Post # 1
Ugghhhh I hate feeling this way and I just need to get this out. My girls threw me a great bachleorette party and lingerie shower this weekend. We met for the shower at one of their houses, then went downtown for a few hours before going to sleep at a hotel. They didn’t have a whole lot of money, so I wasn’t expecting much and it was totally fine. We had a good time, but one friend made it extra dramatic for everyone.
His bachelor party is Thursday. They are taking him skydiving (!!!) as a surprise during the day, then getting a limo (!!) and cruising around then going downtown where they will be staying all night.
I just feel jealous that he’s getting such a cool all-day party, while I’ll be running around doing wedding stuff all day. I’m positive he’ll be hungover on Friday, so I’ll have to decorate the reception venue with my mom by ourselves, which will be no easy task, while he sleeps it off and does nothing.
I just hate feeling this way, and I don’t want to be bitter the day before we get married…but I can already tell that I’m going to be. I just need some words of wisdom 🙁
Post # 3
Maybe you could ask him to not drink to the point of a hangover, since you really will need the help decorating? I think that’s a reasonable request.
Post # 4
I would definitely ask him to not get TOO drunk. The other stuff he’s doing is awesome, so alcohol could be cut back on!
Post # 5
I am going to have to disagree. He let you do what you wanted, now it’s his turn. Let him have his day. I mean, a wedding is largely centered around the bride anyways. This is a whoopty 24 hours of his life, and then he is dedicating the rest of that time to being a husband to you. Let this go. It’s childish and not worth it. Don’t let it ruin your day!!
Post # 6
I kind of have to agree with @crystalrodz. It’s only fair to allow your FI to have his day too.
Post # 7
I think crystalrodz has the right idea in this situation. Since you know how you are going to feel about it, maybe you can work on how to get past it even before it happens! Alternatively, is there any way to push back the decorating a bit? Yeah he’ll be hung over, but eventually he’ll have to get out of bed and he could maybe help you later in the day?
Good luck, and enjoy your wedding 🙂
Post # 8
Let him enjoy his day. I know that guys (some guys) dream about their bachelor parties. It’s basically the only thing that revolves around the groom (whereas the bride has showers and all). Let him enjoy it and don’t worry whether he’ll be too hung over or whatever.
Post # 9
Just talk to him and let him know that you are def going to need his help on friday. But let him enjoy his party to the fullest! It’s his day and you had yours. My FI and I had our bach parties on the same day/night his ended up being ruined horribly by his brother while mine was amazing! I felt guilty at how much fun I had and how upset he was by the things that ruined his party. I’m sure your fi will be thinking of you while he’s out! Just relax and get all the crap done he can’t help you with, and drag his butt out of bed if he’s hung over when you need his help!
Post # 10
I agree with the other posters who say let him have his day, and let him do whatever he wants and drink what he wants etc. It does suck that there is a chance that he’ll be too hungover to decorate, but if you say to him “don’t have too much to drink!” he might have a lousy time. He might too worried about decorating the next day to really enjoy himself, and he might resent you for it. You might just have to recruit some other people for decorating. But this is his one night to go out and live it up, and just because yours was not ideal, you still had a good time, so let him go out and have a good time too. Also I hope you take no offense to this! I know weddings are overwhelming and decorating is a huge part of the stress, but don’t let it ruin your day!
Post # 11
I agree that you really need to let it go. What your girls did for you sounds very nice.
Post # 12
I think it’s fine to be jealous of his awesome sounding day as long as it’s healthy jealousy (it exists) meaning you wish you could be part of it but encourage him to go balls to the wall and make some lasting memories.
Encouraging him not to drink too much is a really bad idea. Encouraging him to drink a lot of water that night, especially before bed, is a really good idea.
Just arm yourself with a breakfast plan. Encourage him to get out of bed with the promise of aspirin, coffee, bacon and hashbrowns. That should do the trick. There’s no reason why he can’t help you the day after but also no reason why he should slow his roll the night of his bachelor party.
Post # 13
Thanks for the input. I know you are right in that I should let him enjoy his day. What makes it even worse is that I was going to take him skydiving for his birthday next month, so it was something that I really wanted to do together.
As far as the suggestions for the morning, they are staying in a hotel so I will have absolutely no control over when or if he gets up and gets going. I just fear that I’m going to be doing all the hauling and decorating myself and will resent HIM for it (as opposed to the comment above that he will resent me if I ask him not to get too drunk). I just don’t know where to go from here, and I feel like one of us is going to be bitter at the other the day before we get married, and I REALLY don’t want that to happen.
Post # 14
My hubby was a bit jealous of my bachelorette party(s). I had a surprise weekend trip to Vermont, and a local party here with my friends. He had a night bar hopping (which he loved, but you have to admit a weekend trip and 2 parties are better). But he was still really happy for me to get to have so much fun. He understood that his BM has a family and doesn’t have a ton of money, so they weren’t able to spend as much money or time. My bridesmaids don’t have kids so they aren’t as tied down.
Post # 15
I would recommend trying not to get upset over his bachelor party. He did let you go out and have your night, its his turn. Maybe you both should have talked about the parties together before the plans were set… maybe it would have been best to have the parties at least a week prior to the wedding… either way, he wants to enjoy his night out with friends so try not to make him feel guilty. I think it is reasonable to ask him to drink enough to get buzzed, but to know his limit after! You should not have to decorate alone, if that were the plan from the beginning.
Post # 16
I’m assuming the two of you discussed the fact that his bachelor party was going to take place the Thursday before your wedding already and you have agreed to it, for whatever reasons. Assuming that’s the case, you should try to let it go and encourage him to have his day. No good is going to come out of being mad about the fact that he’s too hungover to help, you both should have planned for that by either choosing another day or asking other people to help out with the decor. And he’s either going to look back on the week before the wedding and think “Wow, what an awesome wife I have who was so understanding about my needs and my friendships” Or he’ll remember it with resentment about how you SAID you were OK with the bachelor party, then got mad anyway when he couldn’t help out.
As far as being jealous, seriously don’t be. Boys have totally different expectations when it comes to bachelor parties than girls do. Girls are trying to be frugal, watch their figures, etc. while Boys have a savings account specifically for bachelor parties. My DH went with 19 friends (19!!!) on a 4 day destination bender. That means the guys had to pay for flights, hotels, every meal out, etc. Compared to my bachelorette where the ladies drove up to NYC, stayed 1 night with me and we went to the cheapest restaurant with an ‘all you can eat’ special to cut costs. We still had an amazing time and it was really memorable, at least I can remember mine!