Post # 1
Is it just me, or can some people be completely judgmental towards someone because she’s the bride?
I was posting on another site about some bridesmaid trouble I’m having and I was asking for advice. The response I could from some people, I just couldn’t believe! One girl kept going on and on about how my BM probably can’t afford the dress and I need to “leave her the hell alone”. If she doesn’t order, I should sit down and tell her that I’m sorry I didn’t take her budget into consideration and explain myself. She seriously went on this long rant about how people can’t afford things these days and I’m being selfish.
The thing is, I never once mentioned budget in my post and my BM isn’t even paying for her dress!
The comments upset me. I felt like I was being attacked and this isn’t the first time. I’ve decided I won’t be posting anymore advice and just ask the people I know IRL for what to do.
Does anyone else think there are some people who just jump at the chance to tell a bride off, even when they don’t deserve it?
Post # 3
Depends what the issue is. How about you post your trouble here and we’ll let you know.
Post # 4
well if youre going to be on the internetz you need to have a thicker skin than that.
Post # 5
I agree with others, we’d kind of have to see what the post was to say who was being unfair.
Post # 6
It depends on your particular situation… I won’t hesitate to tell a bride she’s being stupid if she is indeed being stupid.
Post # 7
@feelingfriendless1: There’s a lot of hungry, cranky women on the internet is my hypothesis.
Post # 8
I think there is some judgement towards brides on the internet because some brides do need to be put in their place. There are real wedding problems and then there are bridezilla/bride-brain problems. I will give constructive advice and sympathy to real problems, but I will not hesitate to call someone out when they are being a total B.
Post # 9
I think we all know what site you were on. The posters there tend to be very judgemental and “speculative” like that. I’ve been on a forum with a very similar atmosphere. It’s not about people being judgemental of brides, it’s about them being bitches who have to put others down because they’re drama queens who can’t function without making everyone around them miserable.
Though I do agree that people are unfairly critical of brides for a variety of reasons. The number one reason is weddings are very extravagant and some get OTT, and such a wedding planning environment breeds bridezillas. The number two reason, women can’t ever assert themselves without being called “bitches” so even reasonable requests are just SO TACKY AND OVER THE TOP OMG.
Even in the first scenario, though, most brides really aren’t being spoiled brats, the anxiety, stress and frustration is just getting to them. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to tell them that their bride-brain is taking over, but it can be done gently without being bitchy and accidentally creating a monster. I’ve long accepted that with my anxiety and perfectionist tendencies I’m going to have a few bridezilla moments. And that’s okay. At least I’m aware of it and can take measures to either avoid those moments or at least make them not as bad.
But there’s people who don’t hesitate to call people off just because they can. I think that’s really what’s happening in your situation. Are you being unreasonable? Utterly irrelevant in this case. Doesn’t matter if you expect all your bridesmaids to show up wearing authentic Civil War-era ballgowns with diamond-encrusted cowboy boots, or if you’re having a cheapo wedding and bought all the BMs’ dresses off the rack yourself. It’s all about them shitting all over everyone else in an effort to look cool and tough and righteous for each other. Did you do something wrong? An environment like that will give you no answers, because no matter what they’ll twist everything you say and insist it’s true when it is not, and if you tell them it’s not true they won’t even care– or they’ll scream at you for violating their erroneous view of the world.
WB is one of the best places to go to for wedding advice– for all the threads whining about drama and bitchiness on the boards, I really don’t see much of that behavior. If you’re being unreasonable we’ll tell you, but we won’t pile-on with bullshit that we totally made up and we won’t attack you.
Post # 10
Yes, I’m sure some people do.