Post # 1
First, I just want to say how grateful I am to have a job and the opportunities available to me. Thank you in advance for your time, understanding, and consideration.
My FI and I each commute an hour to work in opposite directions and love our jobs. FI works at least 48 hours a week regularly (6 days) and during busy times it’s more like 80 hours per week with the commute. Because the busy times come in cycles, his company can’t justify hiring another employee to help him (not to mention it’s a niche industry and experienced employees are hard to find). Due to the nature of his job, he can’t work from home either.
At the end of the day, we can barely keep up with housework and grocery shopping let alone having a social life. More importantly, FI keeps falling asleep driving so we’re at the point where we need to move before he/others get really hurt. Since his salary is double mine and our friends live near where he works, we want to move closer to his job.
Yet, I love my job, my bosses (although my manager may be leaving, too), and my coworkers. What should I do? Here are the options I see:
1. Try to work from home on Mondays and Fridays (don’t want to work from home all the time even if I could), drive 1.5+ hours to work Tuesday morning, stay nearby with parents Tuesday and Wednesday nights, and drive 1.5 hours home Thursday evening. With this option, I may have to continue living pretty much paycheck to paycheck (not helpful when trying to save for a wedding). On the other hand, FI would probably be agreeable to paying 75% of expenses rather than 50% as we are now, especially with the decrease in his commuting costs which total over $10k per year.
2. Accept a less desirable job (assuming I’m offered one) closer to my FI’s work.
3. Stick with number 1 until I can find a desirable job closer to my FI’s work and feel guilty about potentially making my FI lonely two nights a week and taking advantage of my bosses (who are aware of the situation and trying to keep me at the company). Nevertheless, I’ve been trying to find “the job” since March and there’s a good chance I still won’t be able to find it for some so I could at least stay at my beloved job a little longer.
Post # 3
@kaa32: I would work at your job until you can find another. My mom used to drive 2 hours each way to her job… and after a couple of years they let her work from home a couple days a week. She did what she had to, to look after my sister and I.
I don’t think it’s practical to do that arrangement long-term… but I think it also might be a bad idea to give the job up right away in case you can’t find another.
See if you can get a raise and/or work from home a couple of days… there must be something they’re willing to bend on if they’re trying to keep you there.
Post # 4
@canarydiamond: Thanks for the advice. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person.
Post # 5
@kaa32: I say option 3. Agreed with @canarydiamond: totally.
Post # 6
What do you do for a living? Have you investigated jobs in your field where you would be potentially living? If you think you would be able to find a comparable job within a year, I would absolutely work out some sort of work-at-home/commute balance for your current position. But if your staying behind makes sense for the now, you and your FI might just have to do it.
We are lucky enough to live within a 35-minute public transit commute (with one transfer) from my office and a 20-minute drive from FI’s work. But, there are plenty of people in my office who have some pretty insane (for me) commutes. We are in Philadelphia, but I know people who take Amtrak from Baltimore and Harrisburg (centralish PA). We also have some full-time work-at-home people who are out of state. But, the work my company does isn’t done everywhere and the benefits are amazing, so people do what they have to do!
Post # 7
I work 2 hours from home. My position is part time so I work three days per week. One day I make the round trip and one night I stay overnight so I only have to drive one way each of those days. It works for now.
Post # 8
@ChuckNorris: Thanks for the advice!
Post # 9
@MeghN: Thanks for your advice. My job is to figure out how to use technology to make the company run more efficiently and make people’s jobs easier. It can be applied to any industry and is in pretty high demand given the current state of the economy.
I was able to obtain the position I was looking for in a company similar to my own, but perhaps a little less developed. It will be very exciting to help them as they expand. Although the hiring manager doesn’t have a background in my desired field, he understands it, seems dedicated to helping me grow, and provided me with a generous offer. I have high hopes and will try my best to make them proud.
Post # 10
Another option: how often is it “busy”? If it’s only a few weeks of the year that you’re worried for his safety, it might just make more sense for him to either a) get a hotel for a few bad nights, or b) see if any of your friends in the area have a spare bedroom he could borrow for a nominal fee (or just get them a really nice gift/getaway, depending on how many weeks in a year it is); since he’s always working it’s not really much of an imposition. It would suck that you wouldn’t see him much during busy times, but I’m guessing you don’t really anyway, and this might be a good short-term (6 mos to 2 years) solution until you find something else closer to his work.