Post # 1
I am not usually one to compare myself to others, and I am not one who cares about price or labels. I have always prided myself in the fact that I march to the beat of my own drum, but then my cousin got engaged, and I feel like I’m comparing things to her wedding, not necessarily costs, but things like doing save the dates, where did she get her dress, what does it look like, how much is she spending, and all the drama that comes with a wedding. And I’m not sure why? She’s getting married about 6 weeks before me and we are entirely different people, and I can’t help but feel pressure to have a “better” wedding. What the heck is wrong with me? Is this normal?
Post # 3
i hope it’s normal because i’m having the same feelings with a bridesmaid of mine (i’m also a bridesmaid in her wedding & we will have quite a few of the same guests).
Post # 4
Sure, that’s normal to some degree! It’s like if this other person is having a black tie affair at a five star restaurant and you are having a barefoot throwdown in the clay dirt at a park with nothing but candy for people to eat… then yeah there’s going to be a pretty significant disparity!
Don’t stress about it! You’re completely different people with different styles, so I’m sure both of your weddings will reflect who you are as individuals and as different couples 🙂
Post # 5
@alysee: I think it’s normal. I’m not competitive either but when my cousin got engaged a couple weeks after me I couldn’t help comparing her ring to mine (which is just stupid as mine is a moissy in a very non-traditional setting and hers is a solitare diamond!) and kind of want my wedding to be “better” or sooner! One of the reasons I’m having a big family wedding is that there hasn’t been one in years on either side. Now that she could very well be the one to break the long fast on our side, I’m kind of bummed. Again, totally stupid and it only is on my mind for brief moments, but it’s totally there.
Post # 6
Totally comparing my wedding to my friend who is also getting married but 3 months after me. I think she is going to have a lot of eliments I would want if I wasn’t from a traditional Catholic family. It makes me slightly jealous. But I see other things they are doing and how she is stressing herself out and look at my relatively stress free process and smile.
Post # 7
Yeah I can understand that.
My best friend and MOH got married last year. I know she’s trying to be helpful, but she keeps making suggestions from her wedding regarding colors, vendors, etc. Not only is my theme entirely different from hers, I’m in a totally different tax bracket.
She had a very upscale hair and makeup team come to the venue when we got ready, I’m thinking of going to a modest salon to cut cost and have everyone getting done at the same time (only 3 of us). She offered her professional makeup artist, I was planning on getting a friend who does it on the side and trying to build her business.
Also, my FI has some high-falootant family that I’m sure will have something to say about our down home BBQ catered, barn wedding. To that I say, F*C* YOU!!!
Post # 8
Don’t forget that there is a massive industry around trying to get you to spend as much as possible on things you don’t need, and never would have even thought of, if they weren’t there to remind you. THat’s not to say you shouldn’t have a beautiful, lovely wedding, but remember a lot of what you think of as ideal is the result of clever marketing – from diamonds to invitations to the kinds of chairs you have. You’re being marketed to. They WANT you to look at other people’s weddings with envy so that you’ll want to outspend them.
As long as you had a wedding you’re happy with, don’t worry about any of it 🙂
Post # 9
I’ve compared my wedding to both my cousin’s and my bridesmaid’s. I don’t know why I did, but I couldn’t help it!