petty i know!!!!! but does anyone else ever get a bit down when all the girls working around you gets flowers sent to work and you dont?... only thing that really bothered me, was that in front of everyone someone had to say "oh he didnt get you flowers like everyone else?"... im sure he has something planned tonight when he gets off work and he's bought me flowers plenty times before but i dont know, just kinda bummed me out..... childish i know, just wanted to vent for a sec
Eh, my DH is not the type to think or spend the money to send me flowers at work. Nor does even have the address for work. I find it not a big deal. Other than just have to roll my eyes at the women who flaunt the fact omg their whatever sent them flowers...
I've been on both sides of this issue.
My Ex-H used to often send me Flowers to the office for Valentines Day... it was his BIG SHOW that he did at least once a year.
It was certainly nice... if not a tad embarrassing at times.
BUT in reality, I had a very sh!tty marriage with the man... he was an abusive alcoholic. Period.
So what goes on in public, and what goes on behind closed doors can be two very different things !!
This time round,
I am married to a very sweet sensitive, loving & caring person in Mr TTR.
And guess what... he hates holidays like Valentine's Day... he calls them "Hallmark Holidays" because they are made-up occasions.
So unless he is in some wacky mood... there will be NO Card, NO Flowers, NO Dinner Out for me.... today.
But ya know it is ok... because in the end he loves me very very much, and shows that to me each and every day (as he says he doesn't need a special occasion to do that)
I am a very well treated, well-gifted (surprise flowers, surprise cards, surprise jewellery etc) and WELL LOVED gal.
So no complaints here !!
Something to think about... just because there are flowers, and a BIG SHOW on a particular day when lots of people are paying attention doesn't mean there is LOVE in paradise.
It is what a man does when no one is looking that matters more.
Hope this helps,
I dunno, I don't need to show off how in love we are by him wasting money on having flowers delivered to me where everybody can see. Honestly, I don't even like him buying flowers this particular day because prices are jacked up. I drive by a florist every morning that sells a dozen roses for $9.99, and this morning, they'd just hand scribbled on a piece of paper a "2" in front of it. Makes me roll my eyes. i'd rather he pick them up at random when I need a lift.
Im sort of weird about this kind of stuff. On the one hand I think to myself "well why don't I get flowers damn it!" but the reality of it is, I don't personally like stuff like that. So I know it doesn't happen because SO knows what counts with me and what is going to just make me squirmy and uncomfortable. It's one of those things that sounds good in theory and looks good for other people but if it were to happen to me I would react oddly to it. Im a strange bird. But in some weird way, yes I kind of wish things like that were done for me and that I was good at accepting it without being weird.
One of the admin in my office said that if you dont get flowers or something comparable delivered to work then he doesn't love you.....I told her that he loves me enough to know I would kill him if he did. I'm not knocking them or anything, but we share finances and I would rather that money towards something else!
I would rather come home to flowers than know my SO spent $15 or more on shipping!! I used to get a bit jealous when I was single but definitely not when I'm in a relationship =)
@cdenise89: It's not THAT great to get flowers at work. I mean I wouldn't complain, but it's such a cliche gesture. It's nicer when the flowers come to the office on a day that isn't Feb. 14.
It was bitchy of that girl to say anything. I would have a comeback ready in case someone else comments. Like "oh, my man is a lot more original than that!".
I got flip flops and a hoody that I picked out myself LOL. I wasn't expecting anything, but I wanted these items and he said I should buy them and he'll take care of it. I thought that was a sweet gesture!
@SapphireSun: I'm with you. I would definitely rather recieve flowers on some random day when I'm feeling blue than on a day that isnt really specialy because everyone feels like they "have to" send flowers.
thanks guys, i know its so childish of me to feel that way, but i just had to vent a bit... i feel better now... and you guys are right, i guess i'd rather him use that money to pay our credit card off instead of wasting it on flowers or chocolate or something
I don't think ot really matters what other couples do, if getting flowers at work is important to you then you need to talk to your SO about how you feel and what you expect.
Honestly, I think it's kind of rude and ostentatious to send flowers to someone at work. It's like the whole purpose is to show off for other people. I'd much rather come home to find flowers than have them delivered to my work. It would be more special, romantic, and meaningful because it's shared between the two of us.
@cdenise89: I got flowers at work only once in the 5 years I've been dating Fi. :D It was really nice when it hapened but I haven't really expected a valentine or anniversary present since.
Meh. FI has done it a few times in the 4 years we've been dating. A few times it was embarrassing because the display was so large, so when people came in my office to ask a question - BOOYAH! BAM! LOOK AT MY FLOWERS MY MAN GOT ME! Ughhh. -_- lol.
Don't worry about it. V-Day kind of forces people to be overly romantic. I told FI to hold off on the flowers because I'd rather have more money for the wedding. I'm sure your FI is the same way. :)
I'm personally a fan of the saying, "If you need to be reminded once a year to do something nice for your SO, then you're doing something wrong."
FI doesn't get me flowers on Valentine's Day, but he does make me coffee in the morning. He does cook me dinner/breakfast/packs me lunch. He does call me "Beautiful" and lets me watch my girly shows/movies with (almost) no complaint :)
Nope but go ahead and vent.
Flowers are freaking EXPENSIVE to send! I'd much rather either have him give me them at home or be able to spend time with him one on one!
@Christy42213: +1. Yes, yes, and yes. Yes to it all.
Eh, I'm not really into flowers. I mean, I like them, but most of them are ugly/stinky. The other lady I work with gets flowers all the time and has to go around and tell EVERYONE (we work with all guys).
I was that girl last year, at my previous job, who received flowers at work while none of the other girls/women did. Boy were they jealous. I hated being looked at like "ugh, she thinks she's hot sh:t"...I really didn't. This year? Told FH to save the ridiculous $60+ for something that will die in 2 days and go out to dinner for special date night! :)
And one of my coworkers that's the next cube over just got flowers, I just looked at her and smiled saying "AWWW!!!" and then went back to work :P
I specifically told him not to send me flowers at work because it is outrageously expensive! Well, this morning he left to work before I did. When I got to my car, there was a bouquet of flowers on my seat. I figured he put it there thinking I would take them to work with me. No expensive delivery charge and I still get flowers! However, I didn't take it to work because that would just be awkward! lol. But it was so sweet of him. He also snuck a box of milk duds in my purse, my favorite sweets!
Nah man...flowers at work suck. Because you can either leave them to rot at your desk over the weekend OR juggle that thing in the car ALL THE WAY HOME...it doesn't fit in a cup holder, you can like, wedge it in between the passenger seat, and the back seat, on the floor...or risk crushing it by seatbelting in the front seat..but then you have to soccer mom arm it every time you go around a corner...by the time you get home, you hate that vase of flowers with the fury of a thousand suns for being so untransportable, and your man is waiting all bright eyed and bushy tailed, cause he thinks he did good...and you walk in all frazzled with this half empty vase of long stem roses, three of which are broken on the stem and one of them is all burned from the heating vent pointing at it....and at this point romance is the last thing on your mind, you want a certificate of acheivement for getting them home.
It was incredibly rude of that individual to point out that you didn't receive flowers. Ugh. My husband got me a little rose plant and a pack of twizzlers and I'm making his favorite dinner. That's the extent of our celebration, which is fine with me.
Ok so who doesn't like flowers sent to her office on V-day. But you know what. The price of flowers is so inflated (almost 200%) on V-day it almost makes it not worth it. I tell my FI not to get me roses on V-day because he is just throwing money away. Get me flowers the week after...when they are cheap again. Get me poisies, ya dig.
Chocolates are always appriciated though....except nast box chocolate (yuk)
So yes. for me...Resses Penut Butter Cups and wildflowers!!!! I am such a cheap date
I think valentine's day is pretty ridiculous, actually. And clearly, if people are getting flowers at work, it's about the show, and not the meaning behind it. If you really love your SO, you show it every day. Love isn't a status symbol.
I didn't get flowers last year and I really expected them, I was super disappointed as it was our first Valentine's Day together. I dont' have any female co-workers but I was still disappointed. The whole day was a huge flop, I sent him chocolate covered strawberries that didn't get delivered until the next day due to a mishap with ups. The special dinner I had planned didn't go well and he gripped at me for my lousy parking in the driveway the minute he came in the door. Turns out he'd had a bad meeting with his boss that had him in a lot of fear at work. The night ended in tears.
I asked him last night if I should get my hopes up or not expect anything and he said oh you'll have flowers & chocolate tonight, don't worry.
Alot of our issues have been about expectations. He's never been with someone who made a big deal out of holidays (our first NYE was a disaster) so he's having to learn what's important to me. Flowers & chocolate on Valentine's day are silly to some but they matter to me.
My DH sent them to my work at random times but not Valentines day... lol he's always got bigger plans for Vday. I always just assume people who don't get big flowers at work on this holiday have a big fun night ahead of them. lol =)
@cdenise89: I think I'm more upset about this coworker that is calling out your boyfriend for not sending you flowers, like he's a jerk because he didn't follow 'tradition,' which really rubs me the wrong way.
Everyone's relationship is different; there really is no playbook you have to follow, not even for holidays.
But I do agree with some others, if you want a little more celebration, that's probably something you should talk to him about. When I first started dating my SO, I think I freaked him out with my expectations of holidays; my family celebrates every major holiday with some kind of flourish, and his family doesn't even celebrate birthdays.
I am not jealous I dont want flowers. Flowers are dead and then wilt. Why would I want something so wasteful?
In fact I really didnt want real flowers at my wedding at all. My bouquet will be a brooch bouquet. It was due to costs and regulations at disney we are doing real petals and some real flowers.
I like flowers in my garden where they bloom all season. My fiance planted me 30 pansies in the fall they are still blooming :). In the spring we'll plant new summer flowers. I like flowers that last all season.
As to valentines I got beautiful cards, and antique silver place card holders that are little sculpted bugs, and lizards. These will be wonderful for our dinner parties or to hold photos around the house! Practical, but very much my style. I love them it was a perfect gift that I didnt expect :).
It's funny, I'm too practical for this holiday. I keep seeing all the flowers today and my exact thought process is this:
"Awww flowers, it'd be kinda nice to get some. But they're expensive and we just got married, and that money could buy x,y,z on our honeymoon next week. Ok, no flowers. But awwww, they look so pretty, wouldn't it be nice? But, then again, I'd rather get a nice necklace or something next week on the cruise."
I keep going back and forth. The practical side of me will win, but the battle is there nonetheless, haha.
I think it's sweet. I've never had it happen to me, but my current SO loves showing affection with gestures like that so I'm sure it will at some point. I was kinda hoping today, but it would appear not. Ah well - he sent me a lovely gift in the mail yesterday that's more than I could have wanted.
I just textex my FI and told him i'm going to make him whatever he wants for dinner tonight. He texted me back saying that was nice but what he really wants is.... ;). Easy enough for me, take out it is. Lol
I love when my FI brings flowers home on no special day. When he sees them, thinks they are pretty, and buys them for me. I can't remember ever recieving something from him on V-Day. He says he shows me year around how much he loves me, which he does.
Flowers at the office are a nice surprise. But I certainly wouldn't be upset about not getting any. The girl who said something to you is rude. And really it kinda makes you wonder what goes on behind closed doors. What makes her want to point something like that out???? Lol
@littlemisst08: I can agree with this. We are getting married next month. These flowers are so pretty...no thats less money we will have for the wedding. LOl
Valentines Day just reminds me of my first " real" relationship when I was 18 and my boyfriend didn't call me, take me out or do anything special. I went out to eat at Chilis with my single girlfriends and while they were all margarita-ing it up with their fake ID, I was pissed off at then BF for making me declare that " oh I hate Valentines Day!", but secretly I wanted to be acknowledged.
Sending roses to work doesn't equal how much a person loves you. I have gone from hating Valentines Day , to being indifferent about it to liking it because I figured out what I liked about it: acknowledgement. I think a lot of people get in trouble because they say they hate/love it and when their partner doesn't meet the expectation ( ie I say I hate it but reallllly flowers would be nice) , they feel bummed out. If it is not important to you, don't let coworkers' feelings be projected on how you and your SO spend it together.
@jwdesiree: LOL! What a reaction! I'm glad at least one other person agrees with me. ;)
@chewah: so sweet :)
No, I hate when I get flowers anywhere other than home. I also don't understand why people do it when they live with their SO and they could have just given them at home.
FI sent me flowers to work once for my birthday and I loved it but only because he had been out of the country for 3 weeks and wasn't home and I couldn't even talk to him on the phone at all while he was gone. It was a nice surprise! Otherwise, spare me the awkwardness.
@Christy42213: Haha, I just couldn't have said it ANY better myself (and thought I should let you know)!! :)
I like to receive flowers, but I got flowers last week randomly and I don't see any reason why he needs to get me more right away. Valentine's has just never been a big deal for us. I told him that I kept thinking about making him a card, but it never happened, and he said that it really didn't matter lol.
What meant a lot to me was that I had minor surgery this morning and was feeling really nervous, so he kept cracking all of these silly jokes to keep me laughing and smiling, rubbing my shoulders, etc...
I hate how commercialized and overpriced Valentine's Day is, so I'd probably appreciate the gesture but would tell him after I got home that I rather he spend the money taking me out to a nice dinner.
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