My cousin and I will be getting married about a month apart next summer. My aunt has offered to throw us a joint shower. BUT we have pretty different guest list. My cousin's not including all of the family, where I am kind of being forced my my mother to invite everyone.
Hmm. Could be fun, if handled with care. I think the only way to handle it appropriately is to limit the guest list only to people who are invited to _both_ weddings. (Otherwise, the shower guests would be put in the awkward position of having to buy a gift for someone to whose wedding they're not invited, or show up without a gift for one of the honorees.)
You have three options.... not sure which is better :)
1. limit it to guests invited to both (as maryalison said)
The only concern would be that other guests who are invited to your wedding may assume that they are not actually invited because they were not invited to the shower.... this is a sticky situation :)
2. invite all of your guests, which means inviting people not invited to her wedding
As long as they are ok with this then it could also work. I would be concerned that it may cause tension for those not invited to her wedding.
3. tell her thanks, but no thanks.
it's kind of mean but avoids problems #1 and #2...
My cousin and I will be getting married about a month apart next summer. My aunt has offered to throw us a joint shower. BUT we have pretty different guest list. My cousin's not including all of the family, where I am kind of being forced my my mother to invite everyone.
Any suggestions how to avoid family drama?
posted by MissMallika 6 posts 2 months agoHmm. Could be fun, if handled with care. I think the only way to handle it appropriately is to limit the guest list only to people who are invited to _both_ weddings. (Otherwise, the shower guests would be put in the awkward position of having to buy a gift for someone to whose wedding they're not invited, or show up without a gift for one of the honorees.)
posted by maryalison 105 posts 2 months agoYou have three options.... not sure which is better :)
1. limit it to guests invited to both (as maryalison said)
The only concern would be that other guests who are invited to your wedding may assume that they are not actually invited because they were not invited to the shower.... this is a sticky situation :)
2. invite all of your guests, which means inviting people not invited to her wedding
As long as they are ok with this then it could also work. I would be concerned that it may cause tension for those not invited to her wedding.
3. tell her thanks, but no thanks.
it's kind of mean but avoids problems #1 and #2...
good luck!
posted by MsB 212 posts 2 months ago