(Closed) joint bridal shower

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1519 posts
Bumble bee

There are a lot of pros and cons. I think you just need to decide if you can give up all of the attention and share it so that you can have a little more control over the party. 

You would be able to make sure the party is to your standards at least! And you wouldn’t have the jealousy if the party your cousin throws for you isn’t as good as the one you throw for her. 

I think you could easily make it so that each bride gets their own time to open up presents and stuff…you wouldn’t have to do it all at the same time. 


But if you really aren’t comfortable with it and want your own special time, I think that’s fine too.

Post # 5
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You also have to think of the guests.  Are they going to want to sit through two brides-to-be opening dozens of gifts? I know I wouldn’t (no offense to anyone, but watching people open presents is soo boring to me).  Plus, the guests that are your friends/family but don’t know her at all, or vice versa, are going to be doubly bored when they have to sit through things for a woman they dont’ even know. 

just throwing that out there too.

Post # 6
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think joint bridal showers are ever a good idea.  One of the 2 people is going to feel like they got less attention than the other one.  Also, friends of yours that don’t know her (and vice-versa) could feel obligated to bring a present for the other bride.  Its a chance for the bride to be in the spotlight, and sometimes there’s only one spotlight, ya know?

Can one of your friends/bridesmaids/relatives/Mom help your cousin with planning your shower since party planning is not her strength?

Post # 7
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Another reason this wouldn’t be a great idea is that essentially you both end up looking like you are hosting a shower for yourself… which is never a good idea.  If you were going to have a joint shower there would need to be another host named (like your moms/aunts).

Post # 8
24 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

My future sister-in-law is getting married two months after my fiance and I.  We had a joint shower and I thought it was great.  Sure the gift opening was a little long but it was a couples shower so it was casual and many people got up to get a beverage or socialize during gift opening.  It was hosted by people other than us so that also made it easier.  Overall I would recommend it….but I could defintely understand that you would want to have your own shower. 

Post # 9
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hmm I think its a good idea in theory. I dont know if I would want to do that. I think thats a lot of gifts for guests to watch open. I think that its a little harder on your guests to not get to spread out the expense of gifts and have to do two at a time.

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