Jealous Girlfriends? How to Deal?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I would imagine it’s the fact that your behaviour appears quite patronising. Who exactly are you to say that these women resent you for having the ‘opportunity to  love in ways they never have been gifted with’? How do you know how little or how much they have been in love? Just because they have never been married doesn’t mean their lovelives haven’t been important. I would imagine any comments they make under their breath is because you’re flaunting (paying for dinners? What has that got to do with this story, other than to make you seem generous?) and they’re probably waiting for you to stop thinking about yourself and ask them what’s going on with them.   Sorry to be blunt, but I just think it’s pretty rude to state that people are jealous when it’s probably not the case.

Post # 3
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I agree with the previous poster.

Lots of times when I see someone making threads like this, it doesn’t seem like their friends are jealous at all, and perhaps, maybe the OP is just being a jerk. If you talk to them the way this post was written, I can totally see why they might be cold/judgemental of you, it seems as if you are rubbing your engagement/wedding in their faces.

Post # 4
114 posts
Blushing bee

Sounds like these women are not your true friends. I would stop spending time with them if I were you. Life is stressful enough as it is. You don’t need the extra drama. If I had a friend who mumbled an insult under her breath I would drop her like a hot rock. Best of luck to you and FI. 

Post # 5
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

“…so I understand they resent that I have had an opportunity to love in ways they never have been gifted with”<br /><br />Yeah. If you’re even a fraction as condescending in person to these women as you sound in this post, I can see where the problem is. It takes a special kind of hubris to assume 1) you know anything about the love your friends have been “gifted” with and 2) that your life plans are the impotus for their moods or behavior.

If you don’t enjoy spending time with these friends, then stop making plans with them and, as you say, focus on the life you and your “unicorn” are creating together. I do agree this situation does indeed prove that old adage’s truth…

Post # 6
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Nikki_Woodstock:  Why don’t you just ask them what’s going on instead of assuming that they’re jealous? 

“Hey friends, I noticed that you’ve been canceling plans and muttering insults under your breath (Sidenote: Really?? And what do you SAY when they do that?!). What’s going on? Are you mad at me for some reason?”

Ditto PPs that your attitude comes across as really patronising. 

Post # 7
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It doesn’t sound as if you like these women at all, you just need them to prop up your large ego. But that’s okay as it doesn’t sound as if they like you, either. Frenemies, as they say. 

Post # 8
397 posts
Helper bee

Erin418:  I agree that’s what this sounds like, unfortunately. Terrible to say, but upon reading, Cinderella and her wicked Stepsisters immediately came to mind.

Post # 9
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Re read your post….and then honestly tell me you have NO idea why they are acting put off…

Post # 14
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Nikki_Woodstock:  If pretty much all responses are coming to the same conclusion, I would think you might take pause and reflect a bit.

Edit – wait, I’m also confused … according to a post you made last night, you’re actually not even engaged yet, so what are these girls supposed to be swooning over now?

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  HannahGrace.
Post # 13
3731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just because people aren’t fawning all over you and your engagement does not mean they are “jealous.” It also doesn’t mean that they are unloved or having difficult relationships themselves. They probably just don’t care. 


To be honest, I’d find it hard to be happy for someone who automatically assumes that I’m “jealous” because I’m not shitting my pants with excitement over their engagement. 

Post # 15
460 posts
Helper bee

If one of my g/f’s came across with a similar attitude, I wouldn’t hide my distaste for her snooty attitude under my breath. Your friends should grow a set so you aren’t reduced to asking internet strangers what your friends’ problem is with you.

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