Post # 1
Hi everyone! I’ve been a lurker for a while but decided to finally put my big girl pants on and join in the discussions.
I have been with my SO for 10 months now, but we have known eachother (and liked eachother) for years before this. When he was single, I wasn’t. When I was single, he wasn’t. Finally, the timing was right and we couldn’t be happier. He has talked marriage since the start and I know it will happen…..but when?!?!?!
He said he did not want to get engaged before we have dated at least a year. Our one year anniversary is coming up in May and I can’t help but wonder if he will finally pop the question then. Part of me doesn’t want to think about it though because I don’t want to be disappointed and sad during what should be a fun/romantic anniversary weekend trip.
We are planning on moving in together in August – I really really really want to be engaged before then. Hopefully being able to vent here with you gals will help keep me calm cool and collected in the coming months 🙂
Post # 3
Does he know you want to be engaged before you move in? Guys are pretty oblivious to things like that. Make sure he knows, and maybe he’ll get on the ball! Isn’t it funny that when you know, you know? I knew my SO was the one many years ago, and it’s FINALLY happening soon! I’m so excited. I’m 100% sure we’ll be engaged before the summer!
Post # 4
Hello and welcome to the Wedding Bee! I was in some similar shoes this time last year. My boyfriend and I started dating in October 2010 and in a very short period of time, I was pretty sure he was “the one.” We moved in together rather quickly and both talked about wanting to get married but that we wanted to wait at least a year before becoming engaged. Well, now it’s been nearly a year and a half and I am patiently waiting for a proposal. 🙂 I know he has a ring somewhere, so hopefully it won’t be too much longer!
Anyway, I think you would be okay moving in before getting engaged, especially if you’ve already talked about marriage and have an inkling that he might be proposing in the near future. But definitely, being open about your expectations is always a good thing with men, who can be rather dense, as we all know!
Post # 5
@Mrs. Bear Cheese Pie: I haven’t said that I wanted to be engaged before moving in explicitly, just dropped some hints. But I’ll take your advice and make sure he really understands my expectation. And yes – I had two long-term relationships before where I thought maybe I had found “the one.” But those were nothing like what I have now – I don’t think I found my “one,” I KNOW I found him! lol
@shirasagi: You are right, men can be dense! He said he would like to have kids in two years and I had to break it down for him: a baby in two years means getting pregnant in one year, which means we are married in one year (because I want to be married first!), which means getting engaged sooner than later since we’ll need at least 6 months to plan a wedding. If we left things up to men they would never realize that they have to get a move on if they want marriage/kids in the near-ish future!
Post # 6
I’m in a very similar situation, though I’m a few months off (we’re moving in together in June, but our 1 year anniversary isn’t until October). We’ve discussed marriage and our future, but when it comes to setting down a solid date he just says that he’s “a guy and needs to take his own time”, whatever that means 😛 From other things his hinted at I’m thinking the 1 year mark will be it. I’ve got a bit more time so I’m holding off on having any big talks.
But like others have said, you may want to spell things out for him so he knows what timeline you’re thinking about. There’s been so many times I’ve though I made something very obvious to my SO by dropping hints, but he was clueless. Men really don’t do subtle well.
Post # 7
It’s so nice to see other less-than-a-year waiters here! I’m in a similar boat. BF and I just moved in together and have been dating 7 months. We’ve talked marriage seriously but are waiting till closer to a year. He’s meeting my parents this weekend, gulp, which I see as the last step until I’m ready to say “YES!” Eep!
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
@cali_cat: Like you said, men can be dense. Id say something like, “I really want to live with you, but the idea of living with a boyfriend kinda scares me. I would be so nice if I could move in with my fiance! I would be tons more relaxed and happier” Something non-pushy but really clear. And sounds like he’d take that sort or prooding just fine 🙂
Post # 9
@google: Sounds like you two are on a good path 🙂 I think what kills me is knowing that he wants that “dating a year” minimum. I know there won’t be any proposal before our one year anniversary, but I keep thinking it will happen exactly AT one year. Realistically, knowing that my SO is not the best planner and will probably need time to get his act together (ie. actually go drive to the jewelry district in Los Angeles to get the ring), there won’t be an engagement at our anniversary….but hopefully he won’t keep me hanging for too many months after that!
I had a relationship that lasted seven years before – and after that one went sour I remember thinking that there is no way I would jump into anything serious until at least two or three years had passed. So I do feel a little crazy for wanting to be engaged asap with my SO. But you can tell when the relationship is “right” so I’m not worried about us!
One of my best friends got engaged after just a few months of dating – I thought they were crazy for jumping in so quickly, but they are happily married five years later and obviously they just KNEW that they were right for eachother. Makes me a little jealous sometimes that she didn’t have to wait for that one year minimum! lol.
Post # 10
My FI and I started dating 11/11/11, and we knew it was meant to be shortly after. Initially he said he wanted to wait at least a year before proposing. By Christmas he shortened his time frame to 6 months and then 2/15/12 he proposed just barely 3 months into our relationship. I couldn’t be happier! But just because your guy has a limit in his mind of when he wants to do it doesn’t mean that he’s actually going to stick to it!