(Closed) Jealousy :(

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Oh hun I know how you feel! I was told by my mum yesterday that my cousin (who had her first daughter at 15 and she just turned 20 earlier this month) is 8 weeks along…I smiled and played along but inside I was a seething green eyed monster….don’t get me wrong I love my cousin and she’s a great mother but yeah nothing can stop that “hey it’s my turn!” Reaction….there’s no way to stop it really but hey feel free to pm me if you want someone to talk too 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

We’re not officially ttc just yet but I just wanted to say that I can imagine your frustration. I have the baby fever BAD and everyone around me left, right and center is falling pregnant! sometimes I get a little greeneyed myself!!

The thing is you just have to remain positive for you and your partner. One day it WILL be your turn! visualisation is a powerful thing. Believe and it will happen! I am crossing my fingers for you~!

 

Post # 5
Member
1432 posts
Bumble bee

@autumnlynnhill:  Uhhh I feel your pain. There are so many emotions that go along with TTC so when these kind of announcements can be like rubbing salt on a wound.  How long have you been trying? Join one of the 6+ month TTC or 1yr+ boards if you haven’t already. You will be in good company, especially on these really crappy kind of days.

As fas as advise.. since chances are you are going to hear about her pregnancy a lot id just say fake it till you make it. When I am not feeling particulary excited about chatting all things pregnancy with a friend I will just keep on my happy face and do it because in the end, it is not THEIR fault I am not pregnant and they do deserve to be excited. Also just change the subject whenever you can.

Post # 6
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@autumnlynnhill:  *hugs* I’m sorry that you’re hurting so much. I constantly find myself feeling the same way. Saw a fb post where an old friend announced that he and his wife were expecting twins, ffs. And yeah, especially seeing people I’ve known for years that never wanted kids are all ‘oops I’m preggo again for the 3rd time’ makes me want to bash my head into a wall. I’m just chalking it up to their serene smugness and go play a game where I can kill stuff, so I at least have something of an outlet.

Are you able to go to a gym or a fitness center and try working off some frustration? I’ve started walking, and the fresh air and sun sometimes helps me. Email me if you ever wanna talk.

Post # 7
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

It’s okay to be a little jealous but eventually you should just move on.

Post # 8
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are certainly not alone – I think jealousy is a very normal part of TTC, especially if you’ve been trying for a long time.  I don’t know how long you’ve been TTC, but there are a couple great threads here for support if you’ve been trying over 6 months or over 1 year.  Feel free to come join us!

6 months: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/the-6-month-ttc-group-part-16-lets-see-some-more-graduates

1 year: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/1-year-ttc-part-v

Post # 9
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It is hard, and it feels awful to be jealous. Because she told you last and ask specifically if you were happy for her, that makes me wonder if she knows about your struggle. If she does, she is being insensitive (an unprofessional in any setting) to give boob updates and pee urge announcements. If you can, try to distance yourself a little until she stops with the hourly pregnancy updates.

Post # 10
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. Unfortunately jealousy is a very real thing to deal with while having trouble TTC. I would suggest you joining us on the boards @hardtoconcentrate: suggested if you have been TTC for 6+ or 1+. FX for you lady.

Post # 11
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I hate to say it but jealousy is a normal part of TTC. Everytime someone posts a pregnancy announcement on FB i feel a twinge of jealousy.

One of my friends, who got married after us(I don’t know why, but this fact made me even more jealous) announced her BFP to everyone. I was on the phone crying to my SIL(who is also one of her best friends). I feel especially bad now and guilty because that friend ended up miscarrying this past weekend.

But, like I said, jealousy is a normal feeling during TTC. A baby is the one thing that a woman wants so bad during the TTC proccess, that we often have unnessary jealousy even when we see a woman out in public with a baby bump.

It’s completely normal. FX that you get your BFP soon!

 

Post # 12
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

@autumnlynnhill:  hah – I love the sticker!

Don’t feel guilty for lying or being jealous – it’s a totally normal, human reaction.

Post # 13
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I think this can happen with every life milestone. When I broke up with my first FI, it seemed everyone else was getting married and it was hard for me. After we lost our baby, it seemed everyone else was pregnant and giving birth. It’s just human nature and you certainly don’t need to feel bad about having these feelings – everyone does! Gosh, even when someone loses a ton of weight I feel a little pang of jealousy.

As you asked for suggestions, I’d try focusing on all the positive, awesome things that you have (and maybe that the *annoying* coworker doesn’t have). I’m sure there are tons of things about YOU, your life, and your relationship that people are jealous of too!

Post # 14
Member
4574 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am totally riding in the same bus as you, and I can tell you that many of us that have done everything to get pregnant and havent yet gotten our BFPs, feel the same way.  I think what you are doing, lying about being happy for her, is just all you can do.  It hurts, but what else can you do right? Going to your car and cry, yup, do that and some more of that…it can help somewhat.  Hang in there, sweet lady.  (((Hugs))) and for her to say that another child will ruin her life WTFFFFFFFF, then dont efing do anything that can give you a child!!!! *just ranting* xoxo

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