(Closed) Japanese Wedding Traditions?

posted 8 years ago in East Asian
Post # 3
Member
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu

Hi there πŸ™‚

My FI is Japanese as well! We’re doing the 1001 cranes, kampai toasts, and we may/may not be changing into traditional kimonos during the reception (kimonos are so expensive!)

You could also do the sake ceremony..

And something I found out – a lot of the Japanese traditions are rooted in the Shinto religiion (like the reception clothing changes). My FI’s family is buddhist, not Shinto, so not all the traditions can apply.

Post # 5
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hi Osakagrl! I’m so glad someone wrote a post about this.

My FH is half Japanese and I wanted to incorporate some Japanese traditions as well to honor his mom’s heritage and also because although his parents were married and lived in Japan for 7 years they did not have a Japanese wedding (his dad was military). We are also doing the 1000 cranes…we made them when we started dating…but I would love to know some other traditions.

@Panga: My FMIL still has her kimono…is it possible your FIL have theirs and you could wear theirs? That would bring extra meaning to wearing them in my opinion. My FMIL is buddhist as well. I did not know that about the traditions. It’s amazing the things you find on wedding bee! I’ve tried to do many searches on Japanese wedding traditions online and they just give you basic information and don’t go into much detail about the basis of the traditions.

Post # 7
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

FI’s family is Japanese.  We’re incorporating a sake ceremony!

Post # 8
Member
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu

I wish my future in laws had kimonos! Actually they said the white kimono (uchikake) was shinto as well, so they didn’t want me to do it. And they take forever to put on. But I might look for a simple red one instead.

A shameless plug to my blog, but it’s got links to different sources/explanations..

http://wedcon.blogspot.com/2009/10/dream-dress.html (on kimonos)

http://wedcon.blogspot.com/2009/11/bird-is-word.html (on cranes)

The cranes are a good luck symbol, basically. That if you have the patience and drive to do 1000 cranes, you will have similar patience, etc. in your marriage. 

And yeah, the kampai thing is simply a toast with a lot of yelling afterwards, hehe. I’m looking foward to it! πŸ˜€

One thing you can do if you want to see what’s hip & cool in the Japanese wedding industry is find a local Japanese bookstore and pick up some magazines. I don’t know if there’s a Kinokinoya up in Sacto, but there’s one in SF Japantown that has some. Apparently big poofy dresses are all the rage. hehe.

Here’s another link that’s pretty useful too- http://www.japanvisitor.com/index.php?cID=359&pID=1467

Post # 9
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@panga: Thanks for all the info and the link to your blog resources! I’m definetly going to check them out. I know my FH is only half Japanese but I find it so interesting and his mom is too cute for words. When I first met her he was like “my mom is so cute you’r gonna wanna stick her in your pocket and take her home with you” since she’s so tiny. He has such a love for his mommy πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu

@sanddollar – haha! love it!

Another thing I remembered that we’re doing is incorporating FI’s family mon (kamon/family crest) into our overall wedding designs.  Your FIs probably have them as well, they are pretty cool! πŸ™‚  Some people even mount their cranes into the shape of their mon, but since my cranes are stupid colors, I’m not going to do it..haha

@osaka – That’s so awesome you can speak it! FI won’t even let me try learning, lol. He says I butcher the words too much. 

There’s a kimono shop in Japantown that’s got a white uchikake for $200…I soooo wanted to buy it but FI said no πŸ˜›  If I do buy a kimono it’ll probably come from there though, the prices were reasonable. (and I don’t know where else you can get them..)  I’ve heard rumors that you can rent them, but I’m not sure if its true. Here’s the link to the store: http://www.asakichi.com/kimono.htm

Post # 13
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Osakagrl: so awesome that you know Japanese. Completely jealous πŸ™‚

@penga: My FH is the same way with learning Japanese. I would love to learn -at least some words. His mom tried to raise them bilingual but his older brother went to school using the Japanese words for things he didn’t know in English and the teacher told his mom NOT to teach them Japanese…who does that?! So she stopped. His sister took Japanese in HS, (even took a school trip there and got to meet their aunt) but his mom has a hard time understanding her because of it being a different dialect.

 

Post # 15
Member
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu

@sanddollar – wow, what a horrible teacher! That would make me so mad. 

My FI speaks Japanese okay for an American, but when he goes to Japan he says people stare at him like he’s mentally handicapped until he starts speaking english. πŸ˜›

Post # 16
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@All: I know! FH is from the ‘city’ and that school is not the best academically…my mom cringed when she found out he went to school there…I think if his mom knew better she sould have just continued to teach them and I get the feeling she regrets it now.

If we knew Japanese we would be teaching our children. I want our kids to use the Japanese version of grandma/grandpa for his parents for sure and whatever other words they can pick up from FMIL would be awesome. She is so cute…out of nowhere the other day she started singing some song in Japanese. FH’s nephew was like “why you doing that” He’s only 3.

Are you bees going to name your kids something in Japanese? We have a girls name picked out and FH used his favorite boys name for our one pup, but we want our kids to have at least one Japanese name.

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