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Could you ask his family for some example pictures from past receptions like this one? That might give you more of a guide as to what's expected. Either way, JCrew dresses are gorgeous and I am sure you can find a way to dress them "up" also.
I LOVE J. Crew wedding dresses, and think you could really dress one up with a statement necklace :) Be true to yourself!
Normally I'd agree with pp, and say to go for the JCrew gown, but if your MIL is wearing a custom, floor length, beaded gown?!? No way - go big, and wear your formal gorgous gown. 
Although, I'm assuming that you have another dress that you wore to your actual wedding. If that's not the case, and you'll be purchasing something for this anyhow, then go for the JCrew. My only thought is that you don't want to be one of the more casual ones there.
Wearing the dress from the wedding is out. Grass stains, rips, etc. LOL. I really lived it up! I have no choice left but to purchase a new gown.
I guess I'll have to think some more...but its good to get positive responses both ways! I do agree that its important to be "true to yourself." I still get to be the bride one more time! I might as well look like ME!
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I'm searching for a gown for my hubby's and my wedding celebration we are doing in his home country. We already had our main wedding over here in the US in August, and are heading over there for this wedding after party in May. I have no control over the festivities over there, except for what I wear. It looks my MIL booked a huge banquet hall with a fog/snow/confetti/sparkler machine for their closest 300 friends and family. This is not really my taste, but I am game for anything, since this is his family's tradition. :-)
That said, I was originally thinking that I wanted to wear one of those J.Crew wedding gowns. I wanted something that looks more like a "reception" dress and a destination dress than a formal wedding dress since I already got married over here. However, I don't know if that would end up looking too informal in this huge banquet hall with strobe lights...lol. To make it more confusing, my MIL is getting a custom made, floor length beaded gown for this, and DH immediate female cousins will all be wearing floor length evening gowns. However, the other 285 guests there could be wearing anything from "Sunday Best" to their jeans!
What do you think? If I wear a simple and classic J.Crew dress, will it not be formal enough for this? I'm just so very lost...