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We've had a joint account for a long time...since we've been living together (so four years) We pay the rent and bills with it, and now we pay wedding expenses using that account. (we keep our wedding money in a joint ING savings account and then transfer it)
I was a little worried at first, because FI was EXTREMELY irresponsible with money. But just putting in your rent/bills money is a good way to start. That way there's no "extra" money in there to be used for anything else.
After the wedding we'll put most of our money in the joint account and then keep some spending $ in our own accounts.
We got our joint account a year after moving in together and it's got it's pro's and con's. Overwhelmingly- PRO- we can combine funds so when we're paid at different times it's not like we can't pay a bill, or I have to write a check. Also there's no awkward "who's paying?" when we're out. The only con is that I am constantly nervous with big purchases like, what if he's buying something! We could overdraft! But it's been a year and that hasn't happened. Just kind of silly. Also con- I can't buy things in secret for him! Another con/pro he knows exactly what I get like, what I eat for lucnh, or how much a manicure is. But it's also pro because that helps me be smarter about spending!
I hear ya! It is a scary thing, especially when you've been burned before. So funny, sounds like hotchildinthecity is talkin about my relationship too! We have horrible money issues, my FI is a lil bit irresponsible BUT we did a joint account and so far its worked out really well. See, he's good about putting money into the account and I'll pay the bills. If it were up to him to pay the bills though, it wouldn't happen. I suggest doing this though because soon enough you'll be a team and you want to know how it is to work together. The money I've been saving for the wedding is staying in my personal account though, until he's able to match it. I'll never want to put more than he does, ya know?
we just got a joint account because we bought a house, plus we're sick of always figuring out who owes who what. we're actually getting both of our pays deposited into this joint account, but we're making up a budget, and then whatever is left over is getting split evenly (we make similar salaries so it's easier) and deposited into our own personal accounts.
We don't have one, and I'm not sure when we're doing it. I'd be OK with it, but he's not so keen. He's more irresponsible (not completely, but more) with money than I am, so maybe he's embarrassed? Don't know.
We've been living together for the past two years without any joint account, and will probably continue this way until much closer to the wedding (next summer). I'm not saying it's the best way, but it's keeping the money issues at bay for now
We have a joint savings account that we are using to put our wedding money in and pay for wedding/honeymoon expenses. Once we get married I will quit my bank to join his account and we will be totally merged. It is a BIG step, but at the same time it's nothing compared to pledging faithfulness to another person as long as we both shall live!
Take it as slow as you need to.. only put in as much as you need to, and agree to discuss all transactions before they take place. Good luck!
We had a joint account for about 2 years before we got married. We were already engaged and we owned a house together so it made a lot of sense. We don't have individual accounts but we do have individual credit cards that we can put our indulgences on. We make sure that we discuss all larger purchases with eachother before making them so that we know we have enough money. We also have money meetings every so often to check on how we are doing and our investments.
We've had a joint account for years and just recently I put him on my credit card account so we just have one then.
We don't have the overdraft issues since we rarely use our debit cards. I'm also the only one that cuts checks so he just calls to tell me he's writing one (like one ever 6 months) or asks me to write one. Works out fine.
We have joint accounts for bills like the mortgage and savings and then we keep our separate accounts. I think our system works out really nice since he makes A LOT more than me it wouldn't be fair if I had to pay 50% of all the cost of the bills make sense? So instead we each put in a set percentage of our paychecks in to the joint accounts for savings and bills. The rest we put in our separate accounts and use them as we want. That way if I want to buy him something for his birthday I would buy it out of my own account.
This is too funny becuase I've just been thinking about this today. We are getting ready to close on our first home in 2 weeks or so. We still have not decided how we're going to handle this. At first I thought it would be easiest just to have all our money deposited to one account and then put some in savings when there is some left over. However; FI makes a little more than I do so I don't want him to think he can't spend his money they way he wants it. We talked about having a set amount that he would write me every month to pay for his half of the bills and then we each have a seperate account. I just worry that if I don't have a little control over the money that he will have troubles having his amount at the end of the month. He tends to spend without thinking sometimes. (god love him) It just makes me nervous. Not sure which to do either. So basically I'm waiting to get the responses to this as well!!!
We opened our joint account when we moved in together. Since I'm in school and he is JUST starting his practice, we're really not much above the poverty line (ouch) so we really couldn't even afford to keep much separately if we wanted to, nor could anyone really steal anything from each other ;). It was an easy decision for us. But it STILL freaked me out--I've always been pretty independent, especially financially, and emotionally it was a hard step. I feel fine about it now, though. :) Someday I know I'll contribute at least as much as he does!
we just opened our joint account a couple weeks ago. We're doing the same thing - putting in just rent and bills. It was definitely a moment where it all felt "real." But it was pretty exciting too.
We turned to joint accounts in February (after living together for a couple of years). He was more afraid than I was, which is funny because I am better at saving money! It has turned out really well. Now I don't have to nag him to pay the bills on time (I just pay them all), and I can make sure we're covered for all of our expenses. Honestly, it was way less of a big step than everyone else said it would be. We opted not to have our own personal accounts, we just have 2 chequing and 1 savings, all in our names. Since someone usually has to be the "primary" on an account though I would suggest either getting two accounts together or keeping your own extra accounts. If you apply for certain things you apparently need a primary account in your name (so says the bank lady!).
I think the only tough part is that we are different spenders; he wants to buy what he wants even if he doesn't have the money for it (I am the opposite). It's hard not to feel like I am nagging him in a motherly way sometimes about spending money we don't have, but it's not something we 'fight' about.
We didn't open our joint account until right after we were married, but it was more out of laziness than not wanting to before. We were going to open one when we bought our house together (7 months pre wedding) but I didn't want to open another account which I'd have to change my name on after the wedding. Why bother?? haha. However, if we had a longer engagement, I wouldn't hesitate to open a joint account before marriage, especially if you have a responsible SO and set down some ground rules about what it's used for. We use our joint account for all our joint household bills, our cell phones, going out to dinner/movies/whatever together, gas for our cars, groceries. We differ slightly in that he wants to use his to pay his student loans, where I think we should pay them out of our own seperate accounts. I use my seperate account for my student loans, gifts, going out with my friends, shopping.
we waited until after the wedding for practical purposes (i.e. living in different states) as much as personal reasons.
It hasn't been as difficult as I thought, but we made it a point to discuss throughout our engagement that we were going to be really communicative about our money. It's really difficult at times because we've both lost freedom as well as most of our discretionary incomes (b/c we were both living with our parents prior to marriage, and DH quit his job to go to school), but we found that honesty and transparency is the best policy.
Every couple is comfortable with, and handles things differently though. There is not necessarily a perfect formula!
We currently have individual checking accounts and a joint savings. The joint savings is more of a rainy day fund, but we intend to keep it this way even after we're married. It has worked for 4+ years we have been living together, so why change it? We each have specific bills we pay and that's that. :) Also, I don't have to worry about him buying something that he forgets to tell me and I overdraw the account. I am the only one who uses my account unless I give him my checkbook or card for something specific, so if I mess up and overdraw, it's my problem.
-Bella
We opened up a joint account when we moved in with one another. Right now its just money being put aside for when we purchase a new house, but after we get married, we plan on further combining accounts. We will still each keep our own spending money accounts.
On the plus side of merging accounts, I don't know if it is our sharing of financial info or that he can see what I spend, but since he's moved in my spending has gone way down. It's pretty nice to have some "extra" money right now!
No joint account for us...but we have a joint credit card! The conjoined spending helps us rack up miles & rewards, as well as regulate credit - we pay ours off completely every month (neither myself nor FI has really ever carried CC debt - I feel really proud of that). FI created a pretty easy to use Excel Sheet where we input ALL our expenses & it figures out what we owe each other each month - although, that's easily solved through expenditures (I pay the CC bill, he pays the rent & other monthlies - comes out about even). Mostly, we keep up the Excel Sheet for budgeting...I think we'll keep it up even after we're married. We'll join accounts, COMPLETELY, after we're married...when it's "officially" OURS - no separate accounts.
But it sounds like I'm in the minority about that...
We opened a joint savings account right away, to start a honeymoon fund, but we each still have our separate checking and savings accounts as well. Now that we're back from the wedding, and my time isn't taken up as much with planning, I'll start working on our budgets and financial planning a bit more.
It IS a big step - and what your exBF did sounds HORRIBLE!!! No wonder you are feeling nervous about it!
We haven't merged money yet from a banking perspective, but are slowly meshing and melding our finances together as we plan. Both of us are paying for the wedding alone, so that's helping. I've set up a separate wedding fund, but I think I'll end up setting up a separate account and that will remain our joint account.
Take baby steps and have lots of communication with your FI about expectations and accountability, etc.
We started a small joint account together (we kept our individual ones) in order to pay for the wedding stuff. It made it easy to pay for "our" wedding AND, plus, keep track of what we spent all the money on since it only came out of one account. Once we got married, we put all the wedding money into that account, which was easiest since the checks were 99% made out to both our names.
sit down and just explicity go through what the money will be used for. Set up an online account with the bank so you can each see what you take out for what. I left my checkbook once and had to buy groceries with our joint account (which i don't ever do b/c well, i live alone and he doesn't have to help me buy my food so i use my own account) but i let him know....last week his personal bank card wouldn't work so he let me know he pulled out money for lunch. The only reason we informed each other is b/c its outside our set notions of what the account is for--now, it's for HOUSE stuff, like appliances or whatever. So as long as we are both open with each other it is fine. He stays out of my personal spending account and I stay out of his--we like our privacy and ability to spend what we want personally--i buy makeup, he buys videogames, to each their own. So stuff like that would never come out of our joint account, and we both acknowledge and have agreed to that.
so as long as you both agree what the joint account is for and keep each other informed of spending and the limits of the account so you don't accidentally overdraw or anything, you're good! Decide beforehand what you want to put into the account--DH dropped a chunk in to start it off, and I began chipping away at it every month when I got a job so that we "evened" out. He was always in the loop, as was I. I agree with the PP who said honesty and transparency is best. Let him know your qualms about it though, otherwise he won't know how you feel!
We have a joint account that both have all our money going into. We have never had any issues at all. Pretty much if either of us is thinking about getting something we just consult the other person. I know a lot of people say its a big deal, for us it really wasn't. We decided to do it 3 months after getting engaged. Its over a year later and we're still smooth sailing.
Its kind of exciting too i think! have fun!!!
We also waited until after the wedding. We wanted to be realistic: while we were sure we were going to make it, what WOULD happen if we broke up and had merged finances? There's not as much legal recourse for an unmarried couple. We agreed we'd wait until after the wedding to merge finances.
We have had a small joint savings accout- for trips and things like that. Only now that we're engaged have we started merging accounts. I was waiting for him to pay off some debt, so now that we're on the same page I felt ready. It actually takes a long time with paperwork in diff. banks etc. so it's good to get it out of the way and be all set once we're married. If you're nervous about it, how about a joing savings account like some of the pp suggested?
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My fiance and I want to start the merging of our finances before the wedding. We're thinking of opening a joint account next month. We'll both still keep our individual accounts but will use the joint account to pay our common expenses and major bills.
I'm scared! Merging money is a huge step (and my last serious boyfriend, years ago, stole a lot of money from me so I kinda have money issues). Did anyone else merge bank accounts before marriage? How did it work out? Did anyone else feel a little gunshy about the merger?