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Aww, I'm sorry you're not the first. I know exactly how you feel! I was hoping to be the first on my side of the family (it's not possible to be the first on hubby's side), but my little sister beat me to it...and TWICE now :( The only thing I can hope for now is that she's done having kids and we'll have the first little girl since she has 2 boys. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I feel ya and I personally think it's okay to feel that way! ((HUGS))
I completely understand!!!! I am so sorry you did not get to be the first!
I so badly want to be the first on my side. If my cousin and his fiance (getting married next month) conceive first, you will see me on here venting!!
I don't think I would really mind. It would give me more practice before I had my own. Each child will be special in their own way so just because you didn't have one first doesn't mean your child won't be loved too. I dunno. Maybe I don't get it.
Well even though you wont be the first seems like the first was really not known of. You can still be the first to announce "IM PREGNANT" and get everyone excited and how about a baby shower and all the celebrations!
@Capitol-I know. It's very petty of me and I understand that, but, regardless, that's still how I felt. As far as practice goes, they live too far away for it to make any real difference, but regardless, I've been around kids my entire life and currently work as a nanny, so I have quite a bit of experience under my belt already. I'm not really jealous of other friends having babies because I know we're just not there yet in our lives, but I had just assumed we'd be first in our families so it took me by surprise, especially since nobody seems to have known about this until after we saw a picture of the little newborn. They are older than us so it's not like an unwanted teen pregnancy (though it could have been an unwanted adult pregnancy, idk), but since they aren't married I don't know if his parents were trying to keep it under wraps or what. I guess it's because I was the first child of my generation in my family and I hear stories about how excited and eager everyone was. Yes, each child is special in their own way, but there is still a certain excitement with the 1st!
My cousin was the first in our family to have a baby. His wife also found out he was cheating on her during the pregnancy. I understand why you are disappointed, but you will be really glad that you waited when you have a baby and a supportive husband.
Ahh, I totally understand how you feel! My brother has a (FANTASTIC!!!!!) 6 yr old son, so my family is out (and as for my cousins, the oldest ones started having kids when I was 6!!) but I'm really hoping we'll have the first grandchild on FI's side of the family. His brother is dating a 39 yr old woman, and I hate to admit that sometimes I worry that they'll have a baby before us since she's "getting up there" in age. And then I feel like a jerk. I don't know WHY it matters to me, I comepletely feel you on it!
I'll give you a different perspective. We always joked that we were waiting until everyone else had kids so that we'd get all the hammy downs :) We have 3 nieces and 3 nephews (each family has girl/boy) - the oldest just turned 3. We are so looking forward to 'borrowing' all their baby gadgets and saving a bunch of money on this adventure.
I understand your thoughts though. We all have them. I see SOOOOO many people/friends that seem to be in this life 'competition', keeping up with the Jones. Be it getting married first, buying a house or a bigger house, or a new car, or the new TV, the hot tub, the first baby... etc etc. It's hard to block that out and focus on your family and the gameplan that's best for your life. I know why hubby and I waited until now to have a baby - why we made those choices. Sure part of me wishes we already had our two kids and I was already being a 'mommy' everyday... but I also know exactly why our life is what it is and I wouldn't change those decisions. I just have to remind myself often. I also have to remind myself why we choose to drive old klunkers :)
This happened again recently when a friend of mine who is about 4 weeks behind me was already feeling the baby move/kick and was making a big deal about it. My hubby asked me if it was hard for me to 'witness' that because I was 20 weeks and wanted nothing more than to feel this baby. Of course it was. Of course I was a little bit jealous. Of course I had my immature moments of mimicking her 'dramatics' behind close doors. (hey no ones perfect :)) But the reality is - all pregnancies are different - hers is what it is - mine is what it is. Hubby made the comment it was a little riduculous to get into the 'my kid did this first' battle when they are still in the womb! So true :)
When the time comes for you guys to have a little one it'll be the perfect timing for your family :) No one will be any more/less excited if it's the first, second, or third little addition in the next generation.
Oh I TOTALLY get this. I was super jealous of my in-laws who dropped their pregnancy news on us as we were TTC which meant the loss of being the first grandchild on the only side that was possible. And I won't lie, it still bugged me until the day I had my son, five months after their little girl was born. And then, the world changed and I can very honestly tell you that it doesn't matter one teeny tiny little bit.
Go ahead and allow yourself to feel disappointed over this, but let yourself move on knowing that in the end it truly, truly doesn't matter.
I know what you mean! I am the oldest and always assumed I'd get married first and have kids first. But both my younger brother and sister got married before me, now my baby brother has 2 sons so I won't get to have the first kid either. I am totally fine with this now, though, because each baby is so cherished and loved that it won't matter if they were first. I have actually evolved into a more private person and I'm actually glad that ours won't be the first on either side, so they won't be quite as doted upon. I can see where you are coming from though. :)
Thanks everyone. Glad there are some who can understand so I don't feel so crazy :)
Still not much has been said about the baby in the family. We haven't heard any official announcement or anyone confirm anything. Everyone still seems kind of in the dark about it and it's just kind of been forgotten about, which is really sad. Hopefully the family that is closer is celebrating with them. I would have liked to send a gift, but since we haven't really heard anything, it's probably better not to. I hope not all babies are this lack-luster to the family! At least I know my side of the family will go wild with joy, first or not!
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So, according to the latest JoesWifeyFamily facebook gossip, one of my husband's cousins just had a baby... Nobody even knew his girlfriend was pregnant and we're all kind of scrambling to be sure that the baby is REALLY his cousin's (i.e., not a picture of a friend's baby or something), but the cousin's brother posted it and said it's his new niece and such, so yeah. Definitely seems like cousin had a baby.
Now, the lame(er) part: I'm jealous and disappointed. I was hoping that Mr. Joe and I would be the first on both sides of the family to have a baby. :( I know that's a totally lame and selfish thought, but I guess I just kind of expected that we would be first since we were the first (and so far only) to get married on both sides of the family. We're still waiting awhile before TTC. It was a bit reassuring to me that my husband thought the same thing though. He also mentioned that he had wanted us to be the first, then added in that we can still be the first on my side of the family.
I know overall there really isn't anything to be jealous of. It's just a cousin, as opposed to a sibling, and he doesn't live nearby, and obviously this was kept very quiet and wasn't really a celebrated thing.
Ah well. Hopefully it will be our turn soon (but not too soon!).