Post # 1
Alright ladies. I need your opinion.
I love earrings, dangly, sparkly, big statement earrings. And I had planned on searching for a great pair of statement earrings for my wedding day. Also, I had planned on wearing my grandmother pearl necklace that was worn by her on her weddings day. My sister wore it when she got married too. That was the plan- simple, right?
So here is my dilemma: For Chrismas this year my Future Mother-In-Law bough a very nice, pretty expensive, set of pearl earrings with a matching pearl necklace. The earrings each have one pearl dangling from a sparkly stud the necklace is the same, a single pearl hanging from a sparkly matching pendent. They are beautiful, but not really statement pieces. Upon opening the box and seeing the set she explained that her mother bought my Future Sister-In-Law a similar set of pearl accessories for her wedding and she wanted to follow tradition. I expressed how much I liked them and how beautiful they were, and also mentioned that I have a strand of pearls that I’ve been waiting to wear all my life (but very politely of course). At the time there was so much going on with unwrapping presents that we moved on to the next gift. No heard feelings or awkwardness.
Now a few months later I’m wondering what I should do because my grandmothers pearls and the pearls she bough are two, obviously, different colors. Separately, they both go with my dress perfectly, but I feel they shouldn’t worn together. I haven’t looked for any statement earrings to go with my strand of pearls because I feel guilty about not wearing the ones my Future Mother-In-Law gifted me.
My sister suggested wearing the set for the ceremony, and the statement earrings with grams necklace for the reception, but I’m not sure.
I thought of wearing the gifted set to the other wedding events (shower, rehearsal). Whatever I choose should I explain that to my Future Mother-In-Law so her feelings aren’t hurt? She is very sentimental and thoughtful so I know she has the best intentions.
What would you do bees?
Post # 4
I’m a big fan of statement earrings so I definitely understand the dilemma. Personally, I think you should be able to wear exactly what you want for your wedding, and that sounds like it’s your grandmother’s pearls and your choice of earrings.
I understand the concern about having to break this to your Future Mother-In-Law… I think it sounds like a great compromise to wear the ones they gave you for your rehearsal dinner or any related events. That way she gets to see them, and you get what you want 🙂
Given that yours are already a family tradition, she should understand that kind of takes precedence over her new suggestion of a tradition… especially since you have mentioned that from the beginning so it shouldn’t come as a huge shock.
Either way, good luck!
Post # 5
Why don’t you wear FMIL’s set for the rehearsal, and your grandmother set with the statement earrings for the wedding?
Post # 6
I’d wear your grandma’s jewelry for the wedding and wear the set your Future Mother-In-Law got you for your shower and/or the rehearsal.
Post # 7
If I were you, I’d do what I had planned and wear the gifted set to the rehearsal dinner and other events. Then your Future Mother-In-Law sees that you like it enough to wear it and shouldn’t cause a fuss about the wedding day. If she does just tell her that you have traditions too and explain about your grandmothers set.
Post # 8
I’d go with your original plan for the wedding jewelry and wear the set from your Future Mother-In-Law for the rehearsal 🙂
Post # 9
Could you wear one of the necklaces as a bracelet? If so, then you can compromise: wear the fabulous statement earrings you picked out; wear one necklace around your neck; wear the other necklace as a bracelet.
If that’s not an option, I’d wear the heirloom necklace from your grandmother for the ceremony/reception. Maybe wear the set from your Future Mother-In-Law to the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 10
I totally agree with some of the pps who suggested that you wear your FMIL’s gift to the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner and to wear what you originally planned to wear for the wedding.
This way, Future Mother-In-Law will see her gift debut at a major wedding-related event and, seeing it there, will understand why she is not seeing it the next day at the wedding. Yes, I would definitely explain to her that you love it and want to wear it for the R/RD but that you have been waiting your entire life to wear Grandma’s pearls on your wedding day. The fact that you plan to pair them with some amazing statement earrings is not necessarily something you need to explain unless you want to do so.
Post # 11
Totally agree with everyone else that you should go with your plan and wear the FMIL’s gifts to the shower and/or rehearsal dinner. It’s super duper nice of your Future Mother-In-Law to give you a great gift and to want to continue the tradition, but it’s also a bit presumptuous of her to dictate what jewelry you wear, no?