seems to have worked.
But, I think a sentimental date is something important. I love the idea of celebrating 10 years together with a wedding! You should go with the date that you and your fiance want most. Ultimately, people will come, no matter when it is.
Post # 5
@ImperialRed: Some venues are cheaper in off season around here, though I am …you know…fecking far away from you. I know if you do Friday or Sunday you can save, and if you do a luncheon instead of an evening meal/party. So maybe these are things to consider? I think winter weddings where it snows are gorgeous!
Post # 6
I agree with @StuffWithScout: . I didn’t seen any venues discounting because my wedding was in January. There may be florist or cake or caterer discounts, but I don’t know about those because I’m using friends as vendors.
My fiance and I aren’t that sentimental about dates. We were more concerned with the length of the engagment. I would have a chat with your fiance and express all your feelings/concerns. But it should be you two, and only you two, who ultimately decide, especially if the others aren’t paying for the wedding. People who love you will come to see you get married, no matter the time of year.
Post # 7
I don’t know if wedding costs will be lower, but costs for your guests (airfare, hotel) may be lower, and I bet that vendors will have greater availability. Considering that your out of town guests will be able to take a shuttle from the airport, any of them who cite the weather as a reason for not attending are probably not people on whom you would want to spend your wedding fund.
I have a relative who got married in Ohio during the winter. I don’t know what the accept/decline rate was, but a lot of guests attended and everyone had a great time.
Post # 8
Thank you everyone for the tips! I think I am going to move the date because it will give us the freedom to have an outdoor ceremony. AND if my FFIL asks for anything else I can remind him (politely/sweetly) that I moved my wedding date for him 🙂 That should get me out of at least a few “opinions”.