Post # 1
My BF dated a model about 10 years ago (4 years before we even met) and has recently “friended” her on Facebook.
She commented on a post he put up yesterday. It was completely unrelated to what he was posting about. She said:
“Are you guna be in town anytime soon? Message me! :)”
When I read this, my heart almost exploded.
I am *NOT* the jealous type. I always prided myself in that. All the girls we’re friends with are crazy controlling with their Husbands/BFs, and I always felt awesome that I wasn’t one of them.
Except all of a sudden, this stupid little comment this b*tch left on his FB wall, has really gotten under my skin.
I know it’s partially because right now I’m have problems with depression and failing at dieting (dieting for 2 weeks and have only lost 0.5lbs)… so maybe that’s why I’m so angry. But… I dunno.
He isn’t the cheating type. HOWEVER, he’s also not the type to “create waves” or hurt someone’s feelings. So even if he was miserable being with me, I don’t think he’d have the guts to break up with me, because he probably wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings.
And hello, she’s a MODEL.
Even though she lives across the country, maybe I’m afraid this will implant the exciting idea that “Hey, I can be with someone WAAAY better than AquaGrey!”
I dunno how to bring this up to him… should I even?? I just want to tell him how inferior I feel, and how I’m afraid he’s going to leave me..
Post # 3
Your FI proposed to you, he was with her for 10 years and didnt propose to her nor are they together. They have a 10 year history and she may have just wanted to catch up. I was in a 14 year relationship and my FI knows and we still talk it is never anything sexual. It is usually general questions how are the girls, what am I up too, etc.
My FI knows who he is and has met him I have told him when or if he calls and if he wants to meet he comes along me. Ask your FI if he minds if you tag along it would make you feel better? If it is innocent on her part she will meet you both again when she is in town if it is not then you will know where she stands and he will too.
Post # 4
whoa!!! slow down and take a breath. Don’t make this about model ex and inferior you.
If I were you I would use this as a “teaching/learning moment” as in…. “hey, FI, we haven’t really talked about this…. I’m wondering what your thoughts are on seeing old friends without the other one around? What are your boundaries? What do we disclose? What’s off-limits to you and what do you think is acceptable?”
If he wants to know why you ask…. I think you can say that you noticed the post from “ex” and it got you to thinking……. So, you were just “checking in”.
I can tell you it’s NOT about looks or weight or anything. It’s about love. And that connection that draws you to someone. He’s either a cheater or he’s not. And that has to do with HIM. Not about you or her.
Post # 5
The girl wrote “guna”…
thats all I needed to see, she’s obviously an idiot 😉
iphone wont let me un-italize
Post # 6
I know how you feel. I am not the jelous type either, but last summer my FI’s ex-FI sent him a FB message that she was going to be in NY (she lives in Hawaii) and he should come visit her since she missed him. As far as I know they never talk on the phone, so I don’t know why she thought to message him. Plus we live in NH, so it would have been a long drive for him to go visit her. He just ignored the message, but I couldn’t help but feel angry that she would ask him to do that.
I would definitely say something to him. Just make sure you focus on your feelings of insecurity and don’t say anything that could come across as you accusing him of anything. I’m sure he will reassure you that you are all he has ever wanted!