Post # 1
My fiance is Jewish. He’s part of the reform movement, and is pretty laid back with his religious choices. I’m nothing. Not agnostic or atheist, just nothing. We are getting married by a Rabbi.
What kind of Jewish tradtions would be fun to add into the ceremony? We’re doing the glass smash, and we’ll probably have a Chuppah. I’m not walking around him 7 times. What else?
Post # 3
@taraesque: Are you interested in signing a ketubah? I love that our ketubah will hang in our house for the rest of our lives. I am just guessing that they make interfaith ketubahs.
Post # 4
I am looking for a Rabbi who would do Interfaith/Jewish. Where did you find yours?
Any details would be awesome.
Post # 5
@taraesque: You can do a candle ceremony, although it’s a little different in Judaism, it’s not a unity candle, and it’s pretty cool and symbolic and will entertain the guests!
Also traditionally both parents walk both the bride and groom up the aisle to chuppah. Pretty cool!
And this one I love… traditionally to have a yichud, where the bride and groom leave the ceremony together and have about 10-15 minutes of alone time in their room or a space in the reception area, where no one can enter or bother them. I think everyone, even non-Jewish, should do this! Some downtime together to let it sink in and celebrate intimately your first minutes together as a married couple! A neat thing to do is to have appetizers or desserts brought to your room and to feed them to each other, to symbolize how you will care for one another. My reception site is going to leave chocolate covered strawberries in our room for us! But he better not get chocolate on my dress!!!
Post # 6
I took my boyfriend to a [religious] Jewish wedding. His favorite parts, that he insisted we incorportate into our wedding were the glass breaking, being lifted up on chairs and shmorgishborg – BEFORE the ceremony.
We went to a [catholic] wedding two weeks later, the bride showed up about an hour late to the ceremony and all he did was moan about how if we had been at a JEWISH wedding, he’s at least have a plate of food. 🙂
Not sure what else we’ll be using as well… he grew up catholic but not relgious and is not practicing. I grew uo religious Jewish and while for the most part not practicing, I’m spirtual and traditional.
Post # 7
We did a “Jewish-style” wedding, since I’m Jewish and he’s interfaith but not religious. We found a wonderful reform rabbi to marry us. Another great resource if you are looking for a rabbi who will do an interfaith ceremony is http://www.interfaithfamily.com/. The website also has great information about ceremony traditions.
We did the chuppah, circling (although only 3 times – I did one, he did one, and we did one together), the blessings over the wine (including each holding the wine cup for the other as we drank), the 7 blessings (although more universal and without as many Jewish/religious references), breaking the glass, and yichud (a few moments in private after the ceremony – our venue had champagne and appetizers waiting for us).
We also had a ketubah. Ketubah.com has wonderful interfaith language options and beautiful non-religious designs. We did a ketubah-signing ceremony before the regular ceremony, and also read the ketubah aloud at the regular ceremony (my fiance and I turned around to face our guests, and with the help of index cards, we alternated reading sentences from our interfaith ketubah). Good luck and have fun designing your ceremony!
Post # 8
We’re also a Jewish/nothing combination. You might want to check out our ceremony, which you can find at this link. We did the 7 blessings. However, the English version was an interpretation of the spirit of them (with no mention of God), not a literal translation. We also had an interfaith ketubah.
Post # 9
Love hearing these stories as we are a nothing/Jewish combo as well. My FI is Jewish though not practicing but I love the traditions and cultural elements and want them to be a part of our ceremony.
We were not able to find a Rabbi in our area that will perform the marriage, they still are very resistant to interfaith unless you go Secular Humanist but I’m not against saying “God” in the ceremony and I like the traditional blessings.
I’m planning for us to be married under a Chuppah and to have a Ketubah, some of the interfaith designs are so beautiful and the language is very touching.
Hope more folks will share the details of their interfaith Jewish weddings!
Post # 10
We’re still in the planning phase, but have made some choices. We will have a chuppah, and the glass breaking, and the hora. His mother has graciously offered us a ketubah, which I think is very sweet of her. I’m still researching what to do, and his rabbi recommended the book “New Jewish Wedding” by Anita Diamant. (Which I’m still reading)
As for finding a rabbi, my fiance belongs to a reform temple so they aren’t as strict. We did dicuss whether my family was religious and approved of the wedding (they aren’t and they do). We have already agreed to raise his son in our house as Jewish, so he’ll get that heritage. I’m also taking Intro to Judiaism. I don’t plan on converting, but its a great crash course in the history and basics. I have my degree in Anthropology, so it’s just fascinating.
Post # 11
Maybe you can find some Jewish readings (non religious ones but ones you like) and work them into the vows or reception later.
Post # 12
@taraesque: You sound very similar to me, I did my degree in Religion and Culture and I find everything fascinating as well but I don’t plan on converting.
My FI is not religious but his parents attend a conservative synagog and his Dad is more devout of the two. His parents love us both and approve of the marriage, same with my side I was brought up in a secular household.
We also plan on raising our children Jewish. I think it’s important to continue the traditions of the Jewish people and I don’t have anything of my own to pass on.
I was reading up on some Reform Synagogs in my area and many don’t go by the matralinal rule that the mother must be Jewish for the child to be a Jew. They will accept if one parent is Jewish. I will be researching this more on the best path for us going that way or converting the children as infants.