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Joining bank accounts?

posted 5 months ago in Money
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    1.
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    Newbee
    hummingbirdkrista    October 15, 2013  

    Howdy everyone,

     

    So Heres a somewhat touchy subject.  When did you and your SO start a joint checking? 

    Matt and I have been together almost 3.5 years now(Living togther for almost all but 3 months of that) and hes about to go back to school and cut down on work hours.... i want to add him to my bank account for ease of making house payments, bills, saving, ect.  However alot of people have told me not to do this.  We're getting married (Eventually >_>) and I truly dont see us 'breaking up'...  I really want to do it mostly for the ease of "hey i need you to pick this up from the store for me" Or "Bills are due and i have all the money right here"
    In case you cant tell,  i handle the money. lol.

    I was thinking of adding on an additional checking account under my primary account.  That way he still has 'his' money and i have easier access to everything as does he incase he needs it or i need to pay a bill or something..

    Thoughts?

     
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    Sugar bee
    claireos    September 8, 2012   Maryland

    We didn't combine accounts till we were married. Why? My reasoning was that while we gads no plans to break up (and really, who plans on that happening?) shit does happen. Until we were locked in legally then we wouldn't be locked in financially. Not saying that's a bad idea. People do what you are wanting to do and are fine. In just sharing why I waited. It was also a way of protecting myself pre marriage since I make significantly more than my husband. 

     
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    IUrebekah3RT    June 21, 2013   Cincinnati, OH

    @hummingbirdkrista:  we joined when were got engaged. We have a joint account that pays our mortgage & house related bills. We a maintain our own personal checking accounts for everyday things such as gas money, shopping, or errands. I wouldn't suggest combining any finances until you are, at the very least, engaged with wedding plans. There are many stories where someone didnt think they would break up - and they did. Just look at the "emotional" boards!!! I would never allow him access to my personal checking account. I do not have access to his personal account either. He only has access to our joint account. 

    Maybe you two could open up a joint checking account as well since you're wanting it to pay home bills. We have also been able to save a lot more now since we have the joint account. we put about 1/2 of our bi-weekly checks into that account which more than covers our monthly house bills. It's provided us a nice cushion without really trying to save. 

     
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    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    We combined when we bought a house together and were engaged.  To me it wasn't that big of a deal, but you might want to keep another account on the side (that he knows about) with extra money.

     
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    Honey bee
    throughthebarricades    September 29, 2013   Canada

    We're not engaged yet but we live together. My guy is good with $$ and does my finances for me. He makes a budget for me, I stick to the budget, and he moves the money around in my accounts, pays bills etc. I log in for him so he can do it, but we don't have anything combined per se. Maybe you could try something similar?

    I think when we marry we'll then open a joint account but we'll still keep our individual chequing accounts and so on.

     
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    Bumble bee
    pinkfrog    October 20, 2012   South Jersey

    Before we were married, DH and I got checking accounts at the same bank, which had a way for us to transfer money to each other's accounts online without having access to withdrawing the money from each other's accounts.  The transfers happened within 24 hours, so it wasn't like it took forever (during business hours they were immediate).  Could you consider something like that?

     
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    Sugar bee
    elysion    August 17, 2013   Chicago, IL

    We set up a joint checking account when we moved in together (pre engagement), and opened a credit card in his name but with me as a cardholder or whatever when we got engaged.  I didn't see us ever breaking up, and it just made sense in terms of paying bills, rent, groceries, etc.  We do each have our own separate accounts, though.

     

     
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    Busy bee
    KellyLouise    July 6, 2012   Australia

    I handle our money/bills too. We both switched to the same bank at about 1.5 years (we got married at 3.5 years, have lived together since 1 month after we met) and opened an account each + one joint account. It was for the convenience of paying bills mostly. We now have another joint account for saving so we each have 3 accounts, 1 personal acc, 1 joint bills acc, 1 joint savings acc. we closed any other accounts & now just work with the 1 bank.

    we earn the same & both started our relationship with nothing

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Pomapoo    May 6, 2011   Maryland

    We didn't get a joint account together (well, what really happened was we transferred everything in my account into his, then closed mine, and made his a joint account) until I had officially changed my name, which was maybe a couple weeks after the honeymoon.  We did this because banks want to see your driver's license and make your checks based on that, so we wanted to both have the same last name before we got our checks.

    By the time we got married, we already owned a house together and shared a credit card.  Before we got engaged, we'd add up how much each of us spent on the credit card and withdraw accordingly to pay the bills, but once we were engaged and knew we were about to share money, we didn't really bother with carefully counting out "who owes what" each month.

     
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    Honey bee
    AB Bride    June 25, 2011   Canada

    We didn't until we were married.  I don't think that having a joint chequing account would put you at too much risk though, just keep your savings separate.

     
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    Blushing bee
    wbg21    July 20, 2013  

    Our personal bank accounts are connected to each other. I can transfer money instantly to his account and he can transfer money instantly to mine. Since we bank with the same bank it is free. He cannot get into my personal account and take money out and I cannot get into his, so it's pretty safe if people are worried about you creating a joint banking. (However, we know each other's passwords so there's that. lol)

    FI and I also have a joint account, but honestly, money is not a big deal between the two of us. If bills need to be paid one of us will transfer money into the joint account (if needed) and pay it. We use the joint account for paying bills (mortgage, water, gas, electricity, insurance, etc), makes it a heck of a lot easier to track payments.

     
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    crocodile    May 20, 2015  

    when we moved in together (just like a year in to our relationship) I got a credit card with him as a second card-holder.  All our shared expenses (groceries, bathroom stuff, netflix bill, internet bill, new sheets, ikea furniture, etc) goes on that.  Each month, I receive the statement, notify him, and we each pay 50% of the bill.  We've also used this card to buy plane tickets or cover hotels when we travel, and to pay for restaurant bills when we eat out together.  We have a very clear understanding that this card is ONLY for use on things which are shared expenses.  obviously he's very trustworthy, and we've never had any problems with this system.  I'm not so comfortable with the idea of joint accounts before marriage so this has been an excellent compromise.

     
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    GypsyLove    June 9, 2012   <3

    We combined our accounts a month or so after moving in together.  It just made things so much easier, & made me feel like i was actually contributing.  My best friend and her husband have been together way longer than us & they still maintain completely seperate accounts.  It works great for them...its just whatever you feel comfortable doing as a couple

     
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    Helper bee
    laurel946    December 31, 2013   Minnesota

    SO and I have seperate accounts at the same credit union, which allows us both to have control over our own money but we can instantly transfer money from one to the other which is how we pay for stuff that is combined! We also have a joint savings for future wedding, and when we are married we will ditch our other accounts for that one account. I think it is better to seperate them until you have a committment, because you never know :/

     
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    Helper bee
    jdhall89    August 1, 2014   Seattle, WA

    We created a separate joint checking account before we went abroad for a semester together.  We said it was for travel, but really, it was just a lot easier to split expenses and not worry about who's paying who back.

    When we moved in together we got a joint credit card.  We still keep separate accounts, so our direct deposit goes into our personal accounts, then we transfer money into the account that pays rent/utilities/bills.  We buy groceries/house stuff/dates on the joint cards, and personal stuff like clothes or beers with friends on our own accounts

    When we get married, our plan is to have all the money go to the same place, but with equal discretionary "allowances" in personal accounts.  

    Honestly, though, it doesn't matter at all.  Neither of us brought any money into the relationship, and we earn about the same, and it'll be officially combined in two years, so it's mostly symbolically separate.

     
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    Sugar bee
    armychica06    December 8, 2012   CT

    We got a joint account a few months before the wedding. The joint account is there to transfer money in and out of, we both operate from our own single accounts. I like this set up as my fiancé tends to be a spender and I don't want to fight about money.

     
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    Blushing bee
    FutureMrsLAL    October 5, 2013   Upstate NY

    We had a different school of thought than most people, but this is what works for us...

    We initially got a joint account when we started living together, which was about 2 years prior to getting engaged. The thought was that we would each have our own separate checking & savings accounts, and then one joint checking & savings account where we would feed money for joint expenses... HOWEVER, that just made things complicated with more paperwork and money-transfers than we felt necessary, and that didn't last but a few months...

    So we each decided to do away with our separate individual checking/savings accounts and just do the one-big-pot where everything is joint.  All of our money is together in one place, and there is no "yours" or "mine" -- it's all OURS. We don't "split" bills. We don't keep score of whose paycheck was more, or whatever. And we use a common-sense method of spending money from the account since we're aware of the obviously mutual responsibility to each other.

    We are both very lucky that we happen to have the exact same values and habits, so operating out of one account has been way easy for us. We have never, ever had a single disagreement this way, and it's been like this for three years.

     
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    Honey bee
    sienna76    August 28, 2012   Live in Utah; eloped to British Columbia

    @hummingbirdkrista:  We combined incomes after we were engaged, then I moved in to his house.  I closed my checking and was added to his since all the bills came from his checking already (not a new account).

    We are in our 30s, had been to gether 3 years at that time, have very similar money values, a financial plan; I did not feel any risk about joining accounts prior to marriage. 

    Heck, I was married before in my 20s and my ex and I didn't merge money at all - because he was so bad with it and we did not mesh with money values.  I did not want him bringing me down. 

    Soooooo much different now.  I dont think anyone's opinion on our method would have swayed me one bit.  We had a game plan and we were sticking with it. 

     

     
    19.
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    Worker bee
    breeeonaaa    August 8, 2013   New Jersey

    me and my FI got a joint account a little after getting engaged and it was before he deployed so it worked for us. we were planning on getting our place and starting our lives so me having access to all the money really helped. if you are worried about breaking up, get a separate account as well. me and my FI have one shared accounts but we still have our own checking and savings accounts. 

     
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    Blushing bee
    AllieLaLa    September 6, 2014  

    SO and I got a joint account shortly after moving in together (probably about 6 months into the relationship) We still have seperate accounts at different banks on top of that,  but we typically don't use them unless it's saving for a special occasion like our birthdays or Christmas gifts. I make more than he does, but we talk about money in terms of what "we" have and "our money" and it's been working out great for the last year that way. I think it's really all about what you feel comfortable with as a couple. I know married couples who have been together for a decade plus and don't combine finances in any way. They still split the mortgage on their home and pay their share of the bills. Different things work for different couples.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Asia    September 2, 2013   Kansas

    We lived together a year and had been dating for four before we joined accounts. We both still havea  seperate account, but we have one together for regular expenses (rent, car payment, groceries, yada yada) However, we only joined acocunts when we were both clear that our official engagement (we'd already agreed to marry each toher) was close (about 3 months away)

     

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