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I am having the exact same dilemma. I've been on a few interviews in the past month and have worn my ring to each. I don't know how much attention potential employers pay to them - I'm sure it's a case by case basis. I would certainly hope the ring would not influence their decision, but as you said, in this economy, you never know the specificity of what someone is looking for and who they are looking to hire. Hopefully someone here will have better advice for you. :)
ooh. good question. i just got a new job and it didnt even ocurr to me to not wear my ring to interviews until it was brought up to me by a former colleague. it didn't impede my search, per se, but i can see how it could have.
im no lawyer, but im pretty sure its totally illegal for an employer to not hire you bc you are getting married, but thats easier said than, well, *not* done. they're also really not allowed to ask about it (im pretty sure they also cant ask how old you are or if you plan to keep working after you have kids)
my suggestion is if you feel that its going to impede your job search or make you less hirable, there's no problem in not wearing it. if you got the job and then start wearing the ring to work and it comes up, its not like your new employer would ever say "well we never would have hired you if we knew you were getting married" and if they do, get it in writing and you have great fodder for a lawsuit!!!
i think it's a good question and will be interested to hear what others have to say...
I had a job interview and didn't think twice about it. My biggest concern was the question on why I moved across the country. I was honest and said my fiance got a job. They smiled and nodded but I don't think it affected the decision at all.
I have the same concern but for a different reason. I recently went to a job interview that was a huge group interview (20 applicants) where we all had to compete against each other. I know how tought the job market is right now and I needed a job so badly-- I took all of my expensive jewelry off and switched handbags (I usually carry a designer one that was a gift)
I didn't want my jewelry to work against me. I wanted to look nice but not *too* nice, you know? I needed the job-- and I got it.
I might have the same concerns with wearing a big honkin diamond (although I don't have an E-ring yet)
I'd take it off. They can't complain that you weren't honest later. Rings are symbols, not actual engagements. Moreover, employers aren't allowed to discriminate based on marital status. Also, if you have a particularly large ring, people may figure you don't need as high a salary because your FI makes money. I know it's ridiculous and I hate that I even think this way, but in academia, where I am, people are really hyper about jewelry. I'm planning on buying a plainer wedding band for job interviews, actually...
No, I don't think you're over analyzing this at all. There are employers who will see your ring and not only think of maternity leave, but the more immediate issue: you taking time off for your wedding/honeymoon and your productivity on the days leading up to your wedding. It is a valid concern but not one that should be a deal breaker. So, if you choose not to wear the ring, be sure to show up with it one day and announce your "very new" engagement, so they don't think you were misleading them!
I had this same thought when I was interviewing earlier this year. I noticed at a few interviews I was asked when my wedding was, and I thought that people may be worried about taking lots of time off around the wedding. I was considering not wearing it when I ended up getting a job anyway.
I think the biggest concern by employers would be that you may be taking a lot of time off for your wedding/honeymoon/etc.
I say take it off for the interview. I haven't been in this sitaution but from reading the post I guess it can make an impact. I'm just really surprised it can be an issue...crazy! Once you get hired somewhere you can continue to wear it as you normally do!
I don't think you're being paranoid at all. Especially in this job market, I think employers look at anything and everything to help decide between candidates, and this is probably something they can get away with without admitting to it, they can always say their decision was based on something else.
I'd take it off. I hate that it's necessary to do that, but it's not relevant to how good you'd be at the job and I wouldn't give the chance to discriminate.
a ring could also mean stability-you are settling down and probably buying a house soon and tied to an area now...but also some see maternity leave and honeymoons. such a tough call!
you are definitely not crazy for worrying about this-i always stress out about how to approach it when they ask why i want to live in the city im interviewing in (its cause of my fiance...so i have to tell them im engaged pretty much!)
It is illegal for them not to hire someone based on their marital status. They can however ask if you can committ to the work schedule. Most people will end up telling them that they have kids that they might need to pick-up from school etc. Or in your case, I'll need off the week of my wedding/honeymoon.
They also aren't suppose to hire based on age, gender or race. But you never know what they are really thinking or looking for.
If you think it hurt your chances before then just take it off.
I was told by both my university's career counselor and a professor that women should not wear their engagment rings on job interviews. Men on the other hand should, since they will soon have a wife and family to provide for.
It's a ridiculous way of thinking, but unfortunately it's probably pretty accurate. Even in an era where 2 income families are the norm employers still feel that a married woman (and heaven forbid she has children) isn't going to make work her #1 priority.
I don't know what the interviewers are thinking or if it had any direct impact, but I do know that I haven't received a job offer from any firm where I wore my engagement ring, and I did receive offers from some of the firms where I didn't wear it during the interview. So I would counsel against wearing it in an interview. Whether they are allowed to consider your marital status or not, I wouldn't invite added scrutiny.
This happened to a former coworker of mine. She got hired on not long after I did. Apparently she didn't wear her ring at our interview, and when they made her an offer, she asked if she could take a certain week off (like, right after she got hired.) They were really flexible and said sure you can just start after that. They asked her what the week off was for (after all the hiring, just friendly talk) and she admitted she was getting married and it was her honeymoon! She said she didn't get a job because of her ering previously (I don't know if she assumed or was actually told!) and we all agreed "oh that's ridiculous" knowing that our company would enver discriminate against that.
However- after being laid off and having the same issue, I know other companies could! I would take it off! (i did for most interviews however I kept it on for the job I have now- but they're all married men and I am SURE they ddin't notice.)
It is illegal for them to not hire you because you are engaged. They shouldn't even ask about it. but of course people do because they see it as just getting to know you.
Here is my 2 cents:
A job interview is as much for you to learn about the company, as for them to learn about you. If it is the kind of place that wouldn't hire you because you are engaged, would you really want to work there anyways??? Even if they assume that you would be having a baby someday, wouldn't you want to work in an environment that was supported the work/life balance?
In every interview I've had, personal life comes up. They are feeling you out--how long-term of an employee are you? Do you like the area enough to stay 5+ years? Or are you going to let us train you, then up and leave in a year? Stuff like that.
I wear all my regular jewelry to interviews (i actually "upgrade" to my nice pearls and diamond earrings, too), a banana republic suit, nice shoes, and everything. I think it depends on the job market you are in, but in mine (engineering/professional) what you wear and how you dress makes you come across as ready to take on this job or as a sloppy just graduated college student. I do wear my hair back (always) and I always wear heels and hose. Usually men interview me, so I dress conservatively with a small amount of color. BUT, from what I've gathered from HR people (one helped me get my internship), it makes you look savvy and put-together. For women, it just makes you look professional to be properly accessorized with appropriate makeup on and not-sloppy hair. This i was told by a major college recruitor, a male.
I didn't have my real e-ring at the time I interviewed (I did have a modest diamond and amethyst ring though), but everybody KNEW i was technically engaged (since i had driven 2 hours for the interview and gotten dropped off since it was a few days before FI's deployment) and it only boded well for me. My company is a huuuuge military supporter so dropping the "My guy's in the military" bomb was actually a big plus for me and worked to my benefit b/c I could talk about why I felt passionately about supporting a company that kept our boys safe overseas. I talked about how his family is here and how even though my guy was going to be deployed/stationed further away, StL was my home and I wasn't going anywhere. So i did have that whole "we're going to start a family here" cemented into their head.
Granted, women don't go to college to become engineers just to become stay at home moms--most women engineers keep their job after having a baby so it's not as big of an issue in my field I think. Also, most engineering companies really want to hire women to up their diversity. So, for me, in my field, it works for me. But I can easily see where it would work against you.
From another perspective, I work on all the recruitments at my company, and I've never noticed e-rings or wedding rings on candidates applying for a job. I've also never heard an interview panel comment on someone's possible marital or pregnancy status. I'm sure some people think it, but it's never come up in our hirings because it's against the law. Besides that, we're usually more concerned with finding the right person for the job than the fact that the candidate might have to take off a week or two for a honeymoon. It's more important to find someone who will be a good employee at our company for years to come than find someone who can start tomorrow and never take time off but sucks at the job.
That being said, I think it's usually better to go into interviews dressed so the interviewer can concentrate on your words instead of what you're wearing. In my experience, the people who get the job are the ones who come in dressed in nice plain clothes, without too much/too flashy makeup or jewelry. It allows the interviewer to not be distracted by how you look and think more about what's coming out of your mouth. Good luck on getting the job!
I think it is definitely something to think about, wearing the E-ring on the interview but it definitely depends on your field. For example, I teach PE to lil ones (Pre-K, K and 1st grade) and when I was interviewing, the Head of the School noticed my ring and got very excited about my engagement. I think in some professions, being engaged can actually help (such as in my case) get you a job. It can also give you and the interviewer (if it's a girl) something to talk about and connect on a personal level, which is huge in interviews....Good luck!!!
Hmmm I never even thought about this! I'm planning on starting a search for a new job next year and now I'm paranoid about wearing it! I don't think FI would like it if I didn't wear it, though. But I guess he'd ultimately rather see me in a job I don't despise...
But seriously, that really sucks that that could potentially be a factor in someone's decision. My being engaged had ZERO to do with whether I would make a valuable addition to a company and whether or not I do my job well. To me that reeks of sexism. It's one of those things that could never be proven, either, because they could make up whatever excuse they want for why they hired someone else. So aggravating.
Thanks everyone for your input! I'm glad there was some merit to my worrying. I decided that I will not be wearing my e-ring tomorrow for the interview. FI is very supportive about the decision and would rather I do whatever I feel needed to be competitive for the position.
Hmmm I don't think it's that big of a deal, it's crazy if someone makes it into such!!! I wonder though because a lot of people don't wear wedding bands and only wear the e-ring...are they discriminated against as well?! I remember when i had my HUGE e-ring from my ex-fi and it was the talk of the friggin' office and to be honest with you i did get less assignments after the proposal, i guess it appeared that we didn't "need" as much as everyone else.
I've heard from friends & such that it's hard to get a job when you're wearing an engagement ring or they find out you're getting married. It's really annoying & it's making me paranoid for my job search (which I should be starting now). I'll be graduation college three months before my wedding, so it's going to be hard getting a job & then asking for a week off. But, we'll see. Good luck!
In my field, which is predominately men (many of whom make a lot of money and have stay-at-home wives), this issue can't be avoided . Here's the harsh, yet realistic, advice I was given by a good friend (male, same field) -- if you are particularly young/pretty and/or your e-ring is particularly large/flashy, then don't wear it. If you are particularly older/plain and/or your ring is small/simple, then wear it.
Take it for what it is -- an opinion -- but I tednd to think that, however fair/unfair, it's pretty good advice for interviewing in my field or another like it.
@chicagobridetobe--that goes along with what I was told with "simple, non-sexist styled hair and makeup" ie wear some, but pull it back and dont' go crazy! It's very sexist and unfair, but it is DEFINITELY the truth. Nobody wants a distracting newbie in their office. I really tone down my everyday makeup for interviews. Not that I wear a lot in general, but to me, I look plainer, but it does the trick. I don't think i'd ever have gotten my job if i'd worn my long blonde hair down and curled and vamped up the eye makeup. Unless you're in fashion, it won't get you taken seriously! Now that I;ve been there for 14 months, I can wear cutesy stuff--today it was a frilly blouse from Limited. I always feel like you can show more personality and/or shine AFTER you get your foot in the door.
sucks, but it was darn good advice unfortunately.
You could spin the ring around so the big rock isn't that obvious, if you're really concerned but want to keep it on. Other than that, all you can do is be honest!
I never thought about it. I don't think I would take it off, but I see your concern. I don't think that a wedding necessarily means "ohh! Baby on the way!" A lot of people wait a few years, nowadays. I would be moreso thinking "oh she is getting married, she is going to be really preoccupied with her wedding and her job performance may suffer as a result."
If you are having doubts over getting a job, then I would take it off. I just don't have the mindsight, so for myself, I would leave it on.
Wow this is a tough one and I really think it could go either way. On one hand, employers may prefer single women because they're less likely to need reduced hours and/or more vacation time. But on the other hand, they may prefer engaged/married women because they are more stable and might have more financial obligations tying them to that paycheck. I have actually worn a band on my ring finger for interviews because I know I look really young and I think that looking married makes me appear older.
i think the best thing to do is be honest. i couldn't avoid the question at my last interview...my FBIL works for the company and i was asked if i knew any of their employees. i had to be honest, said yes and they asked how i knew him. um he's my FBIL but he doesn't even know i'm here. she laughed and said too bad he didn't know i was there because if i got hired he would get an incentive for refering family...needless to say it all worked out so i think it just depends on the company
I'm in this same situation and I've decided I'm going to leave my e-ring at home for interviews. I don't want my e-ring to be a distraction when interviewing.
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Okay bees not sure where to post this one but here it goes.
I have a job interview in a few days and I've been debating whether or not I should wear my e-ring. The last time I was at a job interview, one of members of the panel would not stop staring at it.
Here's the thing. In a very competitive job market, I think employers use a fine comb over each candidate. My feeling is that most companies would rather avoid hiring newlyweds or engaged people because (and this is going to sound stupid) of the possible impending mat leave. All of this came about after a conversation with an ex-manager who admitted as much. Hence when I saw the interviewer looking at my ring, this was all I could think about.
Am I being paranoid or what?