judging other peoples financial situation (vent)

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Or how about; “they don’t make hardly any money; how the hell did they buy that? They must be in debt”.

Post # 4
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Kandiss16:  It seems like people like to judge about things that society deems important (i.e. money, appearance, etc.)

Post # 6
Member
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Funny enough two weeks ago, i was judge for having different bank accounts from my husband and was called greedy and spoiled, among other things ;(  Personally when people are unhappy with their lifes or just plain miserable, they will make unnecessary comments about others….its annoying and just so effing rude!  totally know what you mean!

Post # 7
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Kandiss16:  I cannot stand these types of comments.  Even if they are loaded and could afford it, it’s not your place to judge what they should or should not spend their money on.  

Post # 8
Member
752 posts
Busy bee

@Kandiss16:  Human behavior makes us want to put things, and people to some extent, into categories.  This makes “the other” (as in, a person different from oneself) more readily understandable and/or relatable.

Is it right to judge?  Probably not.  But it will always be a presence, so long as we live in societies.  Especially about a topic such as money – it means different things to different people; emotion is attached to the use of it.  Once you start talking about something that isn’t necessarily purely rational or objective….you’ll get judgement.  Especially if you appear to spend a lot on something that, as you’ve said, society deems acceptable or desirable.  Like plastic surgery to make your boobs bigger/lose weight, or a flashy e-ring, or a luxury-brand car/purse/etc.  

It’s not a positive trait, what we humans to do each other sometimes, is it?  I know I’m guilty of it, but then we all are, whether we acknowledge it or not.     :/

Post # 9
Member
10489 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’ve totally done it, and at times it’s hard not to.  Sometimes you do know a fair amount about someone’s finances, when you’re helping with taxes.  They can’t afford anything for gifts (or one shared physical gift for an entire extended family not living in the same city) but then ask you to be around for the delivery of their expensive stuff because they have to go out and buy expensive clothing so are just too busy.

This person is selfish when it comes to non-financial stuff too.  Yeah – I judge.

Post # 10
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Kandiss16:  Agreed! I can’t stand when people “count my money”!

Post # 11
Member
2826 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Getcho hand out my pocket!!

Post # 13
Member
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

I only judge people’s financial decisions if they ask to borrow my money claiming necessity/trying to get out of a temporary debt hole, and then I watch them turn around and go shopping for clothes/electronics they don’t need and absolutely cannot afford with or without my loan. And then stop paying me back 1/5th of the way through the balance. And then later mention a vague acquaintance who is in money trouble and suggests I loan them money as well. Despite the suggestor still being in debt to me and probably not planning on paying me back, ever, because “that’s what families do!”

Me? Bitter? Hrmph. But yes, I judge.

Post # 14
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@AB Bride:  Agreed. We’re dealing with this with my FI’s brother. They sit there and say that they might not able to afford to come to the wedding at all (despite knowing the date for a very long time), and then magically have the money to come up here for three separate visits prior to the wedding.

It’s frustrating, OP. I get what you’re saying sometimes (“They’re loaded and they only spent $xx on us!”), but sometimes it’s really hurtful when people complain about having no money and maybe not being able to come to their own brother’s wedding, but then magically find money to visit three other times after that (but then if you bring up something that costs money, it starts again…unless you’re paying and then they’ll have the lobster).

Post # 15
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

My peeve is when people say, why are you buying that when you should be helping so and so or doing this or doing that? How do you know I didn’t get it for free? Or put it on credit? Or maybe I am making payments to that person? 

Example: we are getting a little fishing boat (think little beat up tin boat lol – btw I am so excited about it) from a guy DH works from, its soooo inexpensive. I mean seriously, dude just wants it out of his driveway. He is letting us make rediculously small payments on it because he has to replace a few parts and it’s still at his place, was supposed to pick it up a few weeks ago :(. 

We had someone comment on how can we afford that.. WTF. Our bills are paid, food on the table, we both work, if our family wants for anything we help, stay out of our business. I shouldn’t have to explain anything. 

ETA: this isn’t in response to ANY PP, they weren’t there when I was typing this out lol

Post # 16
Member
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

i absolutely agree. my SO and i are both currently unemployed and in law school in europe. we travel ALOT – but it’s crazy inexpensive to do so, and when we do, we aren’t staying at the plaza! we get a lot of crap from people about not being ‘responsible’ with our money – and it annoys me to no end. we don’t owe a cent to anyone – not for rent, tuition, bills – nothing.

we worked and saved for 2 years to have a good cushion for law school – and those same people bitched then about how we ‘could’ afford to go out/tovegas/etc but didn’t (because we were saving for law school) and now they don’t like how we spend that money either. i actually had to tell a friend how inexpensive our trip to france was because she would not shut it about ‘spending while unemployed’. 

plus – we have a very small window of living in europe – we want to take advantage of that!

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