FMIL bought wrong glasses for toasting....what should we do?
more by Noelle-a-Belle
Bridezilla rears her ugly head
What are you doing for your bachelorette party?
more in Parties
Can I do the rehearsal dinner the week before the wedding instead of day before?
I bought shoes and bridesmaid dresses today!
more in Boards
Gift for newly engaged girls...

Joint bachelor/bachelorette party-who gets invited?

posted 2 years ago in Parties
  •  
    1.
    Member
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    Noelle-a-Belle    October 16 2009   Southern CA

    This is a spinoff of another post of mine regarding not knowing the groomsmen's girlfriends.....if we do a joing bachelor/bachelorette party where we do a separate event, then meet in the evening, do I have to invite their girlfriends to my Bachelorette party? 

    I really don't want to.  I don't know these girls at all.  What's the proper thing to do?

    *PS: I am not inviting my friend's boyfriends.

     
    2.
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    DarlingNikki586    January 22, 2011   Orangevale, CA

    Well I know if my guy went to a party that would end up as a joint one with the girls, I'd want to be there! Maybe you could invite the girls to join up when the party becomes coed?

     
    3.
    Member
    5,511 posts
    Bee Keeper
    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    I don't know if there is a 'rule' about it - but I would invite the people you would invite if it were NOT a joint event.  I don't think it's a big deal for the GF's to be excluded... they aren't your friends!!  I wouldn't care if my SO was in that predicament and I wasn't invited.

    Or, as an alternative, you could have the GF's join at the joint meeting spot.

     
    4.
    Member
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    shortcherriez      

    If you invite your friends' boyfriends, then you should invite your FI's guy friends' girlfriends. As I see it, that would be the fair way so that no one else feels left out. Your FI might be thinking the same thing you are about your friends boyfriends.

     
    5.
    Member
    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    starburst    10/10/10   Living in FL, Wedding in MI

    I agree with shortcherriez... if you're inviting your BMs boyfriends - even if your FI is friends with them - I think you should invite the GM's girlfriends. You said in your previous post that you're worried they may not like you - excluding them while including the BFs would be a sure fire way to make them not like you.

     
    6.
    Member
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    Noelle-a-Belle    October 16 2009   Southern CA

    I was not planning on inviting my friends boyfriends. 

     
    7.
    Member
    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    starburst    10/10/10   Living in FL, Wedding in MI

    I wouldn't invite them then - if they complain then just let them know (or the GMs) that the exclusion went both ways. I'm sure they would understand, after all, if it wasn't a joint party they wouldn't be invited to either anyway.

     
    8.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    6,485 posts
    Bee Keeper
    trailmix      

    On the opposite side of this argument, it does SUCK not to be invited to something like that tho....I wasn't invited to the bachelorette party of a wedding FH is a groomsmen in and we've known the couple since college and I used to be really good friends with the bride and when I found out I wasn't invited, it definitely hurt...If having a few more girls there doesn't make a different, what's the harm in inviting them? You could end up with some new friends! And chances are, if they're not interested in meeting people/hanging out, then they won't accept the invitation...Just a thought :)

     
    9.
    Hostess
    3,054 posts
    Sugar bee
    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    I did not have a joint party but my friend is next month.  I am one of her BM's so I will be there but they also invited my DH to hang out with the guys.  He knows her FI but they have never hung out outside of all of us together.  If you are inviting your friends BF's then I would do the same and invite your FI's friends GF's.  If they dont want to come they wont.

     
    10.
    Member
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    Noelle-a-Belle    October 16 2009   Southern CA

    @rungurl10: well the situation is different.  These are new girlfriends that I have never met in my life.  So I'm not sure I would be comfortable with them there for my bachelorette.  If I knew them, even somewhat, I would probably invite them.  But since I don't I'm really not inclined to, being that I'm very antisocial and I don't tend to hit it off with new people. 

    And I am NOT inviting my friend's boyfriends.  Whom my FH decides to invite is up to him and I would never pressure him into inviting these men that he does not know.  I have not even suggested the idea to him.

     
    11.
    Member Icon
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee
    anycbride       NYC

    I dont think you should or need to invite them. It is your party and should only invite people you want to be there and hang out with. Dont get yourself into a situation where you are not comfortable or happy with your party just to please the GM.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    Lyndzo 46
    Brielle 38
    AshleyR83 30
    mypinkshoes 29
    rebwana 26
    funkymunky85 26
    fivemonthsnotice 26
    his chippymunk 25
    Cady 25
    fishbone 25

    Parties

    User Posts Today
    mtnhoney 4
    AshleyR83 2
    kristenep 1
    Hippos 1
    caseyleigh10 1
    eagle 1
    Brielle 1
    MsJ2theZ 1
    mandypop 1
    Iloveyourlovethemost 1
    More