Journey of TTC after miscarriage Part 4

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 4
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

Ok, why not
 

 

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle):   First cycle after m/c in December.   CD6 today

MC History:  Got pregnant the first cycle after we got married, lost it at 8 weeks.   TTC since August ’13

Issues (if any):  None that we know of

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc):   Just read up on baby aspirin, can’t hurt to try it,  I got some Pre-Seed too, plus lots of sex.

 

Link to chart: 

 

Current coping strategies/favourite inspirational quotes:  I dunno, I try to not get upset, but it seems like eveyrone around me keeps getting pregnant by accident, or unwanted pregnancies.    We din’t tell anyone about the last pregnancy or m/c so it’s ultra difficult.    I’m trying to stay positive


Post # 5
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Roll call: 

 

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle):  TTC cycle

MC History:  I had a missed MC at 8 weeks in September  It was found at my 8 week u/s.  I elected to have a d&C on September 5. 

Issues (if any):  hypothyroidism

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc):  checking cervix, prenatal vitamins


Link to chart: 

Current coping strategies/favourite inspirational quotes:

One day at a time…focus on the future and trying again, instead of focusing on what has happened.  It’s easier said than done some days.  Especially since a teacher I work with and am good friends with is pregnant and is due a month before I would have been.  It’s hard but I’m trusting in Gods plan for me. 

Post # 6
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@phoebephoebo:  Thanks for starting the new thread!

Roll call: 

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle):  MC cycle… my D&C is this Wednesday

MC History: My first miscarriage was a MMC found at 11w3d.  We saw a heartbeat at 8 weeks (happiest day of my life) and then baby stopped growing around 9 weeks.  D&C on October 1st.  Second miscarriage (current cycle) we got pregnant on our first cycle after the first miscarriage, blighted ovum found at 8w3d–actually had three gestational sacs so triplet blighted ova.

Issues (if any): My doc says “bad luck” but I refuse to believe it.  We’re very fertile and my body maintains pregnancies aka strong symptoms, hcg rises appropriately, progesterone is great… my babies just don’t grow so I’m guessing its chromosomal.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): I’m definitely going to try baby aspirin because it can’t hurt.  Prenatals, folic acid, and charting like a crazy person won’t hurt either.

Link to chart: I can’t link to my chart bc I used an email address with my full name in it and I can’t figure out how to change it on FF 🙁

Current coping strategies/favourite inspirational quotes:  I was destroyed after my first miscarriage.  I became very distant from my friends and family as they didn’t understand.  Those I told said horrible things to me like “you can always try again!” and “at least now you know you CAN get pregnant!” ugh.  You ladies understand… no one else does.  I ended up seeing a therapist who helped me cope and find ways to heal.  This time around I feel more experienced and am trying to give this experience a purpose.  Maybe I’m having these miscarriages so that I can be here supporting others who are going through the same…

Post # 7
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@phoebephoebo:  I think it’s great that you’re going to do things you can’t while you’re pregnant.  Wine tasting sounds fun!  Enjoy your crazy night away.  Can’t wait to hear all about it.

@Purple_Bride:  Tell me about it… the amount of “oops” babies popping up around me is enough to make me physically ill.  Around the time I found out I was pregnant this time, I found out that my 21 year old single cousin is pregnant too.  I had this horrible jealous thought of “why did I miscarry and not her?”.  Awful, I know… but I think other woman who’ve experienced this loss can relate to thoughts like these.  It’s just not fair.

@MrsFireChief:  I just wanted to say hi and tell you that I remember you from the April mama’s board when I was there too.  I need to take your advice about focusing on the future… I’m constantly dwelling on the “what ifs”.  I need to be more like you!

Post # 8
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site

@mariwithani:  I can absolutely relate.   🙁    I feel bad for having those thoughts, but really, I can’t help it.

 

Post # 12
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): MC

MC History: Went in for our first ultrasond at 9 weeks and found no heartbeat with baby measuring 8w3d. Took misoprostol on Christmas Eve. Repeat ultrasound 1 week later showed an incomplete miscarriage (baby still there). Repeated misoprostol on New Year’s Eve. Much more severe cramping, and bleeding with passage of clots that time. I still haven’t gone in for a follow up ultrasound. Partly because I don’t know how I would cope with another failed attempt, and partly because I know my doc will not do a D&C until 4 weeks after a missed MC since “there’s no medical urgency.” I wish my doctor would consider how utterly awful it feels to be carrying around a dead fetus and never knowing when it might pass. It will be 2 weeks since my last dose on Tuesday. I took a Clear & Blue Digital (the one with weeks estimator) today and it said 2-3 weeks pregnant. I was relieved because it at least means my HCG levels are dropping. It’s hard to move forward when the process is still ongoing. I understand why medical management vs D&C is favorable physically, but it’s an emotional shit storm.

Issues (if any): See above. Apparently my body sucks at being pregnant and miscarrying.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): Considering baby aspirin. I find it irritating that they don’t look into possible causes until you’ve had 3 MCs. So, if I have a thyroid condition or something else that can be tested simply with a blood test and easily treated, it’s not worth looking into until I’ve gone through this 2 more times?!?! WTF?! Everything is based on populations, not individuals. Maybe it doesn’t prove cost effective to investigate every miscarriage because chances are good everything will be fine the next time around…. but tell that to someone who has gone through this 3 f’ing times. It pisses me off.


Link to chart: 

Current coping strategies/favourite inspirational quotes: Nothing worth sharing. I’m sure it’s dysfunctional. I’m alternating between sadness and anger. It’s also not helping that my SIL was 6 weeks ahead of me. I’m just beyond excited to go to their gender reveal party (gag) in a few weeks. I want to be happy for them but it’s so f’ing difficult. I know no one is trying to hurt me when they post about their pregnancies or have these parties, but it FEELS that way. I’ve just given myself permission to act cunty at least until this whole thing is over with.

 

Post # 13
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@phoebephoebo:  Thanks for creating this new thread. It was lonely on the other one. It’s so helpful to have people to share this with. There’s something to be said about internet anonymity when you feel the need to confess resenting other pregnant women. It seems to be such a common feeling that it makes me feel like I’m not a monster. the awful truth is that I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but I would trade places in a second.

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