Post # 1
Please help me if I’m missing something.
My dear friend, I love her to death, but we have very different views when it comes to money. She comes from the land of parents pay for everything even though shes a grown woman, I come from the land of parents say we aren’t a money tree, get a job. She’s married to a nice, well off man.
Today she comes in saying that her parents want to take her off of THEIR bank account so she doesn’t have access to their money since now that she has Hubby to take care of her. She is fuming. Not that it matters but Hubby has money, her parents don’t.
I’m at a loss for how to even respond. Help!
Post # 3
Wow, why would she be upset that she doesn’t get a free ride from her parents anymore now that she’s married? That doesn’t make much sense to me.
Post # 4
That made me chuckle. I seriously have nothing for you. I work with two people like that. Both of whom keep a running tab on how much their parents spent on their siblings and expect the same thing. (including 30k for rehab). I just shake my head most of the time and say nothing.
Post # 5
I guess I’m also wondering if its common to have joint bank accounts with a Fiance before you are married or with other people such as parents?
Post # 6
You can have a joint bank account with anyone, my sister has one with my parents because they keep track of her money through college by transferring an allowance (which I think is ridiculous, it’s her money theyre “allowing her” she should learn to use it on her own). But I don’t even think you should concern yourself with this. She’s being immature, just tell her to get the joint with her husband and be thankful she’s got money at all.
Post # 7
i wouldn’t say anything about it. let her vent if she wants to, but this is a situation where i would just smile and nod because it’s pretty ridiculous.
Post # 8
WOW…LOL! I think I need to go slap myself before I post anything…
Tell her its time that she grows up a little and she will live.
Post # 9
@Pupperoni: My husband and I combined our finances before we got married because we owned a home together. I was never on a joint account with my parents though.
Post # 10
WOW. Must be nice, but she is being so ridonk. I don’t think the shared bank account with her Fiance before marriage is an issue, still being on your parent’s is.
Post # 11
I was on a joint account with my mama when I graduated from HS because I was 17. After that I was on my on until a few weeks before the wedding when Hubby and I merged accounts.
I would point out to your friend that most people’s parents don’t provide for them when they are grown and on their own.
Post # 12
Wow… I can’t help you because all I would want to do is say something rude like “you’re a grown woman and you’ve had a joint account with your parents all this time? It’s time to start learning about money take control of it for yourself. You don’t need other people to do that for you. Welcome to the grown up world.”
Post # 13
oh wow. I am speecheless.
Post # 14
Um, wow. Honestly, I’m connected to my parents bank account. They have the money for it and don’t want me to start my career with any loans, that is why they paid for my college. However, they always told me that when I graduate and/or when I get married I’ll be “cut off”. That seems more than reasonable to me.
Tell your friend that she is starting a new family and does not need to be connected to her parent’s account. If she takes their money, then they have control over her to tell her what she can and can’t do. Nobody wants to be treated like a baby when they’re married. Tell her to let it go and if they REALLY need help, to ask for it sometimes… but not to be connected to the account.
Post # 15
I just choked on my drink….seriously? Do we have a friend in common? My co-worker “friend” was talking about this very thing earlier. How ridiculous that her parents don’t want to fund her entire life…. (read: sarcasm).
I honestly don’t get it. But, like PPs have said, just nod and smile? I just went “ohh, okay..”
Post # 16
So so so sad that we raise children like this.