- 4 years ago
My SO and I do not live together, in fact we are a long distance couple. We have a two week meet up planned for the end of this month and I’ve found myself getting a little annoyed. There are so many things that he wants to do on this visit, like going to the mountains, festivals, romantic dinners etc… and I felt like today, I may have unintentionally taken some of the wind out of his sails.
Basically, I told him that I only wanted to do a couple things while there, because I don’t want to build unreal expectations. We are saving to move in with eachother in a year or so, and I don’t want to get used to the thrill of being a part, seeing each other, and then pampering the hell out of each other, if we can’t keep it up when we finally move in.
We ended the conversation pleasantly but a little prematurely, because my emotions were getting me frustrated at the fact that I couldn’t articulate properly what it was that I really wanted, and he wasn’t comprehending my gibberish at all. He asked me ‘So does that mean that I shouldn’t make you breakfast when you get here, because I may not do it every day that we live together?’
It made me sad and flustered because he’s not sure where to draw the line, and i’m not sure either. But now as I’m sitting here, I wonder if what I said was right or not? Is it possible for live in couples to enjoy date nights a couple times through out the week, still get excited to see each other, enjoy sex, be all romantic etc…while under the same roof?
We’re both in our early twenties and have never lived with a partner before, and I guess I just want to keep things as ‘real’ as possible. But I wonder if in my attempt, I’m actually conforming to what society/media says will be real for us…. so confused lol
(Btw, we have been together for 2.5 years and have spent weeks at a time with one another. This isn’t our first visit.)
I would love any opinions, personal experiences, or advice!