Post # 1
I have never done a post before but i am on weddingbee almost everyday! Everybody on here is so wonderful and understanding to eachother. So i am hoping maybe you girls have felt similar to how I am feeling right now! I would not say I am a jealous person but lately I have been! Of the past.. I am jealous that my fiance has been in love with other women. I know everybody has a past and have been in different relashionships but I wish I was the only girl he has loved. It is hard to know that he has loved another girl, possibly said and done the same things with her as he does me. I love him so much and he loves me too. We are perfect for eachtother but I wish I didn’t care that he has a past. It is not a bad past, he has just had a few seriouse relashionships. I dont really need too much advice, I already know that he loves me now and nobody else but I still wish that I had been his one and only love. I know this feeling will pass in time but it is here to stay for now! Has anyone felt this way? I just want to know that I am not alone!
Post # 3
You are not alone, jealousy always rears its ugly head from time to time. I use to never be a jealous person until I was once in a relationship where I thought everything was great, not knowing I had competition. My guy was running around all over the place flirting etc. I thought I was over it when I met my now FI seeing that I was older, wiser and knew exactly what I wanted, but it was hard because 1. He was engaged to his longtime girlfriend for a month before he finally broke it off and after her he dated around, alot and dated alot before his longtime girlfriend. 2. He has a huge family of women and their friends who we are in the same age range always had crushes on him and it was hard to deal with all the female friends. Its so differnent now, but it took me alot to trust him and get over my jealousy. Yea the past sucks it really does. But it shapes who you are today and you have to look at this way, the fact that he has been in other serious relationships, shows you he is a one woman guy who loves monogamy. And after going through relationships you develop and learn what you really want in a life partner, thus you are now his FI. Do not look back, he chose to spend the rest of his life with you and thats all that matters! It will pass, I promise. Just promise me to not let interfere with your relationship. That is never healthy.
Post # 4
I liked what Bear9206 said about the past shaping who we are.
I hear you. I had a similar experience. I tried being all zen about the fact that my husband had been married before. ("No I don’t hate her guts. She made some bad shoices, which led to my good fortune. I should thank her.") But after a while, I got caught up in things like, he’s shy about inviting a lot of people to our wedding because they were invited to the first. (What doesn’t he care about our relationship, like he did his first?) Then there was the fact that no matter what I did, I knew I’d never be his first bride. Sigh. Not to mention all the times you hear, "you never forget your first love". Uggg.
For me, I had one boyfriend before my husband. While we dated for two years, I can say now, I really didn’t love him. Or at least looking back, it didn’t seem that way. I suppose at the time I thought I did. If you have had relationships in the past, try to draw on them to see how much past relationships really are done, and no longer mean anything to you. While I don’t hate my exboyfriend, I really never think about him.
So I can say taht it does get easier. You will spend more time and years with him, than any of his past girlfriends. You will have children, a wedding, anniversaries etc that they will never have with him. Good luck. God bless.