Post # 1
Planning a wedding is stressful! And these days, people throw the word “bridezilla” around pretty freely, so most brides do as much as they can to avoid that label. But sometimes, as hard as you try to be calm, rational, and flexible, things happen that send you over the edge and you have a bridezilla breakdown.
So far I’ve been a pretty laid back bride. I’m a big planner, but since we’re having a 19 month engagement, I’ve had plenty of time to plan ahead and do things a little at a time so I haven’t gotten overwhelmed with it all.
However, I had quite a meltdown at Hobby Lobby a few weeks ago. I ordered glass bowls and floating candles for our DIY centerpieces, and they never called me to let me know they had arrived. When I finally called to check (about a month after I ordered), they said they were in and I could come pick them up any time. When I went in to pick them up 3 days later, I found out the bowls were all broken. Of course, I only found this out after they kept me waiting at the front of the store for 45 minutes while they repeatedly told me they were “looking for them.”
I lost it. I yelled at the customer service manager, who was the one who kept telling me they were looking for them, even though she admitted that she had known for a little while that they were broken. I yelled at the assistant store manager, who kept telling me that they would need more information about my order before they could do anything (??? they had the receipt, I’m not sure what other information was needed to understand that I wanted my bowls in one piece, thank you, and he made no effort to actually ask for more information instead of repeating that line over and over).
I go back and forth between feeling a bit embarrassed and feeling justified in my anger since the situation was handled so poorly. Regardless, I think we’ve all had at least one of those moments during the planning (or maybe on the day of the wedding!), so I want to hear your stories!
Post # 2
I got genuinely pissed off at one of my bridesmaids just this past week. She’s been dating a new guy for 2 weeks and the other day I asked her how things were going with him, I jokingly asked if wedding bells were in the air and she told me, “funny you should mention that…” She told me out of the blue that she is getting married just weeks before my FI and I. I genuinely was pissed off and hurt, especially when I found out she was having the same color scheme as us. My FI felt like she was trying to upstage us or something. I flipped out on her (and the guy) told them they were insane for not only deciding to get married directly before us, but for planning a wedding after only dating for two weeks! (They aren’t even engaged yet). I was really looking forward to having my friend do wedding shopping with me and visiting vendors and helping me and now she will be too busy planning her own wedding. I feel like I’m a bridezilla because I don’t want to share my wedding planning experience.
A few days have passed and I’m starting to cool off a little. I did suggest if we are bridesmaids for each other, we shouldn’t be each other’s MOH’s simply because we will both be busy with our own planning. Hopefully that’s my only major bridezilla moment.
Post # 3
alexsquared: meh, it’s Hobby Lobby. My gfs and I are boycotting that store for life now anyway.
We are planning something small, so no crazed moments for me (yet). FI on the other hand is handling the venue booking/menu/finances. He’s fired off a snappy email or two at venues over inflated costs. I guess that would make him a Groomzilla!
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods
I got ‘hangry’ during a dress fitting with my MOH. We still joke about it today, and whenever we go anywhere for an extended period of time she’s still very particular about making sure I eat. It must have been pretty bad. Also, I had lots of vases and candles that I wanted scattered randomly but organized on my reception tables. Apparently I went behind my bridesmaids and fixed every table when thay were done so that they were perfect. To this day I still don’t remember doing it, but it sounds like me. I’m certifiably OCD but I’m not usually rude about it.
Post # 5
crisy003: Planning to get married after only 2 weeks of dating?! Take comfort that more than likely they will either break up before the wedding or divorce shortly after. Also, your friend was probably jealous of you so that’s why she’s rushing.
Post # 6
HCbee2014: That’s exactly what my FI was telling me! He feels that she is jealous about a lot of things that we’re doing and that she’s trying to copy us. We bought house, she bought a house. We plan a wedding, she finds a new boyfriend and plans a wedding just weeks before us. I choose navy bridesmaid dresses, she chooses navy bridesmaid dresses. It’s frustrating honestly! I don’t want to seem not happy for her, but really! Two weeks of dating and she convinced him to get married in 9 months time!! I asked her boyfriend who even brought up the idea of rushing and he said it was her idea. I have no idea how that’s all going to play out, so far it’s kind of a disaster!
Post # 7
crisy003: I agree with HCbee2014, it’s pretty unlikely that they’ll make it all the way until the wedding. I’ve known a few people who got engaged almost immediately and broke off the engagement several months later when they realized they barely knew each other. Regardless, I suppose imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? But I would probably keep the rest of the wedding details quiet so she can’t copy everything.
Post # 8
I haven’t had any angry bridezilla moments, but I’ve been a stressed out, emotional hot mess lately. I was finishing the seating chart (keep in mind that only 30 people are invited), and I began to ugly-cry. FI asked me what was wrong, and I had a complete meltdown because I was afraid nobody would want to mingle and talk to the people they were seated near. Or that nobody would show up and I’d have one or more empty, sad-looking tables.
FI was like, “honestly, the only person I’m concerned about showing up is you. If you show up and marry me, none of the other people matter.” That really pulled me back to reality and now I’m not so caught up in what my guests do.
Post # 9
coffeedrinker: True! I wish now that I had gone to Michael’s, for multiple reasons!
I can’t imagine my FI being a groomzilla, but that’s mostly because his involvement in the planning has been basically limited to making “mmhmm” sounds as I ramble on about the wedding.
Post # 10
I’m very close to going “bridezilla” on my guests over RSVPs. We decided to do online RSVPs because our wedding website counts the guests attending and the guests not attending, and it saved a lot of money on postage. Plus, we’re moving the month before the wedding, so we were afraid some of the returned RSVP cards might get lost in the mail or the move. <br /><br />It’s a really simple process to RSVP – just go to the very simple link provided on the invitation, and RSVP for everyone on the invite. (For example, if your invite is addressed to The Jones Family, RSVP for all involved. FI has a big family and lots of cousins that still live at home, so this is crucial to getting accurate numbers). <br /><br />2 weeks after sending out invites, I only had 17/126 RSVPs, and several of his aunts had RSVP’d only for themselves, but not for husbands or children, who were actually planning on coming, as I found out after I called them to clarify. In addition to that, most of his family has told my future MIL about whether or not they would attend instead of RSVPing on the site, and several have texted me to say “maybe”. <br /><br />Maybe is not an RSVP. I have to turn in numbers to the caterer and make seating charts. They’ve known about the wedding for a year, which is plenty of time to make plans even for OOT guests. <br /><br />Luckily, my meltdown has been prevented by an incredibly supportive MOH and SIL, so they’ve been bitching at people for me. But lord, I’ve come very close to exploding.
Post # 11
I’m not going to lie. I have cried A LOT (privately) about this wedding. It’s been stressful just because I’ve been planning my sister’s wedding and best friend’s wedding in conjunction with my own.
Luckily, I haven’t done any of this out loud. But omg I need to stop being such a baby! I’m more a baby-zilla.
Post # 12
alexsquared: I was cool as a cucumber through out the entire process of planning for 9 months until it was picture time on the day of the wedding. We had one request of the immediate family members to be at a specific time at the venue and nobody could be found. My photographer had a list and she called out the names and nobody was there. It was ridiculous. And of course my sister in law who is always late for everything completely missed the family pictures. I was being a pretty big bitch about it and her entire family heard me grumbling about it. I’m not proud of it and I should have handled it better but I had no bridesmaids, nobody was expected to do anything or be anywhere for us for the entire engagement/wedding. No rehersal dinner. At least come to family pictures on time!!!
Post # 13
Not really a bridezilla, but I burst into wild tears when 70 days out from the wedding, the seamstress decided that my dress was NEVER GOING TO FIT ME RIGHT IN THE BUST. I’d ordered a larger size because I am so long waisted, and it just didn’t work. I had to wear it that way to my bridal portraits. My wrath that evening was INSANE. Only my parents saw it.
Long story short, I found one on nearlynewlywed (same dress) that had been worn by a super small chested girl like myself. Credit cards FTW. I can’t believe I bought two dresses. The same freaking dress. Two. I dropped the old one off at a consignment shop today.
If money can fix the problem, and you have the money, you don’t have a problem. BUT STILL.
Post # 14
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
I raged at my MIL two days before our wedding. I love my MIL. SFIL was threatening to boycott the wedding/cause a huge scene because FIL was coming to the wedding. All 3 of DH’s parents are huge parts of our lives and we are close to all of them. She had been trying with SFIL but he was being an ass. Then she brought up possibly bringing different beer in a cooler for SFIL because he didn’t like the beer we were having (we had good beers too, I still don’t get the problem) and he gets whiny. I finally lost my shit and was like, ‘you need to get a handle on him. He’s ruining our day by being a big baby. Get it the fuck together or he doesn’t come.’ But a lot longer and angrier. She was really nice about it and I have apologized every day for the last year and a half because it was never really her responsibility, although he certainly wasn’t listening. And I think she slipped him a Xanax on the day of, because he happily drank like two whiskeys and behaved himself and we even have a picture of him, DH, and FIL together smiling. But OMG I lost it that day.
Post # 15
I think I approached bridezilla territory this week, but managed to keep calm. My friend last week listened to me vent about FI’s mother trying to impose her ideas on the wedding and not respecting our desires (when we are paying for everything). This friend suggested that I have a basket of flip flops at the wedding for people to change into. I told her that I did not want to do that. She kept saying I needed this, and I kept telling her I didn’t want it.
This friend went this weekend and bought a ton of flip flops anyway even though I said no! I know she was trying to be helpful and it was very sweet of her, but this is really annoying. She actually texted me, “I know you said no, but I bought them anyway…” WHY do people insist on doing things that THEY want for OUR wedding? I specifically told her more than once that I didn’t want a flip flops basket at the wedding. It’s not that it’s a bad idea, but it’s not us and not the tone we want for our wedding.
Even though the issue is not a big deal because she can return the shoes, in that moment, I felt really disrespected and maybe it was a lot of stuff affecting me at once and the stress of the day approaching. I almost turned into a giant monster, who roared, “GRRRR…NO FLIP FLOPS!!!!” Instead, I took a walk around the block before responding to my friend, who is otherwise a really wonderful and thoughtful person.