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Well I know if my guy went to a party that would end up as a joint one with the girls, I'd want to be there! Maybe you could invite the girls to join up when the party becomes coed?
I don't know if there is a 'rule' about it - but I would invite the people you would invite if it were NOT a joint event. I don't think it's a big deal for the GF's to be excluded... they aren't your friends!! I wouldn't care if my SO was in that predicament and I wasn't invited.
Or, as an alternative, you could have the GF's join at the joint meeting spot.
If you invite your friends' boyfriends, then you should invite your FI's guy friends' girlfriends. As I see it, that would be the fair way so that no one else feels left out. Your FI might be thinking the same thing you are about your friends boyfriends.
I agree with shortcherriez... if you're inviting your BMs boyfriends - even if your FI is friends with them - I think you should invite the GM's girlfriends. You said in your previous post that you're worried they may not like you - excluding them while including the BFs would be a sure fire way to make them not like you.
I wouldn't invite them then - if they complain then just let them know (or the GMs) that the exclusion went both ways. I'm sure they would understand, after all, if it wasn't a joint party they wouldn't be invited to either anyway.
On the opposite side of this argument, it does SUCK not to be invited to something like that tho....I wasn't invited to the bachelorette party of a wedding FH is a groomsmen in and we've known the couple since college and I used to be really good friends with the bride and when I found out I wasn't invited, it definitely hurt...If having a few more girls there doesn't make a different, what's the harm in inviting them? You could end up with some new friends! And chances are, if they're not interested in meeting people/hanging out, then they won't accept the invitation...Just a thought :)
I did not have a joint party but my friend is next month. I am one of her BM's so I will be there but they also invited my DH to hang out with the guys. He knows her FI but they have never hung out outside of all of us together. If you are inviting your friends BF's then I would do the same and invite your FI's friends GF's. If they dont want to come they wont.
@rungurl10: well the situation is different. These are new girlfriends that I have never met in my life. So I'm not sure I would be comfortable with them there for my bachelorette. If I knew them, even somewhat, I would probably invite them. But since I don't I'm really not inclined to, being that I'm very antisocial and I don't tend to hit it off with new people.
And I am NOT inviting my friend's boyfriends. Whom my FH decides to invite is up to him and I would never pressure him into inviting these men that he does not know. I have not even suggested the idea to him.
I dont think you should or need to invite them. It is your party and should only invite people you want to be there and hang out with. Dont get yourself into a situation where you are not comfortable or happy with your party just to please the GM.
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This is a spinoff of another post of mine regarding not knowing the groomsmen's girlfriends.....if we do a joing bachelor/bachelorette party where we do a separate event, then meet in the evening, do I have to invite their girlfriends to my Bachelorette party?
I really don't want to. I don't know these girls at all. What's the proper thing to do?
*PS: I am not inviting my friend's boyfriends.