Jealousy? Or am I overreacting?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
11496 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sounds like jealousy, but maybe you should try talking to her?  Don’t make it about the wedding — just mention that things are off, and you were wondering if something was off.  Maybe she’ll bring up whatever her issues are.

Post # 3
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

Could be jealousy. You say that she’s been discussing weddings incessantly… Maybe she and her SO were planning to get engaged soon and she feels like you’ve just stolen her thunder. 

Post # 4
Member
6562 posts
Bee Keeper

Without knowing any of you or anything about the relationship, we don’t know why your friend would have tried to talk SO out of proposing. It  could be anything from  she thinks you are too young, doesn’t think the two of you are in a good time or  place in your lives, to not thinking you are a good match. It could be jealousy. If that had ever happened to me, you’d better believe I would say something to her. 

Post # 6
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

Caseyjean5248:  When my SO told her that he was going to propose she tried to talk him out of it<br /><br />

 

 

When she tried to talk him out of proposing she said that “she didn’t want him to make this decision just to make me happy” <br /><br /><br />

 

Seriously?! I’m thinking the problem here is NOT that you need to figure out whether she’s jealous vs. whether you’re overreacting.

The problem is that you are referring to her as your “best friend” in your opening sentence.

EX-best friend, dear. EX!

 

Post # 7
Member
458 posts
Helper bee

Wow, sounds really jealous to me.  I wouldn’t ask her to be in your bridal party if I were you if she’s going to treat your wedding like that, even if she is your “best friend.”

Post # 8
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2025

Caseyjean5248:  I’m always an advocate of focusing on things you can change rather than things you can’t. In this case, you can control your own feelings and actions, and you can’t control the things your best friends say/does. 

Don’t take it personal. Her actions say everything about her, and nothing about you. Don’t let her negativity bother you. Even if she’s jealous, it’s not like you’re going to call off the engagement to make her feel better. So focus your time/energy elsewhere 😀 

Post # 9
Member
6562 posts
Bee Keeper

Caseyjean5248:  It sounds to me like there may be something more to this story.  Either way, your friend crossed a big line. 

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