Jitters *update*

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Hi there, I remember your other post. So glad you are doing ok. It sounds like you are moving in the right direction, just try to remember that nobody cares as much as you do. 90% of the people staring or giving you a hard time about it are just curious in passing, I imagine.

The hard part is over now, all those hard talks and telling everyone, so now you can just focus on your new place and new life. You won’t have to be divorced, and you won’t waste any more time. Awesome! Best of luck, I hope things die down quickly.

As for the pictures, I would get rid of all of them. Clean slate. But you don’t have to do it right away. (Of course, everyone is different when it comes to this stuff. If you decide you want them, you could always keep a few.) Hundreds and hundreds might not be good for your mental health. If I was going to go this route, I’d keep 2 or 3. Enough to have those memories, not enough to look through for hours.

**Hugs**

Post # 4
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

If it helps…I would say 110% you did the right thing.  Live your life and be happy!  People will forget and forgive.  When the next divorce or gossip hits your town..you will be old news.  At least you’re not DIVORCED 😀

Post # 6
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@aseratea:  I’m sorry you’re going through this. Since you live in a place where everyone likes to talk, I would say maybe try to fly under the radar for a while. They’re going to talk regardless, but at least if you’re not getting into it with anyone (or badmouthing your xFI) their chatter will be from them, not from you. You and he know the truth about how things were, and that’s what matters. Any time you spend trying to explain “your side” to anyone will make you look bitter.

Hang in there!

Post # 7
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

hi. i didnt comment on your last post but was wondering how you were getting along. ignore the gossip (hard i know) and just keep reiterating what you have said here. ”I wanted it to work out so bad that I ignored so many of the signs that we were incompatible”. let people take from that what they will,i personally think that those short few words speak volumes

wishing you all the very best on your brand new life 

(((hugs)))

Post # 9
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh, honey, I’m glad to see you update. You’ve been on my mind all week, and I’m glad that you’re doing okay. I know what you’re going through–I had essentially the same thing happen with my ex (except that I wasn’t “good enough” to marry), and my Other Guy is my FI. It almost seemed like there were people who did know how unhappy I was with him, which gave me something. I let myself get over him before I even moved out, so my “mourning period” was really short and now I just roll my eyes at how pathetic he was and still is. Maybe you and your ex can come to a middle ground, since you do live in a small town (unless you want to move)–I’m lucky in that I rarely see my ex, and I get to laugh at how he stomps around all pissy when he sees me, because I just remember all of the shit that he put me through.

People who are gossiping would have found something else to talk about if you hadn’t called it off, and it’ll die down eventually.

Post # 10
Member
4215 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I say book a flight to a nice resort for a bit and get away from it all.

 

Post # 11
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@aseratea:  *HUGS*  It’s hard to believe, but this too shall pass.  People won’t gossip forever and life moves on. That’s the only thing you can ever be sure of!! 

Post # 13
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@aseratea:  Happens ALL the time, and most people don’t want to admit it to themselves. It’s even harder when you’ve been together for so long that anything else is scary. But it gets better and easier.

Don’t worry about bothering me! If you need anything, you know where I’m at. <3

Post # 14
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

::hugs:: I’m really sorry for all that you’re going through. You absolutely did the right thing though. As much as people might be gossiping, I’m sure they would all agree that it’s best to call off a wedding if it isn’t right. Thing’s will get better soon!

 

Post # 16
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@aseratea:  <3 I thought about you a lot on that day, actually.

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