Post # 1
I’ve been really trying to figure out what to do with my hair for the wedding. I know it’s a long time away still, but I think that getting a better idea for what I want will really help me. I’ve had short hair for two years now and I’m working on trying to grow it out for the wedding so that I have more options. I’ve really been thinking that I like the idea of getting some clip in long long extentions and getting some waves put in them for the big day.
But….here is the thing. My FI hates me with long hair. I had long hair when we first started dating and then I chopped it all off and he LOVES it short. When I told my FI that I might want to grow my hair out long long he said that he’d let me do it but he wouldn’t like it. He has had some jealousy issues in the past and although he is working on them, this is one thing he struggles with. I think it stems from having long hair with my ex’s. I love the idea of having long locks on my wedding day but I’m worried what he’ll think.
Please, don’t try to tell me that my relationship is wrong for me. I’m trying to ask an honest question becuase I know that he’s not the only person on the planet that struggles with this. He’s a good man, but I’m worried about the responses.
Post # 3
Coud you just do the extensions for the wedding day? That way you don’t have long hair in “normal” life.
Did you tell him you wanted long hair for the wedding or just that you wanted long hair in general?
If its a huge deal that causes lots of problems than I would probably just wear it short to make your FH happy but if it were my hair I’d do whatever the hell I wanted to it, its just hair.
Post # 4
I’m am SO sorry, but I don’t understand. Your fiance is jealous of what/who when you have long hair?
Are you trying to say that because it was long with your ex’s he’s reminded of them and is jealous of them?
Post # 5
I don’t know that having long hair necessarily gives you more options. There are so many short and medium length styles and variations. Add in the veil/flower/hairpiece, and you have tons of ideas to choose from!
I had long hair most of my life, but I chopped it short right before my fiance and I met. For our wedding, I briefly considered growing it out because I had this view of the traditional long-haired bride and was also considering options. When I mentioned it, he said that I look so different with long hair in pictures that sometimes he barely recognizes me. He loves what he’s used to – short hair. I realized it makes more sense to look like me now than me 5 years ago or some idealized “bride” vision in my head.
Post # 6
I have really long hair, but when I first met my FI it was shoulder length. He has mentioned a few times that he really liked it when we first met and it was shorter, but I love it long and thats how I am going to keep it! If you want long hair for your wedding then you should have long hair for your wedding….and everyday for that matter if thats what you want. he will come around and get used to it!
Post # 7
@ItalianLady:He’s told me that he is just reminded of the people I was with before him, and he’d honestly rather not be. That’s about it.
@Sking: Thank you for that reaffirmation. I love my short hair but mostly I feel like I’ve been missing my long hair (either because people around me EXPECT me to have long hair or because of whatever else I’m not sure.)
Post # 8
I’m with ItalianLady. I don’t really get what he’s jealous of, nor why it matters? Does this mean you can never grow your hair out at any point in your life if you marry him? I’m not trying to be harsh, but really this makes no sense to me.
FI has seen me with short hair, long hair, medium length hair, and he is fine with all of them. It’s not his hair, it’s mine. Just like this is your hair. If you WANT it long, then by all means grow it out. If you DON’T want it long, then do extensions or pick a different hairstyle.
Post # 9
@SweetRose2011: I actually have the opposite problem! My fiance likes my hair longer and I’ve been growing it out to have options for my wedding. But I keep watching as friends and co-workers chop their hair off and I’m super jealous of their cute haircuts!
I hate keeping my hair long because it’s very fine/thin so unless it’s short with lots of layers, I feel like it just hangs there limply and looks disgusting. 🙁
ETA: Probably should have read the whole post before replying. It’s a little weird that HE’s jealous but we all have our issues.
Post # 10
Is he in counselling? Everyone gets twinges of jealousy but this is kinda extreme. I’m sorry, I know that’s not the point of your post but it’s just so bizzare for him to be jealous of your hair.
And why just your hair? That’s the bizzare part. Anyway, I’m sorry.
Post # 11
First, the FI obviously loves you but has a lot of maturing to do. I used to do things like that when I was about 18. “Let’s not go that restaurant because you went there with your ex”. Was silly and I grew out of it. Although I’ve never heard of hair jealousy. You also looked at other people with your eyes, kissed them with your lips…Do you have to change all of them? Please don’t let him dictate your looks with this nonsense and talk some sense into him. Sometimes people have to be called out for how ridiculous and immature they’re being for them to just shake it off.
For the wedding I think extensions are a great idea. I wore them and loved them. You can check out the beauty threads for other suggestions and pics.
Post # 12
I say grow it out and just wear it in a ponytail once it starts to get long. Honestly he isnt going to break up with you for having long hair so that you can have an updo for your wedding day! And if he does then he is not the right person for you!
Post # 13
@PitBulLover:Oh he won’t break up with me!! I just know he doesn’t “prefer” it. He’s not that kind of guy and loves me the world over.
Post # 14
Why don’t you just grow it out a little bit? Not sure how short it is now, but that may be a good way to compromise. I want to wear my hair up for the wedding but my FI loves my hair down, so I will wear it that way for him. After all, he doesn’t see my dress or really have any other decisions on what I wear, I figured I would do this for him!
Post # 15
I am soooo confused… 🙁
I say just grow it out for the wedding since that is what YOU want and then after cut it if it is such a big deal!
Post # 16
I agree with seeing if there is a compromise that can be reached, like length or style that would make him more comfortable.
Jealousy is something that has to be worked through, and maybe you can make him see that none of your exes/people from your past have seen you looking like a beautiful bride with long hair.
In the end, you have to decide what you feel best doing. I know that when my boyfriend and I disagree about appearance things, there are dealbreakers and then there are things that I don’t mind letting him have. My boyfriend really likes long hair, and I love both long and short, so I let him have me with long hair. If having short hair on your wedding day is going to make you uncomfortable, explain that to him. Or are you going to be spending a lot of time worrying that he’s not enjoying you on your day together?