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Hello Everyone!
Nice to meet you all! This is my first post ever! Woot woot!
Anyway my fiance is Japanaese (born and raised in Tokyo)
And out ceremony is next year. His family is flying all the way from
Japan to come to our wedding, and I really would like to incorporate
something Japanese in our wedding for them. I want to enjoy both of our cultures
on our big day...so does anyone have any ideas???
Thanks!!
Hi there :)
My FI is Japanese as well! We're doing the 1001 cranes, kampai toasts, and we may/may not be changing into traditional kimonos during the reception (kimonos are so expensive!)
You could also do the sake ceremony..
And something I found out - a lot of the Japanese traditions are rooted in the Shinto religiion (like the reception clothing changes). My FI's family is buddhist, not Shinto, so not all the traditions can apply.
penga,
Do you mind me asking what exactly is the 1001 kranes meaning?
Also when you say Kampai toast, do you mean you all will just say the traditional japanese phrase "kanpai"? or is there something else to it??
Thanks for your help!!
Hi Osakagrl! I'm so glad someone wrote a post about this.
My FH is half Japanese and I wanted to incorporate some Japanese traditions as well to honor his mom's heritage and also because although his parents were married and lived in Japan for 7 years they did not have a Japanese wedding (his dad was military). We are also doing the 1000 cranes...we made them when we started dating...but I would love to know some other traditions.
@Panga: My FMIL still has her kimono...is it possible your FIL have theirs and you could wear theirs? That would bring extra meaning to wearing them in my opinion. My FMIL is buddhist as well. I did not know that about the traditions. It's amazing the things you find on wedding bee! I've tried to do many searches on Japanese wedding traditions online and they just give you basic information and don't go into much detail about the basis of the traditions.
I too really want to wear a traditional Kimono at the wedding reception.
But I dont want a cheap tourist one.
I might ask further into my family in Japan if anyone has a
kimono that I could wear. I think it would add such a beautiful touch
to the wedding you know?
FI's family is Japanese. We're incorporating a sake ceremony!
I wish my future in laws had kimonos! Actually they said the white kimono (uchikake) was shinto as well, so they didn't want me to do it. And they take forever to put on. But I might look for a simple red one instead.
A shameless plug to my blog, but it's got links to different sources/explanations..
http://wedcon.blogspot.com/2009/10/dream-dress.html (on kimonos)
http://wedcon.blogspot.com/2009/11/bird-is-word.html (on cranes)
The cranes are a good luck symbol, basically. That if you have the patience and drive to do 1000 cranes, you will have similar patience, etc. in your marriage.
And yeah, the kampai thing is simply a toast with a lot of yelling afterwards, hehe. I'm looking foward to it! :D
One thing you can do if you want to see what's hip & cool in the Japanese wedding industry is find a local Japanese bookstore and pick up some magazines. I don't know if there's a Kinokinoya up in Sacto, but there's one in SF Japantown that has some. Apparently big poofy dresses are all the rage. hehe.
Here's another link that's pretty useful too- http://www.japanvisitor.com/index.php?cID=359&pID=1467
@panga: Thanks for all the info and the link to your blog resources! I'm definetly going to check them out. I know my FH is only half Japanese but I find it so interesting and his mom is too cute for words. When I first met her he was like "my mom is so cute you'r gonna wanna stick her in your pocket and take her home with you" since she's so tiny. He has such a love for his mommy :)
penga,
thank you so much for the links! I really appreciate it! I will look at
them when i get home from work as I can not view them on my computer here.
Ooooh I think maybe the thousand cranes idea is really cute! Maybe we could them across the tables for our guests or something!
Oh yes ! I know all about Kimokuniya, I think thats a great idea! The only thing is japanese really love looking like princesses on their wedding day. Tiara, poofy dress, etc. I absoloutely DESPISE that! hahaha
I already bought my wedding dress so thats not an issue!
Do you guys know of anywhere in N. California that might sell kimonos?? SO HARD!!
:(
Also, I dont know what you are doing at your wedding, but my in laws speak no english. I speak Japanese decently. But I thought it would be sweet if i wrote a speech to them in 100% Japanese. wish me luck!! Im going to be so nervous im afraid my tongue will get tied!!
@sanddollar - haha! love it!
Another thing I remembered that we're doing is incorporating FI's family mon (kamon/family crest) into our overall wedding designs. Your FIs probably have them as well, they are pretty cool! :) Some people even mount their cranes into the shape of their mon, but since my cranes are stupid colors, I'm not going to do it..haha
@osaka - That's so awesome you can speak it! FI won't even let me try learning, lol. He says I butcher the words too much.
There's a kimono shop in Japantown that's got a white uchikake for $200...I soooo wanted to buy it but FI said no :P If I do buy a kimono it'll probably come from there though, the prices were reasonable. (and I don't know where else you can get them..) I've heard rumors that you can rent them, but I'm not sure if its true. Here's the link to the store: http://www.asakichi.com/kimono.htm
WOW!~ I just realised how much i murdered the english (and Japanese!) language in my last post! sorry!! so many spelling errors!!
@Osakagrl: so awesome that you know Japanese. Completely jealous :)
@penga: My FH is the same way with learning Japanese. I would love to learn -at least some words. His mom tried to raise them bilingual but his older brother went to school using the Japanese words for things he didn't know in English and the teacher told his mom NOT to teach them Japanese...who does that?! So she stopped. His sister took Japanese in HS, (even took a school trip there and got to meet their aunt) but his mom has a hard time understanding her because of it being a different dialect.
I started learning Japanese by myself well before I met my Fiance. Actually we have kind of a weird situation. I love speaking Japanese together and he loves speaking english! so its not uncommon for us to be in public and i speak in japanese to him (im white) and he replies in english! I think it has to look silly! But oh well.
My In laws speak NO english so I am so happy that I can communicate with them. Otherwise it would be really hard!!!
Hmmm I want to look into rentals. Ill probably come up short but oh well!!
Sanddollar- WHO tells someone to stop teaching their children their native language? SO RUDE! I would have told her to shove it where the sun dont shine!
Actually- QUESTION! when you gals do decide to have kids...do you want your kids to learn Japanese? My Fiance and I agreed that We will not be allowed to speak english at home and they can speak english out in public. Its really important to us that our kids speak Japanese.
@sanddollar - wow, what a horrible teacher! That would make me so mad.
My FI speaks Japanese okay for an American, but when he goes to Japan he says people stare at him like he's mentally handicapped until he starts speaking english. :P
@All: I know! FH is from the 'city' and that school is not the best academically...my mom cringed when she found out he went to school there...I think if his mom knew better she sould have just continued to teach them and I get the feeling she regrets it now.
If we knew Japanese we would be teaching our children. I want our kids to use the Japanese version of grandma/grandpa for his parents for sure and whatever other words they can pick up from FMIL would be awesome. She is so cute...out of nowhere the other day she started singing some song in Japanese. FH's nephew was like "why you doing that" He's only 3.
Are you bees going to name your kids something in Japanese? We have a girls name picked out and FH used his favorite boys name for our one pup, but we want our kids to have at least one Japanese name.
I'll probably send my future kids to Japanese school to learn the basics, but other than buzzwords (food, people and one-word phrases), it probably won't be spoken at home since I'm not fluent. They'll probably have Japanese middle names :)
I am going to continue to study Japanese hardcore so that I can keep up when we speak Japanese at home. its a lot of work but not only will it benefit them but also myself!! : )
I want to name our children something Japanese but for a girl I am really leaning towards Sophie or Audrey (I am in LOVE with Audrey Hepburn!!! Our first dance will actually be Moon River sung by Audrey ^^ )
We both LOVE the name Midori for a girl. Her middle name would be Kaye since it is both mine and my mom's middle names...kinda a tradition. I want to paint her room green, brown and ivory. And I also love the name Midori because of Midori Ito and her role in figure skating which was my sport.
FH named our male pup Kenji. I don't know why he didn't want to save it for our child but I think he was just super excited to name something all by himself.
Hahaha thats funny ! Because we had talked about naming our girl CHLOE and we ended up naming our new kitten Chloe! hahaha
Midori is so cute! I love how japanese add little additions to the end of names so you can call her Midori-chan! how adorable!!
too cute!
When I younger I wanted to name my first daughter Cookie or my poodle, whichever came first. The poodle came first so at 11 I named her Cookie...now I'm so glad I had my Cookie (she passed away in Jan) because that poor child! Imagine the teasing
Midori is a cute name :)
I'm totally adding the "ichi" to my first born kid's name. FI's grandfather's name was Kiichi, so I was thinking something similar, like Keichi (Kiichi seems like it would be easily mispronounced..).
My FMIL name is Katsuko...it always get's mispronounced.
I like changing the name Kiichi to Keichi for pronouncation purposes. It's still basically the same but people (english speaking) will be able to pronounce it better.
My name ALWAYS gets mispronounced and I don't think it is difficult at all! People never say it right and that this point in my life I'm like whatever and don't correct, but when I was younger I would get irritated. My mom used to write a pronounciation key for my skating competitions so they would say it right.
My FMIL name is Setsuko
FFIL name is Yoshimitsu.
EVERYONE messes it up.
Inlcuding my fiances name. (Shinnosuke) they always pronounce it (Shin-Noh-Su-Key) which is completely wrong haha
I don't know hwo well recieve this will be by a traditional Japanese family...but for a modern take of a kimono!
image from Wedding Nouveau
This is an awesome thread! I am half Japanese and really want to incorporate Japanese traditions into my ceremony but I don't think the FI really wants to. I may have to throw a few things in though! And Midori is an absolutely beautiful name. But I met someone with the name Midori Green and she wasn't Japanese and that just turned me off to that name. I mean Midori Green??? Seriously? I also wanted to name a child Sakura because I love cherry blossoms but not so sure about that one either. I just LOVE Japanese names. My grandmother and her sisters all have beautiful Japanese names.
BTW, you should totally try getting a kimono. I have one and it's absolutely gorgeous and yes, they are a total pain to put on but totally worth it.
ANd I wish I knew Japanese but my grandmother claims she doesn't remember any of it and she never taught my father.
Midori Green? Seriously? It's like naming your kid Green Green.
At least our kids will have some Japanese in them so such a name wont be out of place. I hope they look asian. FH's nephew is 1/4 asian (his dad is half african american) but his nephew looks very asian, his skin is just a little darker than everyone elses. I know the asian gene is very strong and usually shines through.
I know, right Midori Green. Yeah, when my brother and I were little, people would always ask my mom if we were adopted if she wasn't with my dad, too. Now, though we don't really look too Asian. We don't look caucasian but we don't really look Asian, either.
wow so excited to see this thread!!!! I am a japanese born and raised in Japan married to an American. We had a wedding in September and my family flew from Japan for it. so it's the same situation as your fiance:)
Wearing Kimono is a really good idea but it's not something easy to get dressed. Usually you have to have somebody who knows how. Getting dressed by yourself is really hard and you need a lot of practice... but you should ask your FMIL if she knows how and I'm pretty sure she or some family member (especially Grandma!!) own some kimonos. I didn't wear one for our wedding but when we were still in Japan, my husband and I both dressed up in kimono and had pictures taken. Everybody who sew the pics loved them!!
For the wedding I made a lot of cranes ( i didn't count how many...) and hung them from trees for ceremony. I also DIYed all the paper things (like menu cards, welcome messages...etc) and put English and Japanese because my family don't speak English. Our speech were made in both English and Japanese too.
I just wanted to make sure they wouldn't feel like they were outsiders!!
Aya-san!
Omedetou Gozaimasu!! Your wedding looks beautiful!
Its so nice to see another International couple <3
I really want a kimono for the reception...but my fiance always says,
"eh?! Kimono!? mendokusai nah...iranai iranai..."
Hahaha, Although I would love to wear it, I honestly dont want to
burden my in laws with getting me into a kimono. and also making my guest wait.
I just want everyone to enjoy. So maybe next year when we go to Japan we will just take pictures there like you did ^^
I really want to steal your idea for paper kranes for the wedding...hehe
Not Japanese at all here, neither is my FI
However, my DREAM is to go to Japan...I really hope I can one day. There is just something about Japanese art/culture/fashion...everything, I love!
Let's see:
Daigaku de, Nihongo wo benkyoushimashita. Watashi no sensei no namae wa Tawa sensei deshita. Nihongo no kurasu wa totemo tanoshikatta desu. Demo, ima, watashi no Nihongo wa jyouzu ja nai. Soshite, kanji o kaku, omoimasen.
I'm sure a few things were wrong in there...especially the last sentence. lol
daijobou desu yo! watashi mo, jozu ja arimasen! Zan nen desu ne....demo mutto obenkyoo shimasu! watashi no mother in law ha ne....eigo zen zen wakadimasen, dakara watashi ha nihongo obenkyoo shimasu. watashi ha katakana to hiragana dekiru, demo kanji zen zen wakanai...dekinaiiiii!!!
Japan is really fun to visit : )
I just got back last month. Now that we are married we will probably end up going every year~
Lol...oh man, I don't understand a lot of that. Let's see...I think you said:
That's pretty good! I'm also not that great at Japanese! ????...but I studied a lot of Japanese. My mother in law is so so in understanding English, that's why I studied Japanese. I know katakana and hiragana, but I'm so so at understanding Kanji....I can't!
lol. What are the parts I missed/corrections?
I think I can pretty much read/write all hiragana, and most katakana. I remember only a bit of Kanji...but most of it is pretty complicated, and if you do not practice it, you're bound to forget!
Its Ok! Dont worry! Im not very skilled at Japanese either! To bad huh...but i am going to study Japanese more!! My mother in law speaks NO ENGLISH AT ALL! (T__T) So I need to study Japanese. I can write in hiragana and katakana- BUT I dont understand kanji at all! I cant do it!!
(translation)
hehe very good!
lol...I'm surprised I'm pretty close.
I studied it for 3 semesters in college, and graduated 3 years ago, and haven't practiced since!
I gotta remember zen zen is AT ALL!
I wish I could practice more..I should. Its just soo cool!!!!!
I remember Tawa sensei made us memorize a song in Japanese in class...so I can sing all of Kyu Sakamoto's "Ue o Muite Aruko". Its such a cute song!
And while I was taking Japanese I became obsessed with Ayumi Hamasaki. Kanojo wa kawaii desu!
ohhh you dont even know! I self taught myself Japanese BUT i love Japanese music. I LOVE LOVE LOVE ANGELA AKI! LOOOOVE! and Hirai Ken!
We are going to be playing both artists at our wedding : )
@ayayaya: Your wedding looks like a dream! Love the way the cranes are on the trees! (FMIL already had us string all of yours together. She never made all 1000, ~500 and donated them when she was still in Japan, so she was super excited when we did and you could tell she was touched)
@luli & osakagrl: So whish I knew how to read and write at least some like the two of you! Also, my FMIL's english isn't that great either. She can speak it rather well and acts like she can understand you, but when we got engaged I found out that she cannot read English nor does she understand it very well despite being here for ~27-28 years! Boy did she ever have me fooled!!!
Yeah one of the best things japanese can do is ACT like they know EXACTLY what your talking about but in reality have no idea. Please dont let my secret be known but I do the same things sometimes. I just simply look surprised and say "Ah sou desu ka! naruhodo ne!" (trans: Ah! is that so? I see....)
Works almost EVERYTIME! hahaha
im terrible!
PS -- when is everyones wedding date??? I wanna see pictures!!
yeah, Sandollar... Japanese is a very interesting language! Its very very structured...so you can get the hang kind of quick. Except..theres sooooooooooo much to learn/memorize!
but yeah, it sucks because I don't have any Japanese friends, and none of my family is Japanese...both our families speak Spanish and English...so those are the only things we speak.
If I actually had someone who could speak it that I could practice with..it would be so much better!
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