Post # 1
Hey bees! I’m in a position in life where I recently finished grad school but am working a job that would be considered slightly ‘underemployment.’ Opportunities in my area are limited, and if I cast my net to broader locations I believe I could find (in time) a job that pays more, is more challenging, and a better fit. Were I a single lady, I’d be willing to move for work, but considering that my SO is here with a job that’s very suited to him, if we were to move it’d be like one up one down no matter what.
Was just talking to a coworker in a similar situation- accepting his wife’s great new job offer in another city would mean him giving up his job and life here.
How do people deal with this? Being so early in my career I feel motivated to build and grow, and since hopefully wedding/house/baby is on the horizon for us I feel motivated to maximize my earning potential. But how do you juggle two people trying to build their careers at once.. it’s tough! Any thoughts or stories welcome!
Post # 3
Me and my So were in the same position two months ago. What we did was weigh very from the salary and benefits to the cost of living. It came down to who gotten the better offer and likelihood of the other finding employment. Most of my friends who are in a serious relationship did this. Talk to your SO and make sure that he would be open to a move in case it needed.
Post # 4
Can you both look for new jobs in a metro area? Somewhere with lots of work?
When DH got promoted to Boston, I wound up with a better job, too!
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
When we met I was living near Baltimore and Mr. LK was living near DC. The cities are not far apart, but because of having 2 cities close together, their metro areas crossover, traffic is a constant nightmare, and everything is expensive. When we decided to move in together we had to select where to live, and ultimately one of us was going to end up with the shorter commute/better end of the deal. We took a hard look at our respective career paths, job satisfaction, promotion potential, and family flexibility. We decided that since Mr. LK hated his job, it offered very little promotion potential, and was extremely unflexible for handling things like emergencies with DS, we would locate in an area that we could afford that was closer to my office. Basically, my job ticked off every checkbox and it made no sense for me to switch, so he would be the one to deal with the crappy commute while looking for a new job. It took 3 years, but he is now in a new job that he’s really excited about, he has a shorter commute than I do, and it has family-friendly policies. It wook a while, but now we both feel like we won.
Post # 6
We are currently looking at relocating (coast to coast!) because of an opportunity that I may have. What it came down to is my husband telling me that if I get an opportunity like this I can’t turn it down because they don’t come along that often. He will find something in the area and join me in a few months. He will be able to take a pay cut if needed just to move and keep looking if he wants to.
For now we are lucky to both work in the same industry and be located in the heart of most of the jobs in that industry (auto industry, near Detroit…).
Marriage is all about compromise and supporting each other when one of you has something good going. He knows because I tell him all the time, that if something like this came up for him I’d pack up the house and be there with him in a second.
So it is tough, but you’ll figure it out. Is he so happy that you’re willing to be underemployed for a few years in order for him to build a resume so that he can find a great job if you move? Or will your moving set you both up for greater long term success?