Post # 1
So, when we first got engaged, my fiance and I agreed that we would each have three attendants. I’ve already chosen and asked my matron of honor (my aunt), and two bridesmaids (fiance’s sister and his best friend’s wife whom I get along with quite well). Well, now my fiance tells me that he may want to ask two more of his friends in addition to the two he’s already asked, for a total of four groomsmen. I don’t have any close female friends and I don’t really want to add another friend’s wife/girlfriend that I’m not that close to just to even things out. I’ve read on other threads that you shouldn’t ask someone just to be a filler and I agree with that.
So I figure I have two options: 1. Stick with 3 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen and try not to care that our sides are uneven, or
2. I could ask my cousin (matron of honor’s daughter) to be a junior bridesmaid.
She’ll be 11 and I’m sure she’d be thrilled to be part of the wedding. I would also love to be able to include her. The main reason I haven’t asked is because my aunt & uncle don’t have a ton of money and I already feel bad making my aunt buy a dress for herself, so adding a second dress, shoes, etc. would make me feel even more guilty. I could probably offer to buy my cousin’s dress myself…
But anyway, which option would be weirder? Uneven numbers of attendants, or adding the junior bridesmaid in an attempt to even things out?
Post # 3
i think both options are fine. but i would only add the junior BM if you could afford to pay her dress. since your aunt is paying for hers already, and would have to also pay for her daughters, might be a bit much. then you know them and their financial situation, so maybe it would be fine! i am asking FIs niece to be a junior BM, but i knew from the beginning i would be paying for her dress. but i really wanted to include her.
as for the uneven sides, i would be happy to be in your situation. i have 6 BMs and FI has 2 GMs. i would be thrilled for it be “more” even like yours. so i really dont think 3 and 4 is a big deal at all. people have convinced me that six and two is fine although i definitely had my doubts!
Post # 4
IMO, don’t add someone just to make the numbers even. If you want to add the 11 year old because she’s a special kid in your life, etc, by all means do though! If the parents are struggling financially, could you pick up the cost of the dress?
Post # 6
I agree with PurpleUnicorn. I think it would be so much fun for her!
Post # 7
I originally had four bridesmaids until one of them went to teach english in China (happy for her!). I didn’t mind having an uneven number, and one of the girls walked in between two of the groomsmen! I wouldn’t worry about having an uneven number. Ask her to be a junior bridemsaid only if you really want her to be.
Post # 8
It doesn’t matter either way but I agree with the other posts that only include the young girl if she means something to you and you’re willing to help her parents out with costs