Jealous of my friend

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your time will come so be happy for her.  If you get engaged soon you can enjoy the planning together! My friend and i got engaged within a week of each other (totally unplanned) and it was awesome knowing we were going through the same things. 

Post # 4
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sarahroby:  Aw, sweety – we’ve all been there. It is so hard to not be disappointed as our friends get engaged. I ignored my BFF for a few months after she got engaged because it was so hard for me to hide my jealous feelings. Try really really hard to be happy for her – you’d want her to be happy for you if the situation were reversed. This is her time – yours will be soon 🙂 Act how you would want her to act if she were in your shoes.


Easier said than done though…..try to stay positive Smile

Post # 5
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s perfectly ok to feel however you feel- it’s not like you can control your emtions.

However, if the tables were turned, would you want your friend to be happy for you?  This is one of those times where you just have to buck up and smile for them. Have a small, brief pity party, then move on.  Congratualte them, and be sincere about it 🙂

Post # 6
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@sarahroby:  Go! Maybe her e-party will light a fire under your SO’s butt. Lol. Seeing all your friends getting married and engage might make him think he wants the same now and move quicker. 

Post # 7
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@sarahroby:  Try to not be jealous!!!  I know its hard, trust me, its the reason I joined this blog because I just could NOT stand the wating ugh!

But, at the same time, she is your friend and if you want her to be happy for you, you’ve gotta be happy for her too.   You should go to the party and FAKE IT if you have to. 

Think about her situation: She was going to maybe be engaged before her SO was deployed.  She would be engaged, sure, but at any moment….she could be living a lonely life and that is NOT an easy one to live.  (I’m assuming that your SO is not in the military).


Maybe when you see her you and when two are alone you could joke ‘And you thought it would be me before you! I’m so happy that it was you!’ and keep it light hearted.  One thing that I’ve started doing is admitting when I am jealous but I will say ‘Oh I’m jealous of you in a good way!!’ so that you are clearing the air, admiting that you want to be engaged in a classy way and that you are happy for them and want them to enjoy the moment. 


Post # 8
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@sarahroby:  I can totally relate! Three of our close friends got engaged before us … after the second and third couple announced their engagement I started to get very jealous. Little did I know my proposal was just a few months behind. It’s normal to feel this way. It’s hard to be happy for others when you want the same thing so bad. It will happen when the time is right! I would suggest going, by not showing up and supporting them you look very spiteful … not what friends do.

Post # 9
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@sarahroby:  I know it sucks, but it isn’t her fault, and if she is a good friend, you need to put your feelings aside and support her and be happy for her.

Post # 10
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

It’s hard but you need to be happy for her, wouldn’t you want her to be happy for you if the situation was reversed?

I feel the same way about a friends recent engagement, disappointed that it wasn’t me getting engaged but I’m ridiculously happy for her and happy to be her MOH. I also feel the same small twinge of jealousy when I hear people are pregnant, but I’m still very happy for them and excited to celebrate the birth of their baby!


Post # 11
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@sarahroby:  I felt the same way when 3 of my best friends got engaged before me. We’d all been with our SOs roughly the same amount of time. But I quickly realized I had nothing to be jealous about and my time would come and it ended up coming even sooner than I expected! Just be patient and be happy for them because you’ll have your moment as well 🙂

Post # 12
376 posts
Helper bee

@sarahroby:  Try not to be jealous, your time will come and just remember that your SO will be noticing how many of these engagement parties etc you guys are being invited to as well…

Post # 13
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@sarahroby:  Yes, it sucks – many of us have been there. However, as long as you and your SO are on the same page, it’s important to tough it out b/c your time WILL come.

I will put things in perspective for you:

I remember being upset fourth of July weekend this year b/c not only did my ex-bf propose to who will now be his SECOND wife (yes, second), but a female friend of FI’s got proposed to even though she dated a year less than my FI and I were together. However, I didn’t voice my state of anguish out loud (maybe I did it on the Bee so kudos to just keeping it on the Bee!). Instead, I was just happy for them and expressed my happiness to them. A week later, my FI proposed b/c he was waiting until our 2 year dating anniversary to pop the Q. I was so happy that I didn’t throw a tantrum or freak out openly July 4th weekend. It would have looked very bad.

I had a housewarming party with FI’s friends a few weeks ago. Two of the wives were our guests, and they told me that when all my FI’s friends found out about my engagement, this girl who was a girlfriend of FI’s friend for a while FREAKED out on everyone b/c I got engaged before her. I actually felt embarrassed for the poor girl, but felt she could have handled it a lot better especially as she’s 33 or so. I personally think instead of freaking out, she should talk to her SO to make sure they are on the same page – getting all upset in front of everyone won’t solve anything.

So yeah, moral of the story – be happy for those getting engaged, b/c one day IT WILL BE YOU, and you don’t want some girl freaking out over it now or do you? 🙂


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