Journey of Pregnancy After Miscarriage

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Thanks for starting this thread! I am in a similar situation, cautiously optimistic. I just oust got my BFP yesterday at 11 dpo. I was surprised, excited, scared, all of it!

 

My story: I’m 37, got pregnant for the first time last July on our first try. I couldn’t believe how lucky we were! I began to miscarry while on vacation with my husband’s family, and had a D&E a few days later at 7.5 weeks. My first ultrasound was an awful one, they did it to confirm there were no signs of life. It was heartbreaking. 

 

Fast forward to this month, it was our 4th cycle trying. We are so excited! I told my husband by giving him a card I had bought that said “Status update: Pregnant!”. He was so confused it was cute. I think I have a pretty good attitude, hopeful for the best and know it’s just going to work out how it’s meant to be. I will be more relieved if/when I get to the end of the first tri.

 

I’m callying my doctors on Monday since she said they’d want to do bloodwork earlier this time, and put me on progesterone as needed!

Post # 5
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

MrsFireChief:  Thank you for starting this. Just wanted to wish everyone well. Hope to be joining you soon.

Post # 6
Member
2614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

MrsFireChief:  I’m so delighted that this thread has been started! Congratulations and the best of luck to you in your pregnancy. I’ll have everything crossed for you. I’m hoping that it won’t be too long before I can join you. It really is a different journey after a mc.

Post # 7
Member
2174 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Thanks for starting this!  I am currently estimating that I am 4w1d, or 15DPO. Got my first BFP at 9DPO, and it’s gotten darker, thankfully.

We found out we were pregnant in August 2013, with our first LO due to arrive on April 24. First trimester was rough– I lost 20lbs due to “morning” sickness, slept around 12 hours a day, and was just generally worthless. Every OB visit was good though– we had 3 u/s early on and every time, our little bean was growing and bouncing around! I always had a sneaking feeling that something was wrong– I can’t explain it, but I just felt like we shouldn’t be too excited or attached.

We elected for the sequential screening to tell us if our baby had any abnormalities (trisomy, downs, NT defects). The first half of the testing was done at 13w and everything was perfect. We had an early gender scan at 17w on a Friday (it was a GIRL!) and the second half of the testing. We celebrated our first anniversary that weekend as well. Monday morning, my OB called me at work to say that my test showed extremely high levels of spinal fluid in my blood draw, indicating a possible NT defect. She scheduled me for a visit with an high risk OB and level II u/s the next morning. I instantly knew we were not going to be one of the lucky false positives– this is what my intuition had been trying to tell me.

The initial level II revealed spina bifida. It was too early to tell about other associated factors. We were immediately given the opportunity to terminate the pregnancy, of which we declined for favor of waiting until the baby grew a little bit. Spina bifida can range from tolerable to life-threatening– we didn’t want to make any decisions until we knew how severe.

Commence the most wrenching 3 weeks of our lives. We had a second opinion 3 weeks later, and a follow up with an MRI and another level II u/s. Unfortunately, the news was worse. Confirmed was the most severe type of spina bifida, extremely high on the spine (the higher the break, the less the function and worse prognosis), a missing cerebellum and hydrocephaly. No one would say with certainty that our little girl would live to term, make it through birth, or even a few days past. If she did live, she would need several surgeries in her first months, many over her lifetime, would never walk or talk and would need lifelong care. In short, no quality of life, if she lived at all.

We struggled. I never imagined being in this position. We couldn’t fathom making our little girl suffer, but also couldn’t fathom letting her go– we so badly wanted this baby, and had waited until we had our lives together to TTC. It was such a cruel thing, feeling her move around and knowing that she would never get to do that free of my body’s support.

We decided to end the pregnancy after meeting with a neonatologist who gave us a grim perspective– out of the 2 other children she had seen be born with similar cases, one had passed within hours of birth, and the other died on the operating table. We knew we could not be responsible for making our girl suffer for any reason, and felt that our suffering in her loss was more tolerable than watching her struggle and die.

I had a D&E at 21w. It was the worst day of my life. I contemplated running away the night before. I considered killing myself. It was too much to handle– we had gone from the happiest moments of our lives to the worst in the course of a month. We said goodbye to sweet Ellie Hope that day, but I think about her almost every moment, still.

At my follow-up in January, the doctor advised that we wait two cycles before TTC. I was also required to take high dose folic acid, which is key in preventing NT defects. We waited through my January and February cycles, and began TTC again in early March, per my temp charting and OPKs. First time was a charm again, and I got a BFP at 9DPO! 

I am simultaneously thrilled and terrified. I don’t so much fear a miscarriage, but I do fear another fatal defect. I won’t consider us out of the woods until we get a clear sequential screen back around 17-18w. We are keeping this pregnancy a secret as long as we can, this time. Right now, only my husband and BFF know, besides the bees here! I am hopeful for a healthy baby, but also cautious… I’m tempering my excitement and trying not to get carried away, I guess as a defense mechanism. It sucks– I feel a bit robbed of my pregnancy because I won’t really be comfortable celebrating until well into the second tri.

Post # 9
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Popping in to say hi. I just got my BFP very early this weekend. I’m only 3w4d and scared out of my mind after two miscarriages back to back (MMC at 11.5 weeks Oct 1st, BO at 9ish weeks on Jan 15th) but I’m trying to stay positive this time. Only happy thoughts!  Anyway, congrats to everyone here!  I hope we all get our rainbows 🙂

Post # 10
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I already have a son, age 19 mos and was pregnant shortly after his first birthday in August 2013. I learned at my first OB appt at 10w that the baby had stopped growing at 8w and therfore I would need to miscarry. I chose to take the medication instead of scheduling a D&C. I bled for 7.5 weeks and then got pregnant on our first cycle trying again in Jan 2014. I am just shy of 12w now and we have our early risk scan on Weds. We haven’t told anyone yet (not even family) and will cautiously start telling close family if the scan looks good on Weds. 

Thank you for starting this thread…I haven’t really had a chance to talk openly with many people about all of this. 

Post # 12
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

MrsFireChief:  I don’t know how much advice I have for you. Both of my miscarriages were confirmed by ultrasound. I had a moment in the ultrasound room right before my first scan for my second pregnancy, started crying even before they inserted the wand only to have my worst nighmare confirmed when the scan was complete, I’d have to miscarry again.  That’s one thing that I will always be resentful of… I’ll never look forward to an ultrasound again. 

But please please just try to stay calm. Be at peace that there is little you can control. Send positive vibes to your little bean and have faith that everything is going as it should.  Every moment preparing for the ultrasound will be scary but it will be worth it when you do see a flickering heart beat. 

Post # 13
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I just called my doctor to tell him I’m pregnant again (third time in 10 months) and I was expecting to be treated the same way I was last time (“we don’t see pregnant women until they’re at least 8 weeks.”) But I was pleasantly surprised!  He wants to see me when I’m 5 weeks, so next Thursday, and he’s sending me for betas today. I know all this early monitoring won’t change the outcome of the pregnancy but at least I’ll have some peace of mind. 

Post # 15
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

OldMrsMcDonald:  I remember your story, and am so glad to see you are expecting!

How is everyone feeling? I am trying so hard to remain positive but it’s really tough. The days are so long! I haven’t been pregnant a week and it feels like an eternity. I am only slightly dramatic. 😉

I had bloodwork done yesterday, and am anxiously waiting the results. I had some weird symptoms this week that I didn’t have with my first pregnancy, and this one just ‘feels’ different. I feel silly saying that but maybe that’s the optimist in me, wanting this pregnancy to stick.

Hope everyone is feeling well and remaining positive (as much as we can)!

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