Joining bank accounts?

posted 1 year ago in Money
Member
2923 posts
Sugar bee

We didn’t combine accounts till we were married. Why? My reasoning was that while we gads no plans to break up (and really, who plans on that happening?) shit does happen. Until we were locked in legally then we wouldn’t be locked in financially. Not saying that’s a bad idea. People do what you are wanting to do and are fine. In just sharing why I waited. It was also a way of protecting myself pre marriage since I make significantly more than my husband. 

Member
1384 posts
Bumble bee

@hummingbirdkrista:  we joined when were got engaged. We have a joint account that pays our mortgage & house related bills. We a maintain our own personal checking accounts for everyday things such as gas money, shopping, or errands. I wouldn’t suggest combining any finances until you are, at the very least, engaged with wedding plans. There are many stories where someone didnt think they would break up – and they did. Just look at the “emotional” boards!!! I would never allow him access to my personal checking account. I do not have access to his personal account either. He only has access to our joint account. 

Maybe you two could open up a joint checking account as well since you’re wanting it to pay home bills. We have also been able to save a lot more now since we have the joint account. we put about 1/2 of our bi-weekly checks into that account which more than covers our monthly house bills. It’s provided us a nice cushion without really trying to save. 

Member
23890 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We combined when we bought a house together and were engaged.  To me it wasn’t that big of a deal, but you might want to keep another account on the side (that he knows about) with extra money.

Member
8046 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We’re not engaged yet but we live together. My guy is good with $$ and does my finances for me. He makes a budget for me, I stick to the budget, and he moves the money around in my accounts, pays bills etc. I log in for him so he can do it, but we don’t have anything combined per se. Maybe you could try something similar?

I think when we marry we’ll then open a joint account but we’ll still keep our individual chequing accounts and so on.

Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee

Before we were married, DH and I got checking accounts at the same bank, which had a way for us to transfer money to each other’s accounts online without having access to withdrawing the money from each other’s accounts.  The transfers happened within 24 hours, so it wasn’t like it took forever (during business hours they were immediate).  Could you consider something like that?

Member
3799 posts
Honey bee

We set up a joint checking account when we moved in together (pre engagement), and opened a credit card in his name but with me as a cardholder or whatever when we got engaged.  I didn’t see us ever breaking up, and it just made sense in terms of paying bills, rent, groceries, etc.  We do each have our own separate accounts, though.

 

Member
959 posts
Busy bee

I handle our money/bills too. We both switched to the same bank at about 1.5 years (we got married at 3.5 years, have lived together since 1 month after we met) and opened an account each + one joint account. It was for the convenience of paying bills mostly. We now have another joint account for saving so we each have 3 accounts, 1 personal acc, 1 joint bills acc, 1 joint savings acc. we closed any other accounts & now just work with the 1 bank.

we earn the same & both started our relationship with nothing

Member
1959 posts
Buzzing bee

We didn’t get a joint account together (well, what really happened was we transferred everything in my account into his, then closed mine, and made his a joint account) until I had officially changed my name, which was maybe a couple weeks after the honeymoon.  We did this because banks want to see your driver’s license and make your checks based on that, so we wanted to both have the same last name before we got our checks.

By the time we got married, we already owned a house together and shared a credit card.  Before we got engaged, we’d add up how much each of us spent on the credit card and withdraw accordingly to pay the bills, but once we were engaged and knew we were about to share money, we didn’t really bother with carefully counting out “who owes what” each month.

Member
8741 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We didn’t until we were married.  I don’t think that having a joint chequing account would put you at too much risk though, just keep your savings separate.

Member
195 posts
Blushing bee

Our personal bank accounts are connected to each other. I can transfer money instantly to his account and he can transfer money instantly to mine. Since we bank with the same bank it is free. He cannot get into my personal account and take money out and I cannot get into his, so it’s pretty safe if people are worried about you creating a joint banking. (However, we know each other’s passwords so there’s that. lol)

FI and I also have a joint account, but honestly, money is not a big deal between the two of us. If bills need to be paid one of us will transfer money into the joint account (if needed) and pay it. We use the joint account for paying bills (mortgage, water, gas, electricity, insurance, etc), makes it a heck of a lot easier to track payments.

Member
21 posts
Newbee

when we moved in together (just like a year in to our relationship) I got a credit card with him as a second card-holder.  All our shared expenses (groceries, bathroom stuff, netflix bill, internet bill, new sheets, ikea furniture, etc) goes on that.  Each month, I receive the statement, notify him, and we each pay 50% of the bill.  We’ve also used this card to buy plane tickets or cover hotels when we travel, and to pay for restaurant bills when we eat out together.  We have a very clear understanding that this card is ONLY for use on things which are shared expenses.  obviously he’s very trustworthy, and we’ve never had any problems with this system.  I’m not so comfortable with the idea of joint accounts before marriage so this has been an excellent compromise.

Member
286 posts
Helper bee

We combined our accounts a month or so after moving in together.  It just made things so much easier, & made me feel like i was actually contributing.  My best friend and her husband have been together way longer than us & they still maintain completely seperate accounts.  It works great for them…its just whatever you feel comfortable doing as a couple

Member
315 posts
Helper bee

SO and I have seperate accounts at the same credit union, which allows us both to have control over our own money but we can instantly transfer money from one to the other which is how we pay for stuff that is combined! We also have a joint savings for future wedding, and when we are married we will ditch our other accounts for that one account. I think it is better to seperate them until you have a committment, because you never know :/

Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee

We created a separate joint checking account before we went abroad for a semester together.  We said it was for travel, but really, it was just a lot easier to split expenses and not worry about who’s paying who back.

When we moved in together we got a joint credit card.  We still keep separate accounts, so our direct deposit goes into our personal accounts, then we transfer money into the account that pays rent/utilities/bills.  We buy groceries/house stuff/dates on the joint cards, and personal stuff like clothes or beers with friends on our own accounts

When we get married, our plan is to have all the money go to the same place, but with equal discretionary “allowances” in personal accounts.  

Honestly, though, it doesn’t matter at all.  Neither of us brought any money into the relationship, and we earn about the same, and it’ll be officially combined in two years, so it’s mostly symbolically separate.

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