Jumbled and Confused

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Lounging_in_Lilacs:  …as an in the trenches, battle hardened wife, I will say that I commend your desire to keep your feet grounded in reality, but at the same time I want you to know that as relationships age….those flitting romantic get-aways and grand gestures get replaced by bills, and kids, and broken garbage disposals and discussions over what kinds of herbs to plant in the garden….they certainly don’t disappear and the love you share doesn’t vanish, life just intrudes…so grab onto a fantastic romantic week where all you have to worry about it what wonderful thing you’re going to do next…because this morning, I came THIS close to killing my husband with my keys and that shit felt pretty real….

Reality is overrated, enjoy the fantasy while it lasts….it gives you something to hold onto when days are hard and long.

Post # 4
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Nona99:  +1, exactly.

OP, enjoy it while it lasts. You don’t have other obligations at the moment and don’t live with each other, so why not make the most of your time together? I would try and prematurely end this phase if I was you.

Post # 6
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Is it possible for live in couples to enjoy date nights a couple times through out the week, still get excited to see each other, enjoy sex, be all romantic etc…while under the same roof?


Absolutely! I’d enjoy this as much as you can because you will eventually get comfortable with each other to the point where there are more important things that take over, and it is harder to do all these things. DH and I make time to have date nights and do special things for each other. We have when we weren’t living together, when we were engaged, and now that we are married. We will both be continuing it once our baby is born.

Take advantage of this, please!

 

Post # 7
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Agreed with the PPs!! Make the most of your time together when you have it. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Too soon will you be discussing who is making dinner tonight and who will be cleanng up, paying bills, etc. and you’ll be longing for those carefree, fun times together. 

In addition to having fun, you’ll be sharing wonderful memories of your time together and that will only strengthen your relationship.

Post # 8
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Yes, yes it is! My SO and I also do not currently live together, but he does stay at my apartment a few nights per week. We have date nights at home once a week. It may be just cuddling up for a movie night, but there is still romance there.

Let him spoil you if he wants to! I love waking up to my SO cooking me breakfast or coming home from work to a meal he has cooked to surprise me.

Post # 10
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Just have the fun and don’t overthink things. LDRs are very difficult but aren’t easier if you introduce unnatural constraints on enjoying yourselves when you are together. I don’t have personal experience to go by but my eldest son is soon to get married to his Americal fiancee. They’ve spent the last few years conducting their relationship in the USA (about 5 months together followed by a 4 month break), New Zealand (nearly a whole year together), then a 3 month break when he came home from NZ and she returned to the USA. Then another 6 months together in the UK followed by being apart for 9 months during which he visited the USA three times. She’s now here in England for good.

What they did was to treasure every moment they had together. So when she was here they travelled in Europe as well as enjoying visits to historic places and going to music festivals and the like. In the US, they made sure to spend time snowboarding in the Rockies and road tours of the South West and the Utah National Parks.  Sure, they did boring old domestic stuff as well but they were determined to get the best out of being with each other. Not deny themselves the things they love to do just because one day they’d settle down to married life.

So the conclusion to this saga is, enjoy life together!

Post # 11
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Have the romance and fun now. These are the memories that you will hold onto when things are more practical. I am sure things will change a lot once you are no longer long distance, but you will still have your moments.

Post # 14
Member
9253 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Lounging_in_Lilacs:   Oh, please, let this man spoil you, pamper you and romance you!  Take the most advantage of these days and let yourself luxuriate in this stage of love. 

My husband and I are still in the romantic/lust stage but we’re both natured that way anyway.  We’ve been together over two years and married for one year in September (next month, yay!).  He still does a lot of sweet, romantic and thoughtful things for me and I do for him as well.  It’s not that hard to keep romance alive if you try.

Have fun, life is short, get the most pleasure from love possible while you can.  🙂

Post # 16
Member
3128 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

It really depends on your lifestyle and your relationship. DH and I both work retail so our schedules can be at odds with each other. I am an introvert and need a lot of alone time/quiet time to decompress. We are also on a budget. So for our particular circumstance, dates 2x a week would be excessive. We tend to go on one date a week, plus one dinner at my parents house, and then quality time at home where we grill or watch a movie or something. For us, it is perfect and just enough to keep the romance alive. As long as we know that our relationship is a priority, we are pretty content. 

ETA: We have been together 10 years, have lived together for about 8, and have been married for 2 🙂

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