Post # 1
Ok I am not sure if jealous is the right word, but I am having some feelings I am not to thrilled about.
So some backs story, my Fiance and I have been together for 6 years, and his sister has NEVER really liked me, no ne is sure why… but she is a very odd person, like to the point where her family loves her but still cant spend extended periods of time together.
So Fiance and i get engaged after 5 years together, we wanted a long enagagement so we could save because we are pretty young (16 month engagement) and when we first get enagaged I announce the wedding month and FIs sister has the nerve to ask us to change the month because it is her dream wedding month! WHAT!?! no way she had only been with her bf for a year and they WERE NOT enageged. But FI’s sister, lets call her “K”, is wedding obssessed, i even came across a wedding website she made after only being with her bf for 6 months!
OK so now the holdiays come around and Fiance and I are pretty far a long in the wedding planning, and then K gets enageged! That s great I am so happy for her! Oh wait she is getting married 4 months before us….. only a 6 month enagement… hmm okay thats fine i guess. Well turns out I am not so fine with it. I know that 4 months is plenty of space between our weddings but she had let it slip before that she wanted to be the first kid to get married…. even tho she is the youngest. Now I cant help but feel that she is “winning’. Now everytime I hear her wedding plans I immediayley comapre it to ours… even though our weddings could not be more opposite!!!
The adult in me tells me that this stuff should not matter I am still marrying the love of my life and I am having the wedding I want, and i should just be happy for her. But it is proving to be harder than I thought, mostly because she is doing it even though her family wants her to wait because they are broke, and do not have a stable income or stable jobs and they will struggle, and her mom feels that they are still in a “puppy love” relationship, and I feel like they are rushing this wedding just so she can be first.
I hate myself a little for being so childish, but I am slo frustrated because we waited so long to get married and here they just swoop right in and they have only been together a year and ahlf and are SO immature. Gah how do I stop feeling this way????
Post # 3
Wow. That sounds really immature on her part. I sure hope they are both prepared to be grown ups, because marriage won’t be a walk in the park….I’m not sure how you can get over it…I guess just do your best to vent and then suck it up and know that you are being the more mature one?
Post # 4
Couple #1 is broke, doesnt have a stable job, may be rushing into things.
Couple #2 has been together for 6 years, responsibily saving for their wedding.
Who sounds like the one “winning” the game of life here….?
Post # 5
Thanks ladies, it helps to be validated in my feelings and I this post I am sure will help me get over things by the time her wedding gets here, which is not too far. I know after it is all over I will feel so dumb for even feeling this way.
Post # 6
At least she didn’t choose to get married the same month, since it’s supposedly her dream month!
Post # 7
@Jamcnair: Her parents told her she was absolutley NOT allowed to get married that month or they would not help with the wedding AT ALL…. thank goodness.. I love my FILs!
Post # 8
@pinkshoes: I agree!
I had my Maid/Matron of Honor of 18 years do something like this. (way to long of story and most have read it on the BEE LOL) You just have to realize any marriage for the wrong reasons does not last and the ones that do last are not real. I would not expect this kind of behavior to stop to be honest. It could go beyond your weddings so that is something to sink in considering you will be part of this family.
Don’t tell her one thing about your wedding plans…this is grave advise I assure you! LOL
Don’t let her anything from dress, dress type, themes, colors, NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO wedding band info either.
These type people will still every aspect of what you want to do it first to one up you. This is the most vital info I can give you with his kind of girl.
Post # 9
Be happy with your wedding, hers may not last…
Post # 10
I think four months is enough time in between but it’s pretty clear that she’s a silly girl and has some growing up to do.
Post # 11
Just be happy that she will also be the first to get divorced 😉
Man… I even FELT mean writing that. But seriously… she seems so immature. If you are getting married to “win” you are going to have serious problems, especially since they are not stable in any way. Maybe she will recognize this closer to her day.
Post # 12
When someone is clearly being competitive and a bit of a BEE-Word it’s hard to to feel annoyed/jealous/angry etc. She’s obviously immature and I would just ignore her.
I’ve been with my Fiance for 5 1/2 years, engaged for 6 months. My brother and his girlfriend of 1 year just got engaged on Saturday and I am so excited for them, even though they are racing to Vegas to get married this June I don’t care. I can’t wait!
Post # 13
i totally agree with pinkshoes on this one. You’re already ahead in life. If she wants to be a child, all the power to her. Don’t let it bother you, or you are giving away your personal power!
Post # 14
When I have thoughts like that, I just think about how I probably won’t even remember any of these things years from now. My friends who have been married 3 years before me will have gotten “married around the same time” as me when I look back 25 or 50 years from now. The only thing that matters is that your union has staying power. If being the first to get married means something to her…ok she can have that. In the end, it’s so small of a feat, actually not even a feat at all.
Post # 15
I think the best thing that you can do is ignore her. Turn it into an inside joke with your Fiance and carry on.
Post # 16
I completely understand! My sister got engaged to her boyfriend 3 months after I got engaged, even though she had been having a rocky relationship with him and got married 6 months after getting engaged. My Fiance and I are having a 16 month engagement so that we could have time to plan and save.
At first, I was really upset and jealous because I felt like she was “stealing my thunder”, but then I realized that I just had to be happy for her because it was what she wanted. In the end, I was so happy that she got married before mine because then I could see things that I didn’t like, or see things that I wanted.
In your case, I would look at it the same way, even though your weddings are going to be extremely different, think of it as everyone can go to her wedding as a “warm up” and go to yours as the “grand finale”!! 🙂
She sounds extremely immature, selfish and jealous (I deal with a Future Sister-In-Law just like her), so just let it roll off your back. Try to be kind, because in the end, no one can say anything about you except for how nice you have been.