(Closed) Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 6

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Thanks for starting up a new one!

Roll call: 

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): TTC Cycle

MC History: Two early losses (5.5 weeks both times)

Issues (if any):  Recurrent MC testing found a bacterial infection “linked” to MC and Stillbirth. Got that cleared up but there’s no proof that is what actually caused mine.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc):  Baby Aspirin, Royal Jelly & CoQ10 for egg quality, regular exercise

Link to chart:  I don’t temp and I only enter data between ovulation and AF.. My chart shows nothing basically! 

What are your biggest challenges right now? Time is moving so slow.  It seems like the TWW takes an eternity. I can’t focus on anything else outside of work.  Also I have moments where I worry– a lot.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes:  Keep telling myself that it could all have been bad luck.  That if I keep working for it, I will probably get it.  That I need to envision my body as a nice comfy and happy place for a little nugget to grow and thrive.  Trying to manifest positive thoughts since the negative thoughts can really sink my boat.  Also, trying to remember that those who graduate from miscarriages to healthy babies didn’t know which pregnancy would be the healthy one, so you should always have hope that the one you’re carrying next will be your take home baby.

 

Post # 4
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): TTC cycle

MC History: 1 MC at 5.5 weeks last Thursday – it was our first try TTC. 

Issues (if any): None. It was spontaneous. The MC started off with pink and brown spotting with a drop of blood in the toilet first thing in the morning which later turned into heavy bleeding (similar to AF with double vengeance) plus lots of cramps. This occured for two days then it has subsided since then. We were at the hospital for 6 hours and blood HCG tests revealed that my HCG levels on the day of the miscarriage was 40. I do wonder what my progesterone levels are. I am going to see how this cycle pans out and see if progesterone could also be an issue… 

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): I have ordered PreSeed, bought some Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (just for the next couple of days) and pure pomengranate juice, pure grapefruit juice (to help with the tonicity of the uterine lining and to build up thickness including CM). I am also taking prenatals, Vit D, fish oil and folic acid. I plan on starting regular exercise to help the blood flow to my uterus as well. (I eat extremely healthy but I have not exercised as much as I would like to due to my job and achedule. Even 15 minutes a day would work for me). 

Link to chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/4fb842

What are your biggest challenges right now? I am hoping that my husband and I are making the right decision to try TTC right away instead of waiting one cycle. The hospital doctor said that there was no reason to not try so we are going to go ahead. We feel okay and I am surprised at how well I am coping with this. I’m a big believer in fate and karma – what is meant to be is meant to be so even when we were in the waiting room at the hospital, I accepted the inevitable. I just hope that my uterus can be ready and raring to go once the fertility window opens. I am preparing myself to not get a BFP this cycle even though we were lucky to get one on the first try. Plus I am gluten intolerant so this cycle I am planning to be VERY good and not cheat. 

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes: See above. 

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Post # 5
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Andthepupmakes3:  I know what you mean about worrying a lot. I have anxiety issues and it’s hard to talk about it with my family. My husband and my best friend are the only ones who really understand the extent to how I deal with anxiety. My family can stress me out sometimes and I don’t want to have to deal with anxiety when we are TTC. So right now, I am focusing on positive things like painting – just to keep my mind off the TWW and outside issues. 

Post # 6
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): Rest cycle I suppose.

MC History: Issues (if any): On 8/20/14, I was told that my baby’s heartbeat had stopped. I was about 9 weeks (I’ve kind of blocked some things out so don’t remember the exact timing- I would have been due March 19.) I had just had a good ultrasound 2 weeks prior, during which I saw/heard the heartbeat, but was told I was measuring a week behind. Since I had ovulated late on my one cycle I had off BC (we conceived on cycle 2), I clung to hope. I ended up choosing to miscarry naturally. I began to bleed 2 weeks later, only to be rushed to the hospital on 9/7. I was hemorrhaging and needed the D&C.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): DH and I have decided to take a break from TTC. We are moving into our first house in December, and want to concentrate on packing, and once we get in the house, refinishing the hardwood floors and painting before we move in. Emotionally, I think I need a break. I took this very hard and I don’t feel ready to be pregnant again. I’m terrified of going through this again. In the mean time, I’m still taking prenatals, eating well and generally trying to be as healthy as possible. When we do TTC again, I will not be charting. I think it would stress me out. I want to just BD as much as possible and let my body do its thing. We got pregnant very fast the first time and I pray that will happen again when we’re ready. I want to be a mommy more than anything.

Link to chart: N/A

What are your biggest challenges right now? Waiting. I know its what is best for us right now, but its hard. And, as we all seem to experience, everyone around me is having babies right now. DH’s best friend’s wife is due a few days after I would have been due. That stings the most. Every once in a while I think of how far along I should be and I get sad all over again. I had my husband hide the sonogram picture from me or else I’ll look at it constantly. Once we are in our house, I want to make a memory box for the baby and put the picture in there. I also want to plant something in our yard in memoriam. Once I have that closure, I believe I will be ready to TTC again.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes: I just take solace in how wonderful my husband is, and that I feel we can get through anything. I am also keeping my mind off TTC right now by planning things to do once we get the keys to our new home. That will definitely keep me occupied.

 

Post # 7
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I also want to say that I cannot tell you all enough how much this thread has helped me. When we got the bad news, I had no idea how I was going to get on with my life. Reading your stories and getting so much support from all of you really helped. I am now able to go most days without being sad. I have accepted this as a part of my life, and I just hope and pray that I, and all of you, will soon have a day where I am holding my baby in my arms. Thats all I want for my husband and myself. We were born to be parents and what happened to us is just cruel. But we are all strong. We can all get through this. I offer my condolences to all of you, especially those of you who are rejoining this thread after another loss. My heart goes out to you.

Post # 8
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

openarms24:  You are lucky your bff is good for that.  Mine was not exactly happy when we got pregnant and she seems scared to talk to me about the MCs or she avoids it because it makes her uncomfortable, I’m not sure. Literally the only thing she says when it comes up is “It just wasn’t your time yet.”  Like someone is sitting there choosing to take my babies away from me because of timing.  

 

My family is far away and doesn’t stress me out but I also don’t want to stress them out by talking too much about it.

I think half the reason I spend so much time on the bee is because IRL my friends are in 1 of two camps:  1) super fertile with no complications (I am pretty resentful not to be one of those people, so it’s hard to talk much to them), or 2) Not trying and no kids.  There is one exception of a friend who had 3 miscarriages before 2 pregnancies..

 

Post # 9
Member
2194 posts
Buzzing bee

Thank you for starting a new thread!

 

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): TTC cycle

MC History: 1 ectopic in September, have been TTC since September 2013

Issues (if any): only one fallopian tube, hypothyroidism, unexplained chronic endometritis. DH has slightly low morphology, but probably not an issue.

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): trying not to think about it, exercising, taking my vitamins, and just generally being healthy

Link to chart:

What are your biggest challenges right now? I’m entering my first TWW since my surgery to remove the ectopic, and I’m mostly just feeling like it’s hopeless and I have so few chances with only one tube. Also dealing with inflammation in my uterus that is unexplained. Doctor doesn’t want to do anything about it since I have no infections or issues that would be causing it, but I am very worried it could cause damage and issues with implantation.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes: Just trying to stay positive, and know that this will happen eventually. And wine. Plenty of wine.

 

Post # 10
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I will roll call again because I’d like to hang out more here. I know I’m not actively TTC, but this group gets me the most.

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): Rest for undetermined time.

MC History: Mmc in July. Was 13 weeks but growth stopped at 9 weeks. D&C in July. Got pregnant in Sept, 2nd cycle post D&C. Chemical pregnancy at 5 weeks.

Issues (if any): Not sure. I’m 23 amd DH is 24 so it seems like maybe there is an issue? We are supposedly healthy so I dont know why it isn’t working for us. Next time we try I want to get advice from a doctor beforehand. 

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): Nada right now. I’m still tracking my cycles on an app. My chemical probably messed up my normal cyce so we will see how that goes. I also need to get back on BCP probably. Sigh.

Link to chart: Not a charter

What are your biggest challenges right now? Giving up the TTC dream right now. I know we’re young and have time. It’s just hard. Two losses in 7 months and now we are stopping. We are now planning on moving in May since both pregnancies didnt work out. I’m a mix of emotions right now. I want to move and get a new job. But I also wanted to start a family where we are at now because both of our families are close in distance and our financial situation is stable. Oh well 🙁 it’s complicated. DH originally wanted to try again and I didnt. Now I kinda do but he doesn’t. Damn life choices.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes: Working out. Pretty much the only thing I can control solidly. I’ve devoted new time to eating right again.

 

redux: I wanted to thank you for thinking of me on the previous thread. I have my fingers crossed for you! This better be your flipping rainbow or life is really not fair. Hugs! I know the fear you have. 

Post # 11
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee

Roll calling again on new thread.

Roll call:

Status (MC cycle/rest cycle/TTC cycle): MC cycle

MC History: Issues (if any): I miscarried on October 13 at 6 weeks and 4 days.  

Action Plan for next TTC cycle (ie Baby Aspirin, progesterone, etc): I’m pretty sure I just ovulated a few days ago based on OPKs, EWCM and a temp raise.  We plan to start TTC on our next cycle.  Because this was my first mc, no additional testing was done as to why I miscarried.  My game plan this time is to make sure I get frequent blood tests for HCG and progesterone levels and a scan around 6 weeks to make sure growth is happening.  In addition, I’m continuing with my prenatal vitamins now so they will be in my system for longer than last time.  I’m also cutting out all caffeine and alcohol starting on day 1 of my next cycle so that I don’t have to worry about having done any of that before I knew.  Last time I let myself have 1 cup of 1/2 Caf coffee a day, but I won’t do that again.

Link to chart: http://FertilityFriend.com/home/530c08

What are your biggest challenges right now? I’m pretty sure everyone who knows thinks I should be emotionally “over it” by now and I’m most definitely not.  I still find myself crying a lot more than usual and feeling generally sad.  It seems like most people in my life think that because it ended so early I must not feel like my baby died, but I was SO excited and I do feel like my baby was taken from me unfairly.  I know I’m not supposed to blame myself but I kind of hope that it was something I did (like drink a few glasses of wine before I knew, have a cup of 1/2 Caf coffee or not start prenatal vitamins early enough) because those are things I can fix to prevent it from happening again.  I’m worried that something is wrong with me and this will happen again.

Current coping strategies/favorite inspirational quotes: I’ve decided to not stop planning to have a baby.  Thinking about things like what we will do for a nursery and what kind of baby things we might need eventually help me to feel hopeful that we will be successful in TTC and pregnancy next time.  I’ve also really started charting so I understand what is going on with my body much better.

Post # 12
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Kay1126:  Awww. I feel the same way about this thread.  And I agree that it just feels cruel.  I know that dogs aren’t the same as kids blahblahblah, but when DH and I interact with pup I can’t help but be like F*** we would make such a good parenting team! I don’t just want to be a pupmom my whole life.

whitums:  I have a pretty ignorant question, but when you lose a tube does that side still take it’s turn to “ovulate”?  

MrsNebraska:  I’m not glad to see you here, but I’m glad you decided to roll call if that makes any sense.  It sounds like you guys have big/bold moves coming up which is exciting!  Also will give you other things to focus on until you’re both back on the same page.  My thoughts are always that you don’t want to TTC right before trying to switch jobs because it’s best to have a year under your belt before you go out on maternity (in the US).   Would you be working if you had a baby?  Just curious, I for sure will be or we would have to sell our house! 

missadventure85:    I can understand that hoping miscarriage is under your control and that if you just be good and skip coffee, you’ll avoid it happening again.  However, I think it’s something like a 96% chance that your MC was a chromosonal mismatch that was not going to thrive no matter what. That doesn’t mean that ANYTHING is wrong with you.  

FWIW, I drink a K-Cup of coffee every morning (176 mg) and cherish the moment.  I’ve had recurrent miscarriage testing and nowhere in my doctor’s appt did he ask, now did you have too much coffee or wine when you were pregnant?    I guess my point is that TTC can be hard, and if you take pleasure in a half-caf you should give that to yourself!  It can also be very difficult if you start blaming yourself/questioning every decision you made for what is almost universally a biology based issue. Think about all the women with terrible lifestyles, drug addictions, alcoholism, smoking a pack a day, etc that successfully have babies! 

Post # 13
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Andthepupmakes3:  I am in total agreement with TTC and starting a new job. I told DH I would want to be at my job a year at least before having a baby. So really it would be sometime next year around this time that we would be trying again. I am looking forward to moving to a bigger city than where we are. We just won’t really know anyone there. And right now his sister goes to the college I work at and his parents are 30 minutes away. Mine are about 2 hours. So it would have worked out well, but I guess that’s the way it goes. We will be about 7/8 hours away from our families with this new move. I’m just so burned out on my job (usually has a two year turnover rate and I am on 1.5 years now). I would definitely work after having a baby. I am not a stay at home mom type, but props to those who are. I currently work at and live in a dorm on a college campus and I am basically a stay at home mom for 100 teenagers. Not ideal. Plus I love working. I would either have to go back to school or work in order to be happy. So if anything I figure drop down to part time or find a flexible job after a baby. Part of me also wants to buy a house before we have a baby, which would be in a couple years (just did our budget this weekend). So we are on a different path now.

Post # 14
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

MrsNebraska:  I just wanted to say that it’s great that you guys have taken unfortunate circumstances as an opportunity to regroup and prioritize your lives. Putting off TTC is such a difficult decision, and one that I am struggling with right now (though likely for only a few months) but its so important to do what you feel would be best in the long run. I’m glad to see you decided to stick around here. I’m sure you will have doubts along the way, or moments that will cause you to want to come here and talk to women who can totally understand and sympathize with what you have been through. I just wanted to wish you luck- it sounds like you have some very exciting life changes coming up!

Post # 15
Member
2194 posts
Buzzing bee

Andthepupmakes3:  Not an ignorant question…and I actually found this to be interesting! Unfortunately yes, the non-tube side will still ovulate. However, apparently about 20% of the time, the other tube will actually move close enough to be able to “catch” the egg from the tubeless ovary. Kinda crazy! Of course I usually ovulate from the side that I no longer have a tube, so hopefully my left tube loves to travel lol.

Also, I totally agree with you about the coffee! I think we’re all hyper aware of how healthy we need to be, but giving up everything that you enjoy just makes this whole process even harder each month. Which is why I had a cocktail at dinner last night and I don’t feel remotely guilty about it!

The topic ‘Journey of TTC after miscarriage part 6’ is closed to new replies.

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