Post # 1
Okay bees not sure where to post this one but here it goes.
I have a job interview in a few days and I’ve been debating whether or not I should wear my e-ring. The last time I was at a job interview, one of members of the panel would not stop staring at it.
Here’s the thing. In a very competitive job market, I think employers use a fine comb over each candidate. My feeling is that most companies would rather avoid hiring newlyweds or engaged people because (and this is going to sound stupid) of the possible impending mat leave. All of this came about after a conversation with an ex-manager who admitted as much. Hence when I saw the interviewer looking at my ring, this was all I could think about.
Am I being paranoid or what?
Post # 3
I am having the exact same dilemma. I’ve been on a few interviews in the past month and have worn my ring to each. I don’t know how much attention potential employers pay to them – I’m sure it’s a case by case basis. I would certainly hope the ring would not influence their decision, but as you said, in this economy, you never know the specificity of what someone is looking for and who they are looking to hire. Hopefully someone here will have better advice for you. 🙂
Post # 4
ooh. good question. i just got a new job and it didnt even ocurr to me to not wear my ring to interviews until it was brought up to me by a former colleague. it didn’t impede my search, per se, but i can see how it could have.
im no lawyer, but im pretty sure its totally illegal for an employer to not hire you bc you are getting married, but thats easier said than, well, *not* done. they’re also really not allowed to ask about it (im pretty sure they also cant ask how old you are or if you plan to keep working after you have kids)
my suggestion is if you feel that its going to impede your job search or make you less hirable, there’s no problem in not wearing it. if you got the job and then start wearing the ring to work and it comes up, its not like your new employer would ever say “well we never would have hired you if we knew you were getting married” and if they do, get it in writing and you have great fodder for a lawsuit!!!
i think it’s a good question and will be interested to hear what others have to say…
Post # 5
I had a job interview and didn’t think twice about it. My biggest concern was the question on why I moved across the country. I was honest and said my fiance got a job. They smiled and nodded but I don’t think it affected the decision at all.
Post # 6
I have the same concern but for a different reason. I recently went to a job interview that was a huge group interview (20 applicants) where we all had to compete against each other. I know how tought the job market is right now and I needed a job so badly– I took all of my expensive jewelry off and switched handbags (I usually carry a designer one that was a gift)
I didn’t want my jewelry to work against me. I wanted to look nice but not *too* nice, you know? I needed the job– and I got it.
I might have the same concerns with wearing a big honkin diamond (although I don’t have an E-ring yet)
Post # 7
I’d take it off. They can’t complain that you weren’t honest later. Rings are symbols, not actual engagements. Moreover, employers aren’t allowed to discriminate based on marital status. Also, if you have a particularly large ring, people may figure you don’t need as high a salary because your FI makes money. I know it’s ridiculous and I hate that I even think this way, but in academia, where I am, people are really hyper about jewelry. I’m planning on buying a plainer wedding band for job interviews, actually…
Post # 8
No, I don’t think you’re over analyzing this at all. There are employers who will see your ring and not only think of maternity leave, but the more immediate issue: you taking time off for your wedding/honeymoon and your productivity on the days leading up to your wedding. It is a valid concern but not one that should be a deal breaker. So, if you choose not to wear the ring, be sure to show up with it one day and announce your “very new” engagement, so they don’t think you were misleading them!
Post # 9
I had this same thought when I was interviewing earlier this year. I noticed at a few interviews I was asked when my wedding was, and I thought that people may be worried about taking lots of time off around the wedding. I was considering not wearing it when I ended up getting a job anyway.
I think the biggest concern by employers would be that you may be taking a lot of time off for your wedding/honeymoon/etc.
Post # 10
I say take it off for the interview. I haven’t been in this sitaution but from reading the post I guess it can make an impact. I’m just really surprised it can be an issue…crazy! Once you get hired somewhere you can continue to wear it as you normally do!
Post # 11
I don’t think you’re being paranoid at all. Especially in this job market, I think employers look at anything and everything to help decide between candidates, and this is probably something they can get away with without admitting to it, they can always say their decision was based on something else.
I’d take it off. I hate that it’s necessary to do that, but it’s not relevant to how good you’d be at the job and I wouldn’t give the chance to discriminate.
Post # 12
a ring could also mean stability-you are settling down and probably buying a house soon and tied to an area now…but also some see maternity leave and honeymoons. such a tough call!
you are definitely not crazy for worrying about this-i always stress out about how to approach it when they ask why i want to live in the city im interviewing in (its cause of my fiance…so i have to tell them im engaged pretty much!)
Post # 13
It is illegal for them not to hire someone based on their marital status. They can however ask if you can committ to the work schedule. Most people will end up telling them that they have kids that they might need to pick-up from school etc. Or in your case, I’ll need off the week of my wedding/honeymoon.
They also aren’t suppose to hire based on age, gender or race. But you never know what they are really thinking or looking for.
If you think it hurt your chances before then just take it off.
Post # 14
I was told by both my university’s career counselor and a professor that women should not wear their engagment rings on job interviews. Men on the other hand should, since they will soon have a wife and family to provide for.
It’s a ridiculous way of thinking, but unfortunately it’s probably pretty accurate. Even in an era where 2 income families are the norm employers still feel that a married woman (and heaven forbid she has children) isn’t going to make work her #1 priority.
Post # 15
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I don’t know what the interviewers are thinking or if it had any direct impact, but I do know that I haven’t received a job offer from any firm where I wore my engagement ring, and I did receive offers from some of the firms where I didn’t wear it during the interview. So I would counsel against wearing it in an interview. Whether they are allowed to consider your marital status or not, I wouldn’t invite added scrutiny.
Post # 16
This happened to a former coworker of mine. She got hired on not long after I did. Apparently she didn’t wear her ring at our interview, and when they made her an offer, she asked if she could take a certain week off (like, right after she got hired.) They were really flexible and said sure you can just start after that. They asked her what the week off was for (after all the hiring, just friendly talk) and she admitted she was getting married and it was her honeymoon! She said she didn’t get a job because of her ering previously (I don’t know if she assumed or was actually told!) and we all agreed “oh that’s ridiculous” knowing that our company would enver discriminate against that.
However- after being laid off and having the same issue, I know other companies could! I would take it off! (i did for most interviews however I kept it on for the job I have now- but they’re all married men and I am SURE they ddin’t notice.)