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do it! it'll be fun!!! hehe no but seriously, this should be fun and not something that causes you stress. Who cares if you drop the napkin. I've actually seen most couples drop it at some point.
Ask you venue to have two chairs with arms for the hora. it's better for them, (less chances of an accident and a law suit). In fact many venues around here have special hora chairs that are larger with arms.
I'm not really looking forward to going up on the chair during the hora either - truthfully, I hated it at my Bat Mitzvah! Can you ask your venue if they have chairs with arms? Thats my solution - I figure the arms will give me something to grip and hold on to.
But I've seen it done many many times, and no one has ever been dropped or fallen off the chair!
I was totally excited to do the Hora at our wedding, though we didnt hold a napkin or anything. I held on to my chair for dear life (no arms, I held on to the back of the chair). The guys lifting us up didnt realize my dress weighed 20lbs so I had less guys than my DH did holding him up. It was really really fun but I did get scared because I started to dip forward. After a little bit I just told them to put me down but it was fun! Oh and my DH is not Jewish and Id say 95% of the guys lifting us up had never done it before in their lives.
Hold on for dear life!! That's my advice, and for sure you won't fall. Also, it's amazing how many guys will come hold the chairs, even guys who have never been to a Jewish wedding before will find themselves drawn to the crowd and helping to hold the chairs! I'm super scared for my wedding too, and I remember being scared at my brother's wedding which had what seemed like an hour-long hora that the siblings got put up in chairs too, but I held on for dear life and laughed the whole time!
You should do it! My fiance is refusing to go up in the chair and do the hora, and I'm so sad :-( Like you, he is scared of being dropped, and I also think he's worried that his family will think the hora is weird, since they're not Jewish. I'm still working on convincing him, but I think it might be a lost cause. Our wedding isn't a full-on Jewish wedding, so we don't really need to do the hora... I just want to anyways.
I enjoyed doing the Hora and even though the chair part was a big scary, it was also really fun!
It feels like you're up high in the air but then I saw pictures and was like, huh, I was not very high up at all, haha...
I think you should do it! My advice would be to tell the groomsmen in advance and specifically tell them not to drop you :)
I cant WAIT to do the hora!!! This is the thing I am most excited for abotu having some Jewish elements in our wedding!!!
thank you for all the tips! i never understood the napkin thing anyway, so that would be cool if we can forget that and just hold on for dear life! my planner has assured me that they will hunt down chairs with handles and that all the non-Jews will participate. so........we shall see....
We had a little more than half our guests who were non-Jews; they participated where they wanted and things went well. When it came time for the hora, most everyone danced or at least clapped. Come chair lift time, it was pretty much our Jewish friends (not even family) who held up our chairs and they didn't thrust us too high; we only stayed up there for about 1-2 minutes, got our kiss in and hopefully a lot of good photos, then they put us down.
You'll be fine; if you are worried, ask specific folks to be sure that they are involved in lifting the chairs. GL and have fun.
We so wanted to... until we saw the low ceilings in our venue! The walnut beams that run across the ceiling are beautiful, but we were just too worried about ending up with a concussion. :)
Wow! Reading this I'm thinking maybe I should tell my non-Jewish relatives beforehand that this will happen and to be PREPARED to come and help pick us up in the chairs! How many people usually hold each chair? I'm thinking 4- makes sense four posts to a chair....
OMG, I am terrified of this too! My cousin actually fell off at her wedding and it was horrible. Luckily, she was not hurt, just badly shaken up. I do not want that to happen to me. Also, I'm not a petite person, so I worry about people carrying me around!
It was so much fun! I highly recommend it. I wasn't raised Jewish and my mom had a blast up in the chair (although she would have had even more fun if they'd had arms). My dad ran away and hid because he's kind of a big guy.
As to how many people you want to help, I'd say 4-6 per person, minimum. That can include you and the dads helping when you're not up in the chair. And yes, it might be helpful to give your goyim friends a heads up that they should come help! Your DJ or band can also make the announcement.
they dropped my husband and he survived! we still had an amazing time. and i wouldn't worry about non jews not knowing what to do, it's very easy to catch on.
they dropped my MIL and she was fine, and they almost got me caught in a chandelier (I didn't even notice!) It was unbelievably fun, and even with these near missed, I wouldn't change a thing! Just hold on with at least one hand and you'll be fine!
Oh yeah, and we had a ton of people for whom this was their first horah, and they had no problem catching on and jumping in!
OMG it was awesome!!! did almost slip off but then i remembered i had a handle and held on for dear life!
I'm terrified of this as well. My man is Jewish and he said he did it at his bar mitzvah and enjoyed it ... this coming from the man that hates rides and such. So I suppose I will give it a shot.
I too was worried that our non-Jewish guests wouldn't participate, but everyone -- Chinese, Jewish, whatever -- got on the dance floor and had an amazing time.
Here's my recap of our Chewish hora: http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/11/25/æ„›-vey-this-is-the-hora-that-never-ends/
So long as you can relax, enjoy it, get a chair with arms or hold on for dear life, it'll be exhilarating and fun. And of course, if you are concerned, you can explain the hora in your program or invite some ringers -- bridal party, family, etc. -- to lead the dancing and to rally and corral the shy folks.
My husband is a "pagan," and I'm Catholic, and The Hora was a non-negotiable! They could barely get me up there, but they got my husband up fine! So much fun. We had a lot of Jewish guests, I grew up in a very Jewish community, and even the "Gentiles" knew what to do! Our band could not figure us out -Catholic ceremony...and The Hora?? GO FOR IT!!
I chose to do the hora right after our first dance, since it is a very easy dance for everyone to participate in. All of our guests danced the hora, and they stayed on the dance floor for the whole night. I think it's a great way to start your wedding.
It was also very stable - we had a lot of men volunteer to carry the chair, and I felt very secure up there.
My friends didn't have a napkin either. I believe she held onto the chair leg, as well.
Non-jewish guests will catch on really fast. Just have the outgoing Jewish women (and we know there are ALWAYS outgoing Jewish women) grab people and drag them into the circle. They may not get the whole "left over right, right over left" action, but they'll run sideways. It's always so much, and it gets people out of there seats and interacting with everyone!
funny but looking at the pictures from my hora, almost all the guys who are hoisting us on the chairs are not Jewish (Indian/Persian/Christian and then my dad). surprising but cool!
I just wanted to introduce myself as Nicky from The Wedding Yentas. We are a bridal blog, better known as The Guide for the Jewish Bride. However, anyone with any Jewish elements in their wedding can find pretty detailed answers to their questions on our site!
We actually wrote a post all about the hora. Not only does this teach you the hora if you want to know the right moves, it also explains the reason behind the napkin and of course to make sure ahead of time that your venue has chairs with arms. We don't want to ever hear of a bride sliding off her chair during the chair-lift portion of the hora!
Here is the link to the article: http://www.theweddingyentas.com/jewish-traditions/get-down-on-the-floor-a-dance-the-hora
Our goal is the be the best resource for Jewish wedding planning of any kind so if anyone reading this has questions about the hora, or anything else for that matter please feel free to ask us!
~Nicky
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okay i feel completely ridiculous writing about this, but i've been thinking a lot about it now that we're coming down to the nitty gritty details and making decisions......so....i am kind of scared of the hora and going up in the chair! i've never participated in the hora at any Jewish wedding i've been to. i am scared to be dropped/slip out of the chair, that people won't be able to lift me and FI, that i'll just freeze and look miserable, or drop the napkin or that FI will do any of these things etc etc. but i also feel that your wedding is the only opportunity to do this and that i would regret NOT doing it. and i think it makes great pics. my FI is Chinese, so he doesn't care either way. there will be many non-Jews there and what if they don't know what's they're supposed to do?? we are having a Jewish ceremony and there will be a decent number of Jews there who would hopefully be able to pull in guys to help with the chairs, but i don't know.
can some Jewish brides reassure me? tell me i should do it and that it will be fine? can i attach a seatbelt somehow???