- 9 years ago
I’ve heard stories about guys being a "momma’s boy" and that they wont really "cut the umbilical cord" and some women are kind of jealous about that sometimes. Well, my FI isn’t a mamma’s boy, but his sister fills in that gap. His sister is a bit older than him(by about 3 years) and they were close growing up. He credits her to helping raise him and such because their parents were gone working a lot. Now, I certainly have no complaints that he respects his sister and thinks so highly of her, but sometimes I feel like he prefers her over me. He’ll never argue things with her, when he needs advice or help, he goes to her first. Even if it is something we’re discussing, he very often says "let me ask my sister." Any decision we make (well, not things like what to have for dinner or anything) has to be run by his sister. She even does his taxes and stuff for him. She comes home about 2 nights a week and stays the rest with her boyfriend. I don’t know why she comes home, other than to see my FI and their mom I guess and I wish she would just move out completely. She’s old enough, my FI is old enough to take care of himself, etc. When she’s home, my FI will spend most of the evening playing Wii with her. He seems to enjoy her company more than mine. One time, we were talking about moving back to my home state (I moved out here about a year ago. over 700 miles from my family and everything I have ever known to be with him). He says basically that he doesnt want to go because he doesn’t want to leave his sister. That was CRUSHING to me. After I gave up EVERYTHING for him (and I don’t regret it!) he isn’t willing to do the same for me! My brother and I were VERY close, 14 months apart in age, so we’ve basically always been together and have been best friends, similar to my FI and his sister. But I gave all that up because I love him. We’re supposed to be starting our own new family, and when I told him that (because I was talking about how when we’re married I don’t really want his sister doing our taxes) he said something about how he’s not going to just stop talking to her, completely not even understanding what i mean. I would never want him to stop talking to her, but we need to rely on each other and turn to each other, obviously not for EVERYTHING, but we should be a "two of us" not a "three of us." i tried to explain it, but i think it just kind of trailed off. I’ve tried to talk to my FI about this stuff a little bit, but he just doesn’t understand and thinks I’m making a big deal over nothing, though he did think over the moving back thing and is more willing to consider it after he realized how I did it for him. I could go on with other instances of stuff like this, but no need really. Anyone else delt/dealing with this? How do you handle it? It’s just very frustrating sometimes.