(Closed) Jealous bridesmaid?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
37 posts

Yes, I’m going through the same thing, except she’s nice to me, but we barely talk. In the beginning of our engagement, she was so excited, then she got really jealous. Shot all my wedding ideas down, talked about me behind my back.


I don’t tell her anything about my wedding plans, and if she asks about them, I don’t tell her anything. Works out good. She will be one of my bridesmaids at our wedding, but that’s it. I’m not giving her any rolls, or tasks.

Post # 4
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@feelingfriendless1:  @emricmacy: I feel you ladies. My roommate is that person for me right now and it totally sucks. I love her but she just gets so down whenever anyone close to her gets engaged. And now I am getting engaged so it’s not like I can even make her feel better about it. Most of our friends in Chicago aren’t married but pretty much all of her college friends/sorority sisters from FL are. It’s just a shame to not really be able to share my joy with her bc she doesn’t want to hear about me riding on a unicorn and pooping out rainbows. 


She is definitely going to be one of my bridesmaids – and she is even doing great bridesmaid things like organizing a mini engagement celebration with some of our best girl friends in Chicago (brunch & mani/peids) – but she is even more on edge about friend engagements right now than she ordinarily would be bc her boyfriend just backed out on living with her (yikes). So I’m trying to be sensitive to the situation bc I know her lack of YAYness is because of things going on in her own life that have nothing to do with me.


Not really sure how to get it off my mind bc it’s def disappointing but I guess I’ve just been sharing my excitement with 2 of my other close girlfriends instead. One of them is already married & her hubs is actually going to be one of the groomsmen and the other is dating a lot/doesn’t get bothered when people she loves get engaged.

Post # 6
33 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

I also have a jealous bridesmaid. Unfortunately, it’s my future SIL and she is horrible to me. She said so many mean things about me that our mutual friends tell me about. It all boils down to immaturity and jealousy. She doesn’t deserve to stand with us on our wedding day and we will be talking to her soon. I’m hoping she doesn’t leave the party or get kicked out my Fiance, but that would be his decision and I support him. 

Sad when family can’t just be happy for us. Well, everyone else is but her haha 

Post # 7
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@feelingfriendless1:  What makes you assume she stopped talking to you out if jealousy? That’s awfully egotistical of you to assume. For all you know she is genuinely busy, heck it sounds like this friendship hasn’t had anything keeping it together except the history. People grow apart and sometimes signle friends simply want to Spend time with other singles so they don’t have to hear about SO’s, babies, weddings, etc. Not because their jealous,  but because they are not yet ready for that stage themselves. 

Many single people are quite content with their lives,  being coupled doesn’t suddenly make someone happy or less lonely.  If they aren’t already happy with life, nothing will fix that. When many of my friends started getting married years ago I didn’t stop seeing them as often from jealousy, I stopped seeing them frequently because we were all busy. Me with school, studying,  work, going out; them with work, kids and staying home. Lives change, people enter different stages and different points and people grow apart. 

Post # 8
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

well it is definately something wrong here. i mean ,who takes 3 months to speak to someone or respond to a message? You cant be that busy

Post # 10
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@drummerbride:  +11111111111111111111111!!

I’m the Maid/Matron of Honor for a friend. I talk to her maybe once every three months or so, and it has zero to do with jealousy. I admittedly have also been a tad colder and don’t ask her about her Fiance, not because of jealousy, but because she’s an annoying twit who follows him like a puppy and is really unhappy in their relationship. It makes me sad to see her like that, and lose her sense of self. Therefore, I limit my contact and try to be as supportive as possible.

She’s still my best friend, and I love her dearly, but I just don’t really like dealing with her right now. That, and I have a life of my own.

Post # 11
1877 posts
Buzzing bee



I am sorry that you are feeling hurt.  That really isn’t fun and must be tough.  


That said, have you considered that maybe it has to do with her feelings about your fiancé?  My mom is someone who always assumes people are jealous of her when they aren’t nice/ responsive, etc., and I have found it usually has nothing to do with jealousy.  There’s usually another problem.


Sometimes when a person doesn’t like who their friend/sibling/ family member is engaged to/marrying, it can be VERY awkward.  Sometimes keeping one’s mouth shut and maintaining distance IS being supportive in and of itself, because they hate the guy or situation. It’s a matter of employing the old adage, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.  Maybe because she loves you she wanted to say yes to your bridesmaid request, but now that she has said yes, she is having a hard time so she is avoiding you. (By the way, if this is the case, it’s still not ok that she is avoiding  you- I’m not justifying her ignoring you at all, but rather offering a possible reason for it that you may have failed to consider.)


I had a friend marry a guy I couldn’t stand, and the best thing for me to do was say nothing at all.  As we had discussed my feelings for him early on when she started dating him, she already knew what I thought,  and made it clear that only her opinion mattered.  When she got engaged, I had no interest in hearing her gush about her wedding plans to a man who cheated on her and made her cry all the time.  When she brought up the wedding, it literally made my skin crawl. It saddened me that her self-esteem was so low that she’s not only put up with the loser, but would marry him while he ran around on her.  On top of the infidelity, he didn’t go to college, church, or have a solid career, while she was religious, educated, and successful in her own career.  To me, they were a bad match, but no one wanted to hear that.  Avoidance of her made the whole thing easier.  She told one of our mutual friends that she thought maybe I was jealous because I was less available than I had been, but our mutual friend knew better because she also hated him and I had been very helpful with her wedding.  The fact was, I would never want to marry an unfaithful, cheating, atheist without an education or a job.  I would have rather died alone than date that guy, but it was easier to just let her think jealousy was the problem 


Anyway, the case with your fiancé may not be so extreme, but consider whether or not maybe she may not like him due to something.  (Hopefully something smaller like he’s rude and not a cheater).  Maybe she is trying to support you by keeping her mouth shut. Maybe she shouldn’t have said yes to being a bridesmaid, but feels too torn about it to know what to do.  It’s hard when you want to support a friend, but don’t approve of the choices they make.  You try to balance it all out, and that is never easy.




The topic ‘Jealous bridesmaid?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors